Day 95: Everyone is special. No one is special.

"aka The SnowyCat Code: Parts 1-4"

Cursing my bunion through blue flip-flops, I sip Chai Tea, sit back and delight in the features of Firefox. I watch an old copy of "Logan's Run" on a black Toshiba laptop. The Mediterranean waitress flashes me an incongruous smile while serving my buffalo sausages as I pretend to write. Chance and Slippers watch from the window, bellies empty.

Suddenly Glenn bursts into the room clutching pink diamonds and muttering in menacing Finnish. I chuckle breathlessly and ask him what he's talking about. He admits that he has been smoking very strong crack and joins me for a coffee.

I hear a "Bweeg-Bweeg" on my mobile phone - and it is Don. Guess what Auggie has done! As I have to see this, I dash from the cafe leaving Glenn with the bill. He writes a scathing haiku in protest.

As the night air recedes, Gilman appears before me, bathed in shimmering white light and surrounded by all the angels from heaven. They sing 4 Christmas Carols including "Carol of the Bells".

I return home slightly subdued, but thankful. I have my own space now and the world cannot hurt me.

Day 94: See Melanie Play

After a long day of monster watching and child wrangling this past Saturday, I journeyed over to Peter's house for a jam session with Peter, Jeff R., and local recording artist Melanie Dekker.

It had all started back on Wednesday, when after a spirited Earl's dinner with future BC Premier Raj Wirk (the first elected Indo-Canadian premier, he noted), Peter invited me out to catch a Mel gig at a NorthVan coffee shop. We encountered BumblyBee, Cindy, and Dave Young there. As always Mel's show was entertaining - she even added a few new numbers. I took a picture of Melanie playing - but it was dark, my camera doesn't have a flash - and she was facing the wrong way.

Melanie pays tribute to America's wounded soldiers


As readers of this blog are aware, I am a sad high-tech worker with delusions of an inner creative streak - I wished I'd been a writer or musician (or even a journalist) but I never really worked at it. Heck I've never worked at anything - what a waste of human flesh I am... Anyways - the world is full of such types - and they are all pathetic like me. So Peter and I cornered Melanie after the show and forced her to agree to come over to Peter's for a jam session. Well - more accurately Peter did the cornering - I nervously watched to see if she would agree - and she did! She even seemed keen to hear my songs - uh oh - I should have been practicing...

So I brought my guitar over to Peter's and sat down with my songbook next to Jeff R. - who last time we played was learning basic chords and scales. Jeff casually sits down and starts noodling away - and ooops - he's now way better than me.

Eventually Melanie arrived, and I started by showing off my interpretation of her breakaway pop hit "I Said I" which I had worked out based on a viewing of her online video. The cool thing was that she was able to correct some of the chords that I had got wrong (I had the bridge completely wrong for some reason). She also showed me how to do better strumming patterns - I tend to monotonously play the same pattern over and over...

Later on, I tried to play some of my breakaway pop hits, and Melanie actually seemed to enjoy listening to it! The same can't be said for Ana (god bless her) who listened attentively while Melanie played, but went upstairs and cranked her headphones when Peter and I played... can't fault her taste though. Melanie particularly enjoyed "Polly Want a Revolution" - my epic political song that I had basically deemed "meritless" (as did Peter). But lo-and-behold, when Melanie took a turn at it and slowed down the vocals, varied the strumming pattern, and ..ummm sang properly - it sounded pretty good (although we had had a lot of wine by that point). What a cool feeling to hear one of your creations performed by someone who can actually sing and play!

So, I was inspired to pick up my guitar again - and maybe even write new material. It's been a dryspell for too long and I should get back in the game.

Have you ever wondered what I look like first thing in the morning without showering?

Day 93: Welcome to Monstropolis

On Saturday, I joined my sister Laura and her two children, Jack(3) and Amanda(5) for a trip to GM Place to watch Disney/Pixar's Monsters Inc. on ice. This was the first time that Jack and Amanda had been to Vancouver - so that was a big deal. They were huge fans of the movie Monsters Inc. - so that was a big deal. They had never been to an ice show or big stadium - so that was a big deal. They had never been on a ferry - so that was a big deal. Jack got to see some planes come into Vancouver airport on the way there - so that was a big deal. Anyways, you get the idea - it was a big day all around (and for Laura too)!



I had seen the movie Monsters Inc. previously (at Laura's house) - and I can tell you that it is one of the best of the children's movies - better than Finding Nemo and Shrek - and almost as good as Toy Story 2! As for the ice show spectacular itself, it consisted of telling the plot of the movie with little sketches and the odd song and dance routine thrown in. They were showmen, and didn't show Sully, Mike, or Boo right away (which led Jack to ask "where's Sully?"). Some routines included the monsters doing "9 to 5", the CDA (Child Detection Agency) workers doing a techno-ish "Going Out of My Head", and an extended winter scene with human ice skaters dancing to Winter Wonderland (in the part where Sully and Mike get banished). There were lots of cool effects with doors coming down from the rafters, and the monsters scaring everyone - including me!

