Day 51: Rodeo Queen

This is one of Chance's favourites - and as some malingerers have complained about the depressing tone in previous songs, I'll post this more rollicking stomp. It's inspired by 93.7FM and revolves around the holy trinity of A, E, and D. Let's roll.

"Rodeo Queen"

The merry month of May and the rodeo's here
And ain't no one looking cuter than you my dear
As we walk down the street, the folks holler "how's that?"
Where'd an angel from heaven find that beautiful hat?
You make the girls all jealous and the boys all blush
But I just stutter and mumble and such
The clowns are looking funny and the bulls are looking mean
But no one's looking better than my rodeo queen

Oh rodeo queen, you're the cutest I've seen
Oh rodeo queen, do you know what I mean?

In your momma's dress, and your daddy's truck
We're heading for the riverbank to try our luck
But the fish ain't biting, and the deer've gone sleeping
Dip your toes in the water, watch the bullfrogs leaping
Staring up at the stars, and they plant the seed
That a little of your medicine is all I need
With your engine revving you're a clean machine
I'll dance the night away with my rodeo queen

Oh rodeo queen, you're the cutest I've seen
Oh rodeo queen, do you know what I mean?

In the morning wake up with mud in my eyes
And fleas in my hair and to my surprise
The clouds were green and the trees were blue
But all I see is that hat and you
Though the years have passed I can feel it still
Like I felt it then, I guess I always will
Though we've changed a lot since we were both sixteen
I will love you forever, you're my rodeo queen

Oh rodeo queen, you're the cutest I've seen
Oh rodeo queen, do you know what I mean?

Oh rodeo queen, you're the cutest I've seen
Oh rodeo queen, do you know what I mean?

---

Copyright: Croftonsongs, 2003

p.s. Happy Birthday Snowy, wherever you are.

Day 50: Who Let The Cats In?

After the dog-hunting adventures of Monday, I decided to do nothing on Tuesday. Nothing at all. But then a strange fear gripped me, and I went back to the old apartment anyways. Since it was now daylight I decided to go back to the scene of my cellphone accident - and lo and behold within 15 seconds there in front of my eyes was the little joystick. This made me quite the happy cat. Now I'm not brave enough to take apart my phone to actually reinsert it, but am content to know that it can be done when leisure dictates.

After a short cleaning episode, I went home to prepare my new apartment for the 9PM arrival of Chance and Slippers. It's all been apartment this, apartment that, boxes this, boxes that - no time to sit back and enjoy life. Anyways - I got most of the boxes unpacked (or at least hidden). The highlight though was putting my rug down - I had a feeling that Chance and Slippers would enjoy it - and I was not mistaken!

Chance and Slippers were to be accompanied by both BumblyBee and her mother. BumblyBee has been moving (to Kitsilano) these past few days - but she had the presence of mind to take a couple days off work to do it, whereas I've been struggling with things every evening. So she's smart and I'm dumb - but I'll do better next time.

At 9:20 the brothers arrived and leaped out of their (joint) carrying case. Having seen a taste of the outdoors, Chance seemed eager to return to it, and ran for the door - but he has not mastered the doorknob so in he stays. It was fun to watch them wander about the house figuring out where the important things are: the bathroom, the catbox, the closets, the corners to hide in, the humans to meow at until they pat (or feed) you.

After enjoying a tasty beverage, BumblyBee and her mother had to leave but BumblyBee has promised to visit soon to check in on them. I decided to have an early night myself and retired to my bedchambers. Even as I lay there reading, I could hear the cats scampering around the house. It was a pleasant set of sounds to hear, I assure you. I found it hard to feel tense or nervous when there is a cat sitting next you purring his heart out (at 100 db) as you scratch his chin. Everyone should rush out and get a cat immediately: even you Gilman - you can find some prospective kitties at Meow Aid.

Throughout the night, Chance and Slippers both periodically came and visited my bed - though Slippers didn't stay too long. Now that Chance is a cat who knows what he wants - and when he wants attention he comes and rubs your face with his until you pat him. I was only too happy to help out.

I have a mother's worry for them today - what if the landlord comes in to fix my tub and leaves the door open? What if something falls on them? Irrational worries perhaps - but I just want them to be safe and happy in their new home.

