Day 163: Weekending

After the excitement of the Uplands Awards Ceremony, I went on to have an eventful weekend.

On Friday, I got a random call from the elusive Roggles (he's one of the dead links to the right). He had just returned from a long trip to Atlanta, New Orleans, and Florida with Daniel Sieberg and other friends (perhaps he'll write about it one day?). He pointed out how phenomenally busy he is and that this was our only opportunity to get together. He was right - such a chance is best not squandered.

We ate some McDonalds, grabbed Gilman (who graciously took a break from his busy screenwriting career), and invited ourselves over to Peter and Ana's to play some cards and drink their booze. Now Peter is a working professional and was busy playing online on this night - but this did not deter us and we were eventually able to drag him down to our level of social poker. The five of us played for some time (with no money at stake): Peter was the big winner and Roggles the big loser. He blamed it all on dumb luck - but somehow I suspect there was skill involved too. I did note that the game is better when you play for some money (however small), because I was too tempted to just try things most of the time - I didn't play very soundly and was thrashed as a result.

On Saturday morning, I stumbled out of bed to help BumblyBee move to a new Don-less apartment. (Hooray!) She'd hired movers, so Cindy and I were able to just stand around moving really light things back and forth - but somehow the entire job was done in 3 hours - so huzzah for movers. We had a nice lunch at the nearby Frog&Firkin and I remarked how pleasant it is to be drinking at 1PM. BB's new place is great and looks out over a church. I immediately thought of it as a good refuge in case of a surprise vampire attack, but I probably watch too much Buffy.

Saturday evening saw Peter and I play in another poker tournament - this time out in Richmond at a Flying Wedge Pizza (Peter is a horrible influence on me, I know, I know). Anyways despite a lack of experience, seasoning, and polish - I continue to do darned well in these things - I'm not really sure how or why. I've now played in 4 poker tournaments with between 20 and 30 people and have placed 3rd, 7th, 2nd, and most recently 3rd. (Peter placed 2nd - so we did pretty well for ourselves).

So how do I do it? I play really conservatively, that's how. Most people there play like freaks - so you just wait for them to bluff into you when you have a good hand - and you get paid handsomely. Sounds simple and requires discipline - but it seems to work for me. But maybe I'm just getting lucky and always get good cards.

Sunday came around and brought Oscar night. "Million Dollar Baby" took home all the silverware - and Marty Scorsese went home crying. I obviously will have to see MDB again and may end up revising my previous negative opinion.

Despite the many no-shows at Montrose (Roggles, Peter, Ana?), the evening was enjoyed by the merry bunch in attendance (Anita, Nutmlk, Glenn, Gilman, Rubia, Chance, Slippers, myself). Flying Wedge pizza and peanut-butter cookies were consumed, red wine was drunk (though mostly by me - am I an alcoholic?), and singing and dancing did not break out.

Congratulations to Gilman and Nutmilk for jointly winning the pool - but hold on to your sizable winnings and we'll see you next year.

Day 162: Awards Night Madness

It's a fact of human nature: Everyone likes getting an award - whether you're Hilary Swank receiving your second Oscar or me accepting the Uplands Club Championship Trophy, the feeling is the same. Exuberant joy.

This past Wednesday I journeyed back to Victoria for a two day holiday. I somehow managed to persuade Peter to come too, and he played a couple rounds with me up at Uplands (we split the series 1-1).

But our midweek weekend wasn't about this year's golf - rather it was a chance to reflect on last year's triumphs - and what a triumphant year it was! So come Wednesday evening, I donned my new green jacket and journeyed up to the club to celebrate.


The 2004 Awards Dinner at Uplands Golf Club proved an opportunity to remember the past season and also enjoy a nice chicken dinner. For some reason it was only men's awards (which I didn't realize beforehand) - the ladies evidently have their own night. But I did realize that the club is relatively segregated - I'm not sure why. I come from a later generation and would prefer to see men and women celebrate together.