Laura, Amanda, and Jack pose with Boo, Boo, and Mike


Afterwards, we asked Amanda and Jack what their favourite part was and they both agreed it was "The part with Boo". (Boo is the little girl in the movie). She wears a monster costume at one point in a disguise attempt - and the doll comes with the costume. That was pretty cool. Laura bought Jack a Boo doll and Amanda a Mike doll - but Amanda coveted Boo so much she had to buy a second Boo doll (and a Sully doll too to keep the numbers even). Of course this meant there was only one Sully and one Mike - so Amanda kept pointing out on the way home "No mommy - I really, really want Sully" when it was Jack's turn with Sully. Sometimes Amanda can get hyper-focused on something and won't take no for an answer. In the White Spot restaurant she needed a pink crayon so she could draw Boo - but they didn't have any, so she just kept asking for one. She needed that pink crayon - and no substitute would do. Amanda is a gifted artist - definitely better than me (but that doesn't say too much I'm afraid...).

After all the excitement, they could't stay in Vancouver for too long, so I took them back for the 5PM ferry - but not before they got to meet Chance and Slippers (they have a beloved cat Cheesedip). Slippers actually saw the kids coming and was under my brown chair within 3 seconds, but Chance stuck around and enjoyed the extra attention.

Jack and Boo chat with Chance


I wish they could have stayed longer, but I hope to see them soon again in the great monstropolis of Vancouver - and maybe they can bring Jade and Paige with them next time!

Happy Birthday on Dec. 3rd to Laura - you are a wonderful mom and a great sister!

Day 92: Dizzy Day

Here is the first song I ever wrote way back in 2002 and is another one for you completists. Unfortunately it reads like the first song someone would have written, and is not a great song by anyone's standards - but what greatness it does have are certainly not in its wooden, pedestrian, derivative lyrics.

The only true Crofton flourish is that I say "talking with the dog" and not the more conventional "talking to the dog". Anyone who has seen my conversations with Chance and Slippers understands the distinction.

It's a basic chord sequence with E, A, and B - but an occasionally clever Aadd9.


"Dizzy Day"

It's a dizzy day
Love has come to say
Stumbled on my home
Happy here to roam

It's a dizzy day
In every single way
Stars shine in the night
Everything's all right

How did things go right this time?
How will I get it right next time?
Guess I'll never know
Secrets they won't show

It's a dizzy day
Love has gone away
Left me on my own
Staring at the phone

It's a dizzy day
In every stupid way
Sitting on a log
Talking with the dog

How did things go wrong this time?
How will I get it right next time?
Guess I'll never know
Wait until tomorrow


---

Copyright: Croftonsongs, 2002

Day 91: Warmth of the Sun

Hello friends. I haven't posted an original song on this blog in a while - mostly because I've already posted all the good ones (note the new link on the right to "Snowy's Songs" - try it out - it works!). But for you completists, here's an early favourite "Warmth of the Sun". This can also act a response to critics who find my lyrics dark and depressing. Well this one has lighter subject matter - really light - hey it's the sun - what could be brighter than that? In actual fact, many of my songs are about the sun (including the yet to be posted but much-maligned "Sunshower"). Why this is so is a subject for you amateur psychologists out there.

I don't remember the chord sequence for WOTS but I suspect it's C, G, D, Am - with the occasional Em. All your old favourites! Also note that I've reverted the last line to the ending in my original 4-song demo tape - cause hey why not?

Here we go!


"Warmth of the Sun"

I used to be a simple man
With simple thoughts and simple plans
But everything can change on any day
So I packed things up and put them away
I never really liked them anyway
Cause now I've found a reason to go on

Cause I felt the warmth of the sun today
It surprised me in a most unusual way
It had been so cold I couldn't see
Anything there waiting for me
But I now I feel the warmth of the sun

When I see you smile and laugh at the things
That sometimes our misfortune brings
I have to shake my head and ponder why
For a girl like you and a boy like me
Things will never be easy
But now we've found a peaceful easy calm

And I felt the warmth of the sun today
It surprised me in a most unusual way
It had been so cold I couldn't see
Anything there waiting for me
But now I've found a reason to carry on

---

Copyright: Croftonsongs, 2003

Day 90: Skating away on the thin ice of the new day

I went ice skating with Peter, Ana, and Rick yesterday at the Kerrisdale Arena - a mere 175 metres from my house. I had only skated once in these last 12 years (with BumblyBee, RL, and ThePirate - whom I seem to recall being good? My memory is playing tricks on me again). It was a great deal of fun - and I have to admit that Ana was cute as a button out there. She is quite graceful and skilled but overly-cautious and liked to hug the boards the whole time. Me? I'm neither graceful nor skilled - but I pretend I know what I am doing and zoom around anyway.

Unfortunately I can't turn, stop, or skate backwards - so I have a long road ahead of me if I want to get better. And I want to get better because Peter has recently started playing ice hockey and has petitioned me to join their team next fall: their squad could use a natural goal scorer like myself. I have accepted and must prepare myself for the moment of truth in September.

Peter and I like to relate our skills at other sports to golf scores as a yardstick that we understand. So at hockey, Peter figures he can now shoot about 100 - which isn't bad really. But by his standards - I can't break 100 at the pitch&putt - and wouldn't be allowed on a full-size course.

But how you play doesn't matter - it's whether you enjoy yourself. And I enjoyed myself immensely - so I'll be back.