Thanks to Anita, Miss Muppet, Gned, and BumblyBee for raising such wonderful cats!

Day 49: Who Let The Dogs Out?

OK - it's Tuesday morning and time to reflect on a wild 24 hours. Moving Day Sunday may have been a breeze, but Cleaning Day Monday proved anything but.

After a comically busy day at work (Mondays seem to be the worst), I went back to Winch to "grab a few loose ends" still at the place. Well it turns out those loose ends were a full carload of utter crap - including four bags of garbage.

My cleaning skills have always been suspect. I tend to combine doing a shoddy job with obsessively taking forever.

Snowy(panting): So I've cleaned the fridge!
Slippers: Great! (beat) Ummm - why is this pile of feces in here?
Snowy(nervous): I guess I missed that...
Slippers: How long did it take you to clean?
Snowy: Only 3 hours.

Anyways - after spending a few hours cleaning the stove, fridge, vaccuuming, and dusting (I haven't touched the walls or bathroom), I was ready to go - and the place did look better - no more piles of crap! But at that moment came a pounding on the door.

It was my landlord asking if I had left the gate open. I had because I was loading the crap into my car. Well it seems that his dogs had managed to escape from the backyard and had scampered out into the neighbourhood. Now for John, these are not simply dogs - I happen to know that he has a vanity calendar with pictures of his dogs in it (like Glenn and his Emma calendar). As someone with long experience hunting escaped cats, I felt I could help - and I understood how important it was to him to get those damned dogs home.

So I grabbed the leash and dutifully went to hunt some dog. After only 5 minutes he found the first dog - but still no sign of the other. I heard some barking down the street and went to investigate - but the trail was cold. At about 9:10, I realized I would be late for ball hockey and gave Gilman a call to explain the situation. After a spirited talk I hung up my phone, but in the process bobbled it and smashed it on the curb - spilling its guts everywhere. After an intensive search I was unable to locate the little joystick - but did manage to get the rest of it back together.

A short while later, John happily found the other dog. Relieved, I was able to head off to hockey where my team promptly lost every game by increasingly wide margins. Damn you Roggles!

Tonight? I'm going to go home to drink orange juice. I will save the final cleaning for Wednesday night... I am tired and exhausted.

But things are looking up: Chance and Slippers arrive tonight!

p.s. As a public service announcement (with guitars) - I should note that The Apprentice airs Wednesday due to the Presidential Debate. Survivor is still on Thursday.

Day 48: Welcome to Kerrisdale

I moved to Kerrisdale! Hooray! It was a good move - total round trip time of under 4 hours: the TV didn't break and the couch actually fit into the new place. My hissy fits were kept to a minimum and I didn't miss not having hired movers. As for the health of our gang: I haven't heard of any broken backs so I think we did OK. And as a bonus - the Cable Guy came by this morning (between 8 and 10) so I even have internet and TV now.

I admit that I was as skittish as Slippers driving the UHAUL truck home from downtown - and it didn't help that the right side mirror did not stay anchored but floated in the wind (like Kerry's views on the Iraq crisis) as you drove. But you know what? - by the end of the day I was comfortable behind the wheels of the behemoth. When I went back to my car it felt normal, easy, and small and there seemed no particular reason to panic.

Let me send out a special note of thanks to the group of friends (Paul, Dermott, and Peter) that moved me. I think you are the best group of friends that has ever helped another person move. No other group of friends comes close!

Now I have to grab my Tilex, Fantastik, and Mr. Clean and head over to Winch Street to try to de-dirt the accumulating ramblings of these last twelve months of hard-boiled living.

Orange Juice is delicious!

Day 47: September Grinds

Grouse Mountain (Blogger)
September 23, 2004

Thursday morning began with a steady rain as all our mornings do these days. But something wonderful happened at midday - the clouds flew off for distant shores and Old Man Sun came out to say hello. Now the sun is to be feared during a July grind, but in the merry month of September he is a welcome and honoured guest!

The most storied grinder of 2004, Gned the Gnome, left for Oxford on Tuesday and was sorely missed. Our conversations kept hitting dead lulls while we waited for the humorous cry of "Magic Gate already closed at 5:30!" or "Total fest!" (to be uttered on glimpsing the post-grind McDonalds lineup). But despite our grievous loss, we who remained had to make-do.

So who was there?

Why it was Snowy, Gilman, and GAK! Roggles was still enjoying the sights of Toronto and remained absent. Will Roggles do another grind this year? My magic 8-ball (which sometimes talks back to me - no I am not crazy) suggests no!

Enough of the banter - let's get straight to the race!

After last week's close result (where Glenn edged me), I insisted that Glenn and I start at the same time to which he grudgingly agreed. Gilman was concerned about the process of keeping more than one time on his watch (as Glenn and I both have no watches) so we settled on a compromise. If Gilman could tell us the actual time on his watch when we started, then he could use the stopwatch entirely himself. This somewhat settled Gilman's frayed nerves. When we arrived at the hill we discovered the gate of Moria to be shut and a new end time of 5:30 was posted! Didn't see that last week. So I cleverly decided to scale the side slopes, and then walk around to open the gate for the others - only to find that the gate was now open and Glenn and Gilman wondering where I had been. But perhaps this sort of intense warmup would serve me well?

The race began with Glenn setting a slothful Kelly Wilson-esque pace, Gilman setting a mad-gazelle pace, and myself safely in the middle. My plan was to open up a nice lead on Glenn and hopefully never see him again - for I knew that if I did glimpse him in my rearviewmirror, then the race was lost.

After a few minutes of steady climbing, Glenn retreated into the mists below - but I felt strangely compelled to not let my guard down. After about 6 minutes I spotted a shadowy shape in front of me that looked like Gilman. This is a normal occurrence as I often pass "Gned" or "Gilman" only to discover they are 45 year old women with walking sticks carrying children (I don't wear my glasses.) But this time it was no joke: Gilman was standing on the side of the trail complaining that both of his shoelaces had come untied. Gilman - try the double knot! But this glimpse was short-lived, for as soon as Gilman realized in horror that I had almost caught him, he sprinted off to make up for lost time and there was nothing more I could do.

At about the quarter mark, I could see a large fast-moving shape below me - and I felt a shudder - was that Glenn - or was it something else. But who should I see at this very moment?

"Slippers! What a pleasant surprise! What are you doing here?"
"Why hello Snowy! Chance and I are hunting zoogs. In fact I think that you've got one on your tail." Slippers squinted as he gazed down the hill. "Umm - you know that you really shouldn't be out here alone at night - this mountain is not... safe."
"But I've got to finish the climb!"
"OK then - but I suggest you hurry! I don't think you want that thing to catch you."
I paused to argue back - but realized there was nothing else to say - so I proceeded on my way. At this moment I saw Chance dragging a heavy sack - it seems that the two had already snagged a couple of zoogs! The cats of the city would be safe tonight.

As I reached the half-way point, I realized that the zoog had somehow eluded Chance and Slippers and still tailed me. I had a one minute lead on the beast. As I knew that I often faded on the second half, I resolved to not let this happen today. I did not want to perish on the slopes of Grouse! Instead, I found a second gear for the first time in years and managed to completely break away. At the 3/4 mark, I knew the race was won but did not slow down. I knew that a year's best was close at hand.

"6:46:07" shouted Gilman.

"What?" I asked as I reached the top and Gilman repeated his bizarre statement. Eventually I realized that this was the actual time and I needed to do the math to determine my grind time. Since we started at 5:58, this meant that my time was 48:07 - a new year's best!

"Hooray!"

"Did you see Slippers and Chance?" asked Gilman, who told me that his own time was a reasonable 40:21.

"Why yes - what did they say to you?"

"They told me not to worry - that the situation was under control."

Those darned cats! They had scared me with zoog talk just to get me to go faster! But I guess it had worked - so thank you Chance and Slippers!

At this point Glenn scampered home in 50:13. He was happy to improve on the previous week but was disappointed that he hadn't broken 50 minutes. "Next week SnowyCat!" he ominously warned.

"It's too bad the season is so late - it's finally getting interesting!" I declared as Gilman and I returned to his home to watch Survivor/Apprentice.

Later that evening, when BumblyBee returned home, she noticed that Chance and Slippers had not touched their food bowls and seemed unnaturally full and content.

"Where have you two been?"

Slippers and Chance smiled. They like smiling.