Day 89: Some Notes on Ukraine

If I were to ask you what has been the most important election of the last month - you might think it was the American Election. You would be wrong, as the controversy now brewing in Ukraine threatens to engulf that struggling nation and change forever the relationship between the west and the old Soviet Union.



This past weekend, pro-Russian candidate Viktor Yanukovych (not to be confused with Weird Al) defeated pro-European candidate Viktor Yushchenko by a margin of 49.4-46.7%. Russian autocrat Vladimir Putin immediately phoned to congratulate Yanukovych. However, the opposition as well as outside observers noted massive fraud in pro-Russian eastern regions (some reported 96% turnout) and have refused to accept the results. Even the US noted the irregularities, and the special envoy, Republican Senator Richard Lugar, has warned that relations may be seriously affected.

The loser, Yuschenko, has now declared himself president and civil war may be looming as 200,000 of his supporters have gathered in central Kiev. What happens in the next 48 hours may decide the fate of the country.

This divide in Ukraine is an old and deep division. Western regions of the country like Lviv (which were part of the old Austro-Hungarian empire) are more European, more Ukranian and less Russian. These are the strongholds of the Ukranian language and the pro-independence movement. The eastern regions, however, are predominantly Russian speaking and feel very close ties to Russia and the old Soviet Union. These regions are proud of their close relationship with Russia - and like to think of Ukrainians as "Little Russians" and are not enthused about independence.

But what is really important in this current crisis is not Ukraine but the old evil empire itself: Russia. Russian President Putin has been a firm and loyal ally of George W. Bush in the "War on Terror" (he has his own situation with Islamists in Chechnya) and has used the "state of high terror" as an excuse to roll back the civil liberties introduced in the not-much-loved period of democracy under Yeltsin. The influential newspapers and TV stations are now state controlled - but no one minds. Putin is actually quite popular because he is considered to be virtuous and strong (he doesn't even drink!) - and the Russians miss being taken seriously by the rest of the world. So they have shrugged their shoulders and accepted a creeping sovietization of the country. Putin's hero is former KGB (and Soviet) head Andropov - and Putin is doing his best to emulate him - staffing his office mostly with former KGB men. The Soviet Union is coming back - but they're being quiet about it and won't try to interfere with capitalism this time - and as a result - it will be around for good.

For it is folly to think that people truly care about liberty, freedom, and abstract enlightenment ideals - they care about their bank account and their stomachs. And they like to kill terrorists. As in the US, so in Russia.

But Ukraine is today's crisis. It will be interesting to see which side prevails. If Putin is given a black eye - then expect the Russians to become even more surly and sullen. But if Putin wins - then expect the Russians to become even more aggressive in Eastern Europe. I hope the good guys triumph - but I fear for Ukraine's future no matter which way things play out.


---
(Read what the BBC has to say here.)

Day 88: Gas City Cats 7: The Collapse of Reason

Gned raised a glass of mead and proposed the first toast. Slippers waited on the floor beside Gilman as the heroes dined, awaiting some chicken scraps. Chance rested by the fire, dreams of fresh seafood in his head. His tail wagged excitedly as his fishing expedition ventured into ever deeper waters.

"To our great victory! May the world remain safe for all time!"

"Hear Hear!" said Gilman.

Gned and Gilman downed their mead with hearty smiles. It had been a difficult, exciting, and exhausting final victory over BumblyBee and Muppet - but they had been up to the challenge and the world was safe again.

"It is a shame that Geoffrey was killed in battle," sighed Gned, "and right before the final victory." Slippers excitedly ate a large piece of chicken from Gilman - who seemed as excited giving Slippers the meat as Slippers was to receive it.

"Yes - but these are acceptable losses," reasoned Gilman. "And all the super villains are all now safely in the Medicine Hat Dungeon. So I say we should look on the bright side - Chance and Slippers get to stay with me now! What could be better for them? What could be better for me?"

"We love you Uncle Gilman!" said Slippers. Chance somehow meowed a response of "Gilman!" from deep within his slumber. All was turning out for the best!



Gas City Cats: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Day 87: Gas City Cats 6: The Folly of TinFoiled

Lightning and thunder filled the skyline of Medicine Hat as the ceremony neared its unholy end. The great wizard, TinFoiled, smiled from ear to ear as he shut his eyes in near-trance and shouted at the heavens: "Come Shag-oorak, great goddess of night - accept these two sacrifices and blacken our world! Let your reign begin anew! Come! Come! Hear your servant's cries!"

The sky crackled in a cacophony of light and sound. The feline prisoners watched from above in growing horror.

After a few moments of gathering tension, Chance looked at Slippers and spoke, "We can wait no longer - you must act now!" Slippers nodded to his brother, then leaped majestically through the air. He flew for quite some time until...

"What the...?" said a startled TinFoiled as 11 pounds of feline fury landed smack on his head. After a short struggle, TinFoiled was subdued. Chance then leapt down, gracefully landing on TinFoiled's belly. The two brothers surveyed the scene and laughed at TinFoiled. The sky was growing sunny and warm.

"Well - I hope that teaches you a lesson, Mr. Foiled. Don't meddle with forces you're not in control of."

"And never underestimate a cat."

TinFoiled grimaced.