Day 46: Chance and Slippers Address Their Critics

It's now C-5 days until I get the cats in my new home. But all is not rosy amongst the three of us. There have been rumblings on the interweb about Chance and Slippers and some of it has even got back to them.

They're a little hurt and have begged for an opportunity to address their critics. I agreed.

But before I give the cats the conch, let me summarize the critics' two main points.

1) Chance and Slippers are cats - and shouldn't talk and act like people.
2) Chance and Slippers are not as clever or interesting as they think they are.

I disagree! But who cares what I think. So without further ado, here they are:
Ladies and Gentlemen, Chance and Slippers.

Slippers: Hi everybody. I'm Slippers and this is my brother Chance.
Chance: Meow! I'd like to give a shout out to Cheesedip.
Slippers: Now some people don't love us and our merry tales. So let me talk directly to you, the skeptic. What is it about our cat-lives that you don't like?
Chance: I think they envy our serenity.
Slippers: Perhaps - or should I say purrrrhaps?
(cats laugh)
Slippers: Anyways - if they see flaws in us - I suggest they look in a mirror.
Chance: Unless they're a vampire!
(cats laugh)
Chance: But I don't care what they think! Do you care?
Slippers: No not really. Nuts to you! Geoffrey - do we have to continue?
Geoffrey: (indistinct mumbling)
Slippers: Well that's the stupidest thing I ever heard. That's it - I'm leaving.
Chance: Goodbye!

Exeunt

Day 45: Lost Time

This next song simply has to be one of my favourites - the haunting and elegiac "Lost Time". It uses some different chords: the unusual Dmaj7add9 and Amaj7add9 - along with my favourite two chords Cmaj7 and Fmaj7.

As usual it's bereft of a strong melody - like a sad train it simply chugs along until it reaches its final unhappy destination.


"Lost Time"

Everything is lost, you say that everything is lost
Even time has stopped, you say that everything is lost
And the snow is melting in the sun
You hold my hand so scared of what's to come

The moments in a day just seem to quickly fade away
A life just disappears in too few months and too few years
The sky grows dim and covers up the sun
The wind is blowing cold through everyone

I guess it's lost time between you and me
I know it's true but I still don't believe
That lost time is all we can see
There's nothing of you and there's nothing left of me

As we board the train the track is glowing in the rain
I look into your eyes to see what I can surmise
Your face reflects my gaze back onto me
I look for you but all I see is me

As the towns roll past, I watch the world out through the glass
And although we talk, it's all been said; I watch the clock
The seats are small, you rest your head on mine
And for the moment everything is fine

But it's lost time between you and me
I know it's true but I still don't believe
Lost time is all we can see
There's nothing of you and there's nothing left of me

As we say goodbye, the birds still sweetly sing nearby
I turn as if to cry, but find that both my eyes are dry
We kiss under the station's orange light
Then walk down separate roads into the night

---

Copyright: Croftonsongs, 2003

Day 44: Childish Behaviour

I journeyed back to Victoria for one day only this past weekend and played a round at Uplands with my father and brother-in-law. It was a sort of homecoming as I had my photo taken for the next club newsletter. Random people would walk up and congratulate me on my victory. I felt 10 feet tall! My dad told me how much of a treat it is to go up to the club because everyone stops him and wants to talk to him too. For a shy guy who secretly craves the respect and admiration of an uncaring world, it has all been a wonderful boost to my ego and confidence.

Anyways - I played well but putted poorly and scored only a 74 (Dad was 90 and Darryl was 95). Ho hum. But what interested me was my reactions and how I handled stress and certain situations. My golf game is pretty good right now and I should be happy as a clam having won the Club Championship - something that I've spent the better part of a decade chasing. But no - I was pretty much the same out there.

I was whiny and irritated by three-putts especially. I don't know if it's because I've been playing golf since childhood and that inside the confines of the game have never properly grown up - but I find that sometimes I can be sulky, petulant, and babyish - and find myself annoyed by my own childish behaviour. It's usually low-key and mostly internal - but when I three-putt I am just not pleasant to be around. When I three-putted 18, I just wanted to pick up the ball and smash it 200 yards into the houses across the street (and you could probably read that on my face). I mean - it's good that I care - but why can't I just have fun and a good laugh in a pleasant Sunday round with my dad and brother-in-law? "It's only golf," you say. I just can't get myself to not care so much! And you have to know that Darryl and my dad must get annoyed by someone getting down on themselves while kicking their butts.

But that's the beauty of golf - you always get a chance to learn more about the dark side of yourself. Non-golfers may scoff, but you duffers out there know what I am talking about.

Day 43: Alabaster Cat

Hi - here's a picture of an alabaster cat.



That is all.

Day 42: Oxford Blues

It is amazing what a difference the weather has on one's mood. I just came in from the great outdoors and it is beautiful today! Bright sun, cool breeze - a nice autumn day. My joy will be complete.

Gned and Miss Muppet leave for Oxford next week where Gned will be attending graduate studies in law. It's a terrible pity for Canada to lose such a great legal brain - and a shame for the people of Canada to lose one of our top people. I myself am sad to see them leave - as they are also my most normal friends - but the pain can be lessened if we can convince them to keep a Ryan-esque travellog of their adventures in the motherland.

Growing up, one of my mum's big dreams for me was for me to go to Oxford. Her father attended - but I don't think he graduated for reasons that were never made clear to me. I know it was a highlight of her trip to the UK to visit Queen's College, his old alma mater. I may be a constant disappointment (she also wanted me to become a geneticist) but I am glad that others are picking up the slack. One day I will come visit the old school - so I hope the spare bedroom is comfortable!


"Slippers Goes to Oxford"

"And the award for best achievement in the field of excellence by a cat or dog goes to..."

Slippers crossed his fingers.

"Slippers J. Cat!"

"Congratulations, old bean."

And Slippers was on top of the world.

Day 41: Ninja Please

Since I had such a great response to my last song posting (Glenn said he enjoyed it), I decided to post another old classic from those heady days of early 2003, when the world was my oyster and I saw a song in everyone and everything.

This piece was actually commissioned to me based on some graffiti reading "Ninja Please" visible behind me in a grainy photograph (if I ever scan the photo it will appear in this blog). We had just watched Peter's sister Jana play an enjoyable show with David P. Smith - who is probably crazy - but certainly a genius. I believe the occasion was Glenn's 33rd birthday - but we had bailed on Glenn and the gang - or had they bailed on us? Time forgets. Doesn't much matter now.

Sometime later I wrote this little ditty and first played it for Sandra over the phone. When listening to old recordings, it sounds primitive and sloppy - what a surprise that I never moved on from that level! Anyways - Paul always seemed to enjoy this one and liked to request it.

The first and last verse go "Em->G->D->A", while the other ones go "D->A->G->D". Very simple. It's a classic example of my style of humour - it initially seems comedic but when you boil it down you realize it's dead serious and there's nothing particularly funny about it except the premise.

"Ninja Please"

In these times of trial
I know what I want, I know what I need
It's the simplest thing
Give me a ninja please

He can fight you for me
Cause he's a real cool fighting machine
I can do the laundry
Or maybe the dishes, iron my shirts

Cause it's not me you're after
A scrap with a ninja would do you more good
I can run away
Just use my ninja please

(musical interlude - aggressive ninja fighting style)

You can punch his belly, pull his hair
Kick my ninja anywhere
Or maybe you can scream and shout
Out all the things you're mad about

Yeah - you can fight him for me
Cause he's a real cool fighting machine
I can run away
Just use my ninja please

And when the fighting's done
And whether you lost, or whether you won
You can tell me all about it
Thank you ninja please

---

Copyright: Croftonsongs, 2003

Day 40: This is the Dream of Slippers and Chance

"This is familiar to me..." said Slippers. He took a quick drink from the new water dish and smelled the cool night air. "This is the fresh air of..."

"Kerrisdale!"

Chance and Slippers smiled. They'd never had problems with vampires, werewolves, or fish-men at Gned's place! Chance eyed the new apartment - it was spacious - they might even have room for cat football.

"I'm gonna miss BumblyBee though," said Chance. "She was the best! The new guy veers a bit to the creepy side of the ledger."

Said new owner was curled up in a ball in the corner of the bedroom muttering under its breath, "Must go and introduce myself to the cats, must go and introduce myself."

So Slippers calmly walked towards it - but this simply scared the skittish human. It leaped in the air, ran into the bathroom, jumped into the tub, and turned on the water: temperature "ice cold".