"But why did we wait so long, brother? We should have stopped this sooner," asked Chance as they tied up TinFoiled.

"Well - I was curious to see what he was up to. I like a good show as much as the next cat. But let's get out of here!"

Roggles saw what was happening from the watchtower and foolishly tried to run away. But the henchman was as quickly subdued and tied up as his master had been.

"Into the dungeon with you two!"

"Now we must rescue the rescuers from the torments down below. I only hope it is not too late."

BumblyBee smiled in her hive of horror - for it was already too late.

"The pain begins now."



Gas City Cats: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Day 86: Our World

We've recently put up a large map of the world near the cafeteria, and the idea is for people to put a flag where they were born. This clearly shows the multicultural nature of our company. I didn't have a chance to put my green flag in Halifax N.S. because they ran out.

Our World


So far the medal count is China 11, Canada 8, Finland 4, Iran 3 - but these are only early returns. We'll see if Canada can eke out a victory in the long run.

As a high-tech worker, I am used to dealing with people from all sorts of places, and the notion of immigrants being some sort of "minority" seems quite laughable here: immigrants far outnumber the "native-born" - and English is increasingly a minority language for lunchroom conversation. Now as the son of a poor Indian immigrant, I am certainly a multiculturalist by nature - but I dislike reading emails from people who cannot spell or follow grammar rules obvious to an 8 year old. English is detereorating into a pidgin form in my high-tech world and I lament its passing! I think it's fine to use your native tongue - but if and only if you are a fluent English speaker. If not? You should practice more.

Now when looking at the map, I am surprised when people don't know where countries are. For example, I'll be talking to Marian about his native Slovakia and someone will say "Where's Slovakia?" I have to roll my eyes - is this a joke? Do you not know its capital Bratislava just down the Danube from Vienna? Are you not familiar with its "Velvet Divorce" from The Czech Republic and the troubled rule of Vladimir Meciar? Do you not know about its ongoing tensions with the Roma (or Gypsy) minority? Are you oblivious to the world around you? But then I remember that I am an insane Economist devotee and some people are proud of their pig-headed ignorance.

And get this... I have some Serbian on my white board (simple phrases to communicate with my cubiclemates) - and people stop by and think it's Finnish! People sure are stupid.

Day 85: Dad

My mum got a posting last week, so my dad gets equal time.

My dad is a wonderful yet reluctant public speaker. He's more in the Nixon than Clinton style (as am I, I confess) - which means someone who connects to people through hard work, dedication, and preparation rather than some natural ability to bond effortlessly. He's given speeches his whole life and I know that he doesn't much enjoy it! I've seen him nervously prepare himself (e.g. for weddings) for hours - and then when it comes time to speak - he delivers a knockout presentation in a confident, formal, but deadpan funny and utterly charming way.

To the greatest public speaker of our time - my dad!

"Happy Birthday Dad!"

Here's a link to the DOE website.

Day 84: Gas City Cats 5: The Love Below

From within her hive of power, BumblyBee watches the three intruders navigate the city's labyrinthine sewer system. Roggles vainly scans the horizon for an above-ground assault - but there is no one about. Deep down below, the heroes round a sharp corner, and BumblyBee's eyes perk up - for she knows what awaits them.

"The dreaded Aramathean Basilisk!" shouts Gned. "Run Gilman Run!" The escape proves narrow this time, but Gned is pensive: "What other horrors await us in our doomed quest to save Chance and Slippers?"

Meanwhile, TinFoiled glares at the cats as they wash themselves - a difficult task in the midst of flying dust and debris. "Enjoy your sanity while you can," he admonishes.

Slippers remains calm and whispers in Chance's ear, "When the time comes, brother."

TinFoiled begins chanting under his breath in a language the cats do not know, and the sky grows gradually darker and colder. "These are the end times, Slippers!"

...

"This way Gilman!" urges Gned as they round another corner, basilisk still snarling in the darkness behind them. "I can see the lights of the city above! We must make it through that manhole! Hurry Gilman!"

"Not so fast," says a soft-spoken muppety voice.

The three freeze in fear. The quest seems over!

"Heavens above! What are you doing here?"

Gned knows that battle is useless against this, their greatest opponent. Escape is the only option!

"There is no way out, Gned."

"Criminy!" Battle it would be.



Gas City Cats: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Day 83: Gas City Cats 4: The Gates of Hell

"We must defend the city against the intruders!" shouts Roggles as he stands high atop the Medicine Hat City Wall eyeing the three hapless rescuers parked on the side of the road staring up at him. Chance and Slippers watch the siege from atop a lonely stone pillar. TinFoiled sprinkles strange powder at each of the power points of his pentagram and begins a sinister incantation.

"Don't worry about them," says TinFoiled. "We've got all hell for a basement to unleash on them if necessary - and believe me - it won't be necessary."

Far below the maelstrom, Gned gazes resolutely at the sentinel. "There must be a way - there is always a way."

"I'm scared and I want to go home."

"Quiet Geoffrey! Your cats are depending on you - you must be strong!" and as Gned becomes silent, they can hear Chance's plaintive meowing.

"Oh Chancey - I'm a-coming!"

"Fools! Let them come. Let them all come! More sacrifices for the old ones," cackles TinFoiled, and a milky green haze rises from the toes on his feet.

Gilman starts to wriggle alarmingly. But Gned has a sixth sense for these things and knows this signals something important. "What is it Gilman?"

"The sewers! We must attack from below! Let the muddy waters be our salvation!"

"Gentlemen - we're going to the sewers!"

"They're running away!" shouts Roggles - characteristically unperceptive.

"No Roggles," comes a powerful new voice - a woman of indeterminate age with a shock of red hair. "They seek another way. But they will not find it. I have many friends from below waiting for them. They will not enter the gates of the city."

"Moo-ha-ha-ha-ha!" laughs TinFoiled as he walks away from his pentagram. Slippers and Chance hold each other in a shared sense of terror.

"The preparations are now complete. We may begin."



Gas City Cats: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Day 82: Reunions

On Wednesday night, straight from the coasts of Bolivia came a name from the not too distant past: La Rubia Maravillosa. Rubia took a Spanish class with Roggles and me all those many years ago and unlike the two of us, actually used that knowledge and lived in Spain for two years!

Rubia and Roggles welcome you to Vancouver!


I had met up with Rubia during my brief trip to Barcelona in 2002, but Roggles hadn't seen her in almost 4 years - so they had a lot of catching up to do. In between the pitchers of Sangria, we dined at Topangas (near Roggles's old Bayswater house) and traded tall tales of worldly adventures, glittering successes, and inspiring failures. I was certainly bested in the jetsetting department by my more worldy companions. Among other adventures these past 4 years, Rubia worked for a non-profit in Washington (where she attended the First Bush Inauguration and experienced the fallout from 9/11), received an MBA in Barcelona, worked in Geneva, and summered in Tuscany. But she's back working at UBC and has come to appreciate all that Vancouver is and is not. I might liken her perspective to Samwise Gamgee returning to the Shire at the close of Return of the King, but that would be far too geeky.

Roggles and I also spoke of our merry adventures these past four years - and as Roggles has had his fair share of joy and woe, Rubia and I sat engrossed on the edge of our seats - even though I already knew how his story ends.

But life is for the living - and there are plenty more adventures to be had. Live well!

Rubia and Jefe wish you all the best in your travels!


Adios!

Day 81: Gas City Cats 3: The Sins of Gilman

A darkened room. Three figures. The first, a pale aquatic figure, is strapped down in a brown armchair. The second, a diminuitive man with a pointy hat, smokes a pipe and walks around the chair brandishing a weapon of some sort. The third man is unremarkable, and lurks in the darkness saying nothing. The three are all bathed in sweat.

The small man breaks the silence with a roar, and then begins the interrogation.

"Why did you do it Gilman?" He gently slaps the prisoner's face.

Gilman smiles weakly - but says nothing. The gnomish interrogator steps back, takes a short puff on his pipe, and repeats the question. Gilman does not respond.

"Take this!" Gned spears Gilman in the abdomen with his cricket bat. The third figure looks away in fear and disgust.

"Where are the cats?"

"Gilman does not know!" shrieks the prisoner as he endures another blow from the bat. Gilman weeps but repeats himself, "Gilman swears he does not know!"

Gned pokes Gilman again and continues the questioning.

"What were you buying in that store - that horrible haunt of unimaginable iniquity?" Gilman is again silent and nervously eyes his backpack. Gned walks towards the knapsack, and reaches over to open it. At this threatened action, Gilman screams, and vainly tries to stop Gned, but Gned opens the bag and its contents spill out.

"Diamond Leashes?"

"Presents for the kitties!" shrieks Gilman.

"Presents!" shouts Geoffrey, now entering the light. "But why, Gilman?"

"Gilman needs money. So much money. Gilman never has enough money. But now Gilman has money. Money to make the kitties happy!"

"Happy? I don't think so. Where are they?"

"The strange man wanted them - why he wants them - Gilman does not know. But Gilman wants his cats back - he misses them so. Gilman wants to play again in the park with his good friends Chance and Slippers."

Gned and Geoffrey exchange glances. Gilman hadn't really thought his plan through.

"But who? And why?"

"Hold it Gned - I think I already have the answer. Gilman, let me ask you this. Did the man have a vaguely French accent?"

"Yes!!!"

"And did his car have Alberta plates?"

"Why yes!!!!"

"What does it mean?" asks Gned.

"Gilman. Gned. Pack your bags. We're going to the Gas City."



Gas City Cats: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Day 80: Gas City Cats 2: The Chase Is On

Chance and Slippers sat calmly in the cramped carrying case as TinFoiled raced eastwards down the #1. Still groggy from the drugs, they observed the damp BC countryside rolling by their foggy window.

"He means to take us to Medicine Hat," observed Slippers. Chance nodded.

TinFoiled cackled menacingly as a ruddy passenger eyed the two felines with sinister, beady eyes.

"I hope these cats have what we're looking for?" he asked/stated.

TinFoiled smiled a particularly evil smile.


Back at Montrose...

"Hello boys! I'm home! Boys??? Slippers? Where are you Chance???" Geoffrey dropped his McFlurry when he realized that there would be no feline greeting today. The innocent, pleading meows of Chance and the startled exasperation of Slippers in an unfamiliar place filled his head as he imagined their growing plight. Each second took them farther away from home - from him - and in an unknown direction. His eyes swelled as he prepared to cry. But no! He found some hint of inner strength and punched the wall instead, then declared in his best approximation of manful resolve:

"I must find Gilman and determine what manner of hellish mischief he is up to!"