"Now don't be scared, SnowyCat. We'll help you get through this! You have to face your fears."

The human smiled a wry smile.

"Now where's my dinner?" quested Chance.

The doorbell rang, so Slippers paid the delivery boy a happy tip. By the time he'd turned around, Chance already had his Chef's hat on.

"I am Pizza Cat!"

Slippers rolled his eyes.

Day 39: Nothing More

Some days I feel I have taken a step back from reality and finally see things clearly: the world is as it is. I see what I have locked myself in and wonder "Why?" Why should I not break out? No - the problem is not observation, recognition, or vision - it is action.

I see, but don't act - but why not? What holds me back?

Then comes the fear.

And I retreat.

Anyways - here's a depressing song that I wrote when I was really happy. The chords are simple: A-E-D-A-D-A-E-A.

Note: I'm in a good mood now too in case you're curious... the words are just a moodscape and are not to be taken too literally.


"Nothing More"

I'm tired but I can't sleep
I'm bored but I can't think
I know it's wrong, but it still goes on
How can I set my mind at ease?

The world it isn't right
My skin is on too tight
But where can I go, this I'd like to know
To finally find some peace

The choices we don't make
The chances we don't take
In the end it's true, there's nothing else to do
It's all sliding down the drain

(musical interlude)

There's a fog in front of me
Somehow I can barely see
Though I know the way, I'll stay in today
For how can I escape my brain?

The light it doesn't shine
And voices don't seem clear
I guess there's nothing there, and nothing anywhere
And now all that's left is me

So now the day is done
And all the races run
And so I'll say good night, it was a pretty sight
But there's nothing more to see

(music grows quieter and slowly fades out)

---

Copyright: Croftonsongs, 2003

Day 38: The Rains of Autumn

Gosh - it sure is wet today isn't it? Roofs are great - keep the rain out.

As we all know, this past Saturday was Pie Day. So on Sunday after a stellar 69 at Langara (with a 32 back nine), I did a quick drop-in on Sandra at her jobsite where she had just finished baking approximately 17 pies. I had been invited to the conclusion of Pie Day - and coincidentally the best part: the eating! Sandra was by this late hour understandibly tired from the standing and the peeling and the baking. The pies included blueberry, apple, cherry, banana cream, lemon meringue, and pumpkin - and were delicious! I was happy to help celebrate Pie Day in this small way by eating pie. Happy Pie Day!



My landlord has started showing my old place to prospective tenants so I have to be on my best behaviour. I even cleaned the tub! I feel weirded out at the thought of strangers rummaging through my house - I hope they don't look for those incriminating things under my bed (e.g. that bag of crucifixes, holy water, and wooden stakes).

Day 37: Snowy Cat vs. Gossett

Here is a statistical comparison of rising local amateur Snowy Cat with fading PGA Tour pro David Gossett (who ranks last on tour in several categories).

Scoring Average (Actual):
Gossett 75.09, Cat 75.72
EDGE: Gossett

Greens in Regulation:
Gossett 53.2%, Cat 52.6%
EDGE: Gossett

Putting Average:
Gossett 1.845, Cat 1.863
EDGE: Gossett

Par Breakers:
Gossett 13.0%, Cat 12.5%
EDGE: Gossett

Driving Accuracy:
Gossett 55.3%, Cat 44.8%
EDGE: Gossett

Driving Distance:
Gossett 282.3, Cat 257.8
EDGE: Gossett

Putts Per Round:
Gossett 29.42, Cat 30.26
EDGE: Gossett

Scrambling:
Gossett 49.3%, Cat 41.0%
EDGE: Gossett

Sand Saves:
Gossett 47.8%, Cat 21.9%
EDGE: Gossett

CONCLUSION:
Although some stats were close, it's a clean sweep.
Gossett wins 9-0.


Sources:
PGATour.com
Butlercabin.com

Day 36: A Sunday Visit With Chance and Slippers

This past Sunday, I visted BumblyBee and had a chance to talk to Chance and Slippers. As they will be joining me at my new apartment on October 1st, I wanted to hang out and get to know them better.

The two brothers were in fine form. Chance immediately came out and started chatting with a series of "mrroowwwpp"'s. He enjoyed a good back rub and actually jumped on my lap within seconds while BumblyBee dried her hair. Then Chance had a nice laydown on the carpet.