Meanwhile...

In a shunned part of the city, Gilman pores through pawn shops, his ill-gotten silver clenched firmly in his cold, dead hand.



Gas City Cats: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Day 79: Gas City Cats 1: Catnapped!

It had a been a long hard day of DVD watching at Montrose Apartments - but Gilman, Chance, and Slippers had finally made it through "24 - Season One". As a trusted friend of the brothers, Gilman had secured access to the apartment and its catwatching duties while the regular owner was off golfing, shopping, or something - Gilman had forgotten the exact details.

"Oh Gilman - you are our very best friend," declared Chance as he feasted on a bulging bowl of "Seafood Supreme".

"Munch Munch! Yes! Munch Munch!" replied Slippers - already eyeing Chance's bowl.

"Eat well my kitties! Eat well! Oh - and sleep well too..."

THUMP! THUMP!

With bewildered looks on their faces, the two cats slumped into their half-eaten meals, never to be finished.

The cats were quickly whisked into their small carrying case and Gilman was away. He locked the apartment door, cackled evilly, and walked down the street to where a rented Peugot was parked. Gilman slid the cage into the back and crawled inside.

"Excellent work, Gilman!" said the shadowy figure in the front. "Here is your payment - exactly as agreed upon!" The man took 30 pieces of silver out of his manbag and delivered them to Gilman, who greedily grabbed the coins and leaped away down the lonely alley.

And the van drove off into the night.



Gas City Cats: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Day 78: If You See An Alligator

This past weekend I visited the family home in Victoria to celebrate my mum's birthday (Nov. 12) and my dad's birthday (Nov. 19). I must send a special thanks to Sandra for looking after Chance and Slippers in my absence - they were well fed and content (but happy to see me) on my return. I was only gone for 36 hours - but still found I really missed the little guys. Cats are great!

On Saturday afternoon after returning on a packed ferry - Dad, Darryl, Pat McCarthy, and I had a fun game in the gray gloom up at Uplands. My dad's score wasn't very good - but we were able to win a close match against Pat/Darryl nonetheless. The two of us played again on Sunday - and my dad showed his considerable character by improving by 12 shots and holing out twice from off the green (with his putter of course) - and besting me just when I was starting to be overconfident. I shot 73 both days and have to admit that I played quite well - just didn't make enough putts. Excellent November golf all in all - but I can't wait until spring comes.

Everyone gathers for a KFC dinner.


GPC poses with all the kids.


For dinner on Saturday, Darryl, Jenny, Dermott, Mum, Dad, Jade, Paige, Amanada, Jack (and me) all gathered for KFC and gingerbread. Laura couldn't make it because she was working - but I will see her and her kids when they come over for "Monsters Incorporated on Ice" at GM Place on November 27th. The KFC was a hit - the kids particularly enjoyed the popcorn chicken. After dinner, instead of a birthday cake, Dermott and the kids had made a gingerbread house which we decorated with 4 candles and ate - it was delcious!

Amanda and Paige showcase the gingerbread house.


Jade poses for the camera.


Jack is going through a very serious ghost fixation, so after dinner he put on a shawl and helmet and danced around scaring everyone. Jade, Amanda, and Paige held onto me tightly as we all shook in horror from Ghost Jack - though sometimes he would take off the helmet and assure us that he was "Just Jack". He also boistrously danced and sang the "When You're Smiling" song that a ghost toy of his sings when you pull its cord. Happy Halloween!

Ghost Jack scares us all.


The kids loved playing with my camera phone and were curious to see themselves in the pictures that I took. The pictures of one kid are usually best - as it is impossible to get 4 kids to stay still long enough to all appear properly in a shot! Child photographers definitely earn their pay.

Paige/Amanda/Jack/Jade pose with their gingerbread house.


Another fun activity that they enjoy is going down into my room, and turning on a strobe light while they dance on my bed and sing this song:

"Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream.
If you see an alligator,
Don't forget to scream!
AAAAHHHH!!!"

Eventually the night ended (at about 7:30 actually - Victoria Time seems to be a couple hours ahead of Vancouver Time) and everyone went home to their tozy beds.

Mum and Dad reflect on another birthday!

Day 77: Mum

Well - it is of course Dave Kubrak's birthday today - but it is also my Mum's birthday. I'm going back to Victoria tomorrow morning to celebrate - and we've arranged a 5:30 KFC banquet with all the kids and grandkids. This may sound crazy - but it is our traditional Mum's Birthday Dinner - and who are you to suggest otherwise? Also - if you can eat KFC every few months or so - it is a welcome complement to a balanced diet. The fried chicken, hamburgers, and pizza need to be in perfect balance to maintain optimal health. Hmmm - I do seem to be eating a lot of fast food since I moved to Kerrisdale - must remember to buy a pot and pan.

In completely unrelated news, I am putting on weight again. This is a minor source of stress as I like being svelte and trim and have people notice my beautiful figure. I sometimes can gain the odd 10 pounds and conceal it ok - because it goes straight to my belly and if I can wear a loose sweater (and avoid sports) none can see. But it catches up with you in the end. I must learn the art of self-discipline.