Slippers proved more elusive. He went to join BumblyBee in the bathroom, but then disappeared from sight. Where was Slippers? BumblyBee eventually found him hiding on the bathtub between the shower curtain and the inner lining. After enjoying the bathroom for a while, Slippers came out and hid in the corner.



Then BumblyBee brought out the cat toys and the two brothers spent most of the time licking the bags and trying to sort out how to open the plastic bag of catnip. We also gave them both a good brushing as their hair seemed to fall everywhere. Chance then took a closer look at my camera phone.



Hooray for Chance and Slippers!

Day 35: Moving Day

October 1st is a date with a long dark history. It will mark the second anniversary of my traumatic layoff from a previous employer. And now it also marks a day when I will be moving not once but twice.

The first move is the long awaited move of our group from the Burnaby office to the Richmond office. With my work moving out of Burnaby, I no longer have any reason to live in Burnaby - but I'm definitely not moving to Richmond - so this means.

On October 1st I will be moving from Burnaby back to Vancouver. I have found a place in Kerrisdale that I am now in negotiations to take (39th and Yew) - so it seems likely I will end up there. It is slightly more expensive than I wanted, but compensates by being:
1) nice
2) big
3) in a nice location
4) cats are OK (Chance and Slippers are you reading this?)
5) I get a parking spot!
6) did I mention that it was nice?

Volunteers to help me move at the end of the month are being accepted at this website.

Day 34: Bourgeoisie Blues

Why do people change?

I used to be obsessed with trivia and though I still enjoy reading the odd atlas, I have definitely lost it.

I used to love playing the guitar and just listening to the sound of a Dm chord - but I don't seem to do this anymore.

But I should not despair. These are not the end days - there is time to take back the night.

While I ponder how best to do this - read on

---

"Chance and Slippers Go To School"

"Why did BumblyBee sign us up for Kindergarten - we're the only cats in here!"

"Wait Chance - there's one other." Slippers pointed over at Whiskers - who looked just as out-of-place as the two brothers did.

At that moment a teacher stormed in and began writing a lesson plan on "Playing With Others" on the blackboard.

"An overhead projector would have been far more efficient," noted Slippers.

"I could use a saucer of milk," muttered Chance.

Slippers nodded and then summed up the predicament, "Cats and classrooms don't mix."

The teacher snarled a wolfy snarl.

"Oh no - not again!" cried Chance and Slippers.

Day 33: Chance Thwarts The Werewolf

Chance and Slippers lay at the end of the bed eyeing the destruction in BumblyBee's living room. Chance licked his paw, washed his face, and then began to speak.

C: "I can't believe that Roggles was a werewolf."
S: "I can't believe that he was such a stupid werewolf!"
C: "What sort of werewolf eats garlic bread?"
S: "I thought that only worked on vampires?"
C: "Do you think he was a vampire?"
S: "What would happen if a vampire bit a werewolf?"
C: "Or if a werewolf bit a vampire? Anyhoo - wouldn't they be friends?"
S: "Not necessarily. I need hardly remind you that not all cats are friends!"
C: "But this does explain his supernatural grind performances..."

At that very moment BumblyBee returned from the gym.

"I think I'm a werewolf too!" she laughed.

And in the next moment: Gilman, Tin-Foiled, and Roggles sat on a log licking their wounds from today's failures.

T: "You should never send a werewolf to do a man's job."
G: "That's a nice man-bag by the way. He he he - man bag - he he he."
R: "Aaarrrrrggghhhh Grrrrrrr!"
T: "Heavens above - what did I do to be cursed with you two?"

Day 32: Slippers And The Werewolf

"What do you want out of this life Slippers?" asked Chance, as he rolled on the fluffy carpet lovingly warmed by the sun.

"I just want to be happy," said Slippers, eyes alert and at the ready.

"Are you happy?" asked Chance, as he rolled on the carpet some more - now feeling toasty warm.

"I think so." Slippers swatted at a passing insect. He missed.

"I know that I am - and do you know how?" Chance cricked his back and continued stretching, the sun warming him.

"No Chance - how?" Slippers swatted at another insect. This time with success. He chewed the bug with three bites, then swallowed.

"There is nothing I regret," and Chance lay down again.

But at the very moment of great insight, the werewolf struck.