"There are many things that are conditional in this world, but a mother's love is not among them."
- Happy Birthday Mum!

Day 76: Cold Blooded

I often have issues with temperature that others ignore or take for granted. For example, I would never consider wearing only a short-sleeved shirt indoors, because I find room temperature freezing without long sleeves. But some wear T-shirts and shorts and think everything is fine!

But the worst area is usually my hands. They are ice to the touch - and come November my trusty gloves never stray far from me - sometimes I even wear them indoors when I cannot otherwise get warm. And a handshake with me is a cold and clammy experience you will not soon forget (however much you'd like to).


So against this background, my manager stopped in to take a poll of our work group in an effort to get the ambient temperature of the office turned down - she termed our workarea as "A Sauna". I had to recommend against the proposal and certainly don't find it as such. In fact my hands felt cold as she suggested this.

What manner of medical ailments do I suffer from? Could a steady diet of McDonalds be somehow to blame? I think it is time I ditched the clown and learned the value of fresh vegetables.

Day 75: 100000 Years of Roggles

All about our fair city, folks gather at large and small parties to celebrate one man: Roggles. His portrait hangs in every doorway, darkening it. Whiskey is drunk, foolish bets are lost and won, happy songs are tossed and sung, while parents and neighbours watch midly displeased - thoughts of "Oh That Roggles" nimbly dancing through their pulsing brains. But Roggles does not join his fans. Not this year. He walks placidly amid the noise and haste listening only to the sound of his own heart beating. He returns home to his modest pad and sits down on a broken wicker chair. He turns the lights down low and pumps the stereo up high. The air fills with the music of a lifetime - his lifetime! And what a lifetime it's been.


This candid photo of Roggles is courtesy of Nutmilk

Let's listen...

1972: Chuck Berry: "My Ding-a-ling"
1973: Jim Croce: "Bad Bad Leroy Brown"
1974: Mike Oldfield: "Tubular Bells"
1975: Barry Manilow: "Mandy"
1976: John Sebastian: "Welcome Back"
1977: Abba: "Dancing Queen"
1978: The Ramones: "I Wanna Be Sedated"
1979: Kenny Rogers: "The Gambler"
1980: Olivia Newton John: "Xanadu"
1981: Kool and The Gang: "Celebration"
1982: Christopher Cross: "Arthur's Theme"
1983: Styx: "Mr. Roboto"
1984: Laura Branigan: "Self Control"
1985: Baltimora - "Tarzan Boy"
1986: Falco - "Rock Me Amadeus"
1987: Europe - "The Final Countdown"
1988: Roman Grey - "IBU"
1989: Young MC - "Bust a Move"
1990: New Kids On The Block - "Step by Step"
1991: Tesla - "Signs"
1992: Sir Mix-a-lot "Baby Got Back"
1993: Tag Team: "Whoomp! (There It Is)"
1994: Enigma "Return to Innocence"
1995: Scatman John: "I'm the Scatman"
1996: Collective Soul "The World I Know"
1997: Hanson "MMMBop"
1998: Will Smith: "Gettin' Jiggy With It"
1999: Britney Spears "...Baby One More Time"
2000: Bloodhound Gang: "The Bad Touch"
2001: Shaggy f/ Ricardo Ducent: "It Wasn't Me"
2002: Elvis/JXL: "A Little Less Conversation"
2003: 50 Cent: "In Da Club"
2004: Kalan Porter: "Awake In a Dream"

Happy Birthday Roggles!

Day 74: My Personality Disorder Test

Hi! I have lots of personality disorders. How many do you have?

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

I may/do have personality disorders - but I don't necessary think you are schizoid because you like spending time alone... but I enjoy online tests!
- The Editor

Day 73: Through Chance's Eyes

I was in a bit of a panic yesterday evening because Chance seemed to have poked his right eye or infected it somehow. He was not the least bit concerned about it and went running about chasing his catnip mouse, purring loudly, and meowing pathetically as always. But his eye was watering pretty nicely and he certainly preferred to keep it safely shut. I thought "Could Chance lose vision in one eye?"

After consulting with my friends and family (with suggestions ranging from "let it heal itself", "take him to a vet immediately", to "put some drops in his eyes") - I decided to wait and monitor his progress by the morning.

Well - morning came and his eye seemed much better - he was keeping it open and didn't seem too bothered by anything. So I'm following the "do nothing" approach - and hope I don't regret it.

But I do worry about him (like any other mother would) now that I am here helpless at work. I left instructions with Chance for him to call me if there was a worsening in his condition. Though he has no phone, I think he should be able to work the computer (if he remembers to ask Slippers for help). I should have taken a personal day today.

Day 72: Election Aftermath

So George W. Bush has been reelected by the good people of the USA. Rats. There's already a lot of hand-wringing amongst the leftist intelligentsia. I'd prefer to say that it was a close vote - and after 4 more years of Bushism, we'll get them next time.

Gilman realizes that Bush will carry Florida.



Ana realizes that Bush will carry Ohio.


There is a lot of talk about how the "liberal Democrats" didn't understand the "values" of the heartland. I don't like this development because these liberal values are the values of the enlightenment (freedom of speech, freedom from torture, separation of church and state, the individual's right to the pursuit of happiness) - and these are my values! Am I out of touch with America?


Peter realizes there will be four more years.


But enough about the election - let's talk turkey dinner!

I took the day off work (always a good idea!) and finally made my "Thanksgiving Tournament Turkey" to celebrate the election - and a few guests came over to help celebrate. Peter brought potatoes, stuffing, and vegetables - but did have to go home to pick up pots and pans (I don't seem to have any right now). They would also ask strange questions like "Do you have a potato masher" which made me smile. I don't have a frying pan - do you think I have a potato masher?


Chance stops watching the results and takes a nap whilst Snowy despairs.


The turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing and vegetables were delicious - though Chance again refused to eat poultry. Later on he even was sick at the defeat of his man, John Kerry - and did it right on my Economist. (Truth be told - it could have been Slippers as I didn't see them do it).


Chance/Slippers has the last word on the Bush Presidency.


Wait till 2008!
- s

Day 71: Election Predictions

Feel free to post your prediction on the US Presidential Election as a comment on this blog (or email me directly). I will append all comments and emails to this main posting until 7PM EST when the first polls close.

I list solid Kerry states, solid Bush states, and toss-up states. You are welcome to switch "solid states" if you want - but if not - you need only pick the toss-up states..

I have assigned these 27 states to Bush (227 electoral votes)
SOLID: AL 9, AK 3, AZ 10, GA 15, ID 4, IN 11, KS 6, KY 8, LA 9, MS 6, MT 3, NC 15, NE 5, ND 3, OK 7, SC 8, SD 3, TN 11, TX 34, UT 5, WY 3
LIKELY: AR 6, CO 9, MO 11, NV 5, VA 13, WV 5

I have assigned these 13 states (and 1 district) to Kerry (186 electoral votes)
SOLID: CA 55, CT 7, DE 3, IL 21, MD 10, MA 12, NY 31, RI 4, VT 3, DC 3
LIKELY: ME 4, NJ 15, OR 7, WA 11

There are 10 swing states
FL 27, HI 4, IA 7, MI 17, MN 10, NH 4, NM 5, OH 20, PA 21, WI 10

Here are the predictions so far:
GPC:
Kerry: MI, MN, NH, PA, WI, HI, NM = 257
Bush: FL, IA, OH = 281
WINNER: BUSH

Peter:
Kerry: MI, MN, NH, PA, WI, HI, NM, FL, IA = 291
Bush: OH = 247
WINNER: KERRY

Dermott:
Kerry: MI, MN, OH, PA, HI = 258
Bush: FL, IA, NH, WI, NM = 280
WINNER: BUSH

Mum:
Kerry: MI, MN, NH, PA, WI, HI, NM, OH = 277
Bush: FL, IA = 261
WINNER: KERRY

Dad:
Kerry: IA, OH, MI, NH, HI = 238
Bush: FL, MN, PA, WI, NM = 300
WINNER: BUSH

Gilman:
Kerry: IA, MI, MN, NH, HI, WI, NM = 243
Bush: FL, OH, PA = 295
WINNER: BUSH

Slippers and Chance (joint prediction):
Kerry: FL, OH, PA, IA, MI, MN, NH, HI, WI, NM = 311
Bush: none = 227
WINNER: KERRY

Ana:
Kerry: FL, PA, MI, MN, NH, HI, WI, NM = 284
Bush: OH, IA = 254
WINNER: KERRY

You???

Day 70: Kitties For Kerry

It is Election Day in the USA, and although this blog is a Canadian publication, I thought it might be useful for this newspaper to give an endorsement to help inform our American Readers.

This time, the choice is clear: John Kerry for President.

Snowy supports John Kerry.


I say this as someone who used to identify with Republicans on issues of National Security and economics. I have never much agreed with the Republicans on social issues - but this was never as big a concern. I don't support a party so vehemently opposed to gay marriage, drug legalization, women's rights, etc. etc. But I am not alone among what we call "Red Torys" and they call "Rockefeller Republicans" in abandoning the right-wing parties. Look only to fiercely libertarian and anti-tax New Hampshire which I predict turns bright blue this year.

Chance supports John Kerry.


But it is on the two big issues of economics and foreign policy where Bush falls short. His economic record is horrid - he believes in big deficits, big government, and tax cuts. I'll accept that he's better on trade than Kerry - but still - it doesn't add up. As for foreign policy - he is a swaggering, ill-informed blunderer. The invasion of Iraq to remove Saddam of WMD may have been a good idea - but only in the context of a proper alliance with other nations - including France and Germany. America is simply playing into the hands of Arab propagandists by wandering around the world acting like a gunslinger. Do you really wonder why in Estonia they hate you? And the problem at Abu-Gharaib is indictive of Bush's poor judgement. He didn't fire Rumsfeld who deserved it, and he didn't make any effort to find out the truth about the scandal. He just doesn't care about the details. He thinks he's right, he knows he's right, and he sleeps soundly at night.

Slippers supports John Kerry.


But he is not right. He is dead wrong.

Now this is not a normal election: it is in fact the most important contest the country has faced since 1860. Let's hope they make the right choice.



John Kerry for President!