My dad joined me for the dinner; he has been a bit weak while recovering from surgery, but he resolved not to miss this day. The Club Captain, Huston Hill, grabbed us as we arrived and gave us spots at the head table with the Club Professional, Don Billsborough, and other club luminaries. This saved us from a place at the back of the room behind the pillars for there were 200 people there, all of whom seemed to show up early. They presented awards for the 19 Holes-In-One made last year, and then went through each of the other tournament champions (including my triumph in the Thanksgiving Tournament). Those lucky of who won two awards got special jackets with our names and achievements on the sleeve.

But they saved the best for last - my introduction as Club Champion for the year 2004.

Billsy had surreptiously chatted with my dad during the dinner and used the snippets of information to build an entire family story. He started off by discussing my grandfather Dermott, an excellent golfer, helping to build the Saltspring Golf Club 80 years ago and playing matches with the first Uplands Club Pro, Walter Gravlin. He then said that "Dermott had a son Mark - and he can't play worth a lick - though they did win the Father/Son this year - though no thanks to Mark. And then Mark had a son who is now our Club Champion." At this point Billsy handed me the microphone and I had to address the 200 people there - with absolutely nothing prepared. Fortunately I didn't panic and simply spent 15 seconds thanking everyone and describing the experience as "awesome". I was told I did OK - but it was pointed out that no one really cared what I would have said - just the fact that I seemed happy was enough.

Afterwards everyone I met made sure to point out that my dad certainly can play worth a lick and recounted matches they had lost to him. I also filled out the form for the Club Champions Tournament in Sault Ste. Marie - and Huston even told me that last time Uplands hosted the Times-Colonist Open (the Canadian Tour's Victoria Stop), they had given our Club Champion a sponsor's exemption. Will they do the same this time? I hope so - because playing in a Canadian Tour event as a full participant would be super-great.

When my mum asked my dad how it had gone afterwards on a scale of 1-10, he said that it was a "20". I have to agree. I hope I can get back there again next year.

Day 161: Oscar Night Blowout

I saw the excellent "Sideways" this evening: did you know it features a cameo onscreen of the Golf Channel showing local teen phenom James Lepp's victory in the Canadian Tour's 2003 Greater Vancouver Open? The wine tasting scenes were interesting - I recently took a one-day wine tasting course from the Vancouver School Board and can tell you the difference between a Sauvignon Blanc and a Merlot (one is white and one is red).

Speaking of the Oscars, this blog would like to invite its 5 or 6 readers to an Annual Oscar Gala Night at my apartment: contact me for details. The telecast starts at 5pm PST and a sheet of all the nominees will be available for the usual Oscar pool. I hope you can all make it.

I'm off to Victoria for two days to collect my Uplands Club Championship Trophy at the upcoming 2004 Awards Night. Have a great week.

Day 160: Are Cats Cute?

"Are cats cute???"
This is an age-old question but can now be resolved with the following series of pictures.

As it was Monday, I played floor hockey and returned home at 11:30pm sore, weary, and a loser to boot. I took off my stinky clothes and ran a nice hot bath to relax myself and ease my aching muscles. Chance was especially keen to see me, and meowed incessantly and even jumped up on the edge of the bathtub. Eventually he was quiet and I assumed he had left - but when I got out of the tub (don't worry - there are no pictures of me) this is where I found Chance.






Conclusion? Cats are cute.

Day 159: A Voyage to Vancouver

This past Saturday, my brother and two sisters journeyed from Victoria to Vancouver for a quick day trip with all four of the kids in tow (two from each sister). Laura, Dermott, Amanda, and Jack came in Laura's car - while I picked Jenny, Paige, and Jade up from the 9AM ferry in my car. The plan? Visit Science World. The occasion? It was Amanda's 6th birthday - Happy Birthday Amanda! Jade had been to Science World one year before and had shared all her stories with the others - so now they would all get to experience the fun.


Amanda relaxes in the comfort of McDonalds

Our first stop was the 29th Avenue SkyTrain station where we parked the vehicles and prepared to board the SkyTrain to go down to Science World. This made parking easier - and the SkyTrain was about the best ride they'd get to go on. But we couldn't call it a train, as Amanda had become scared of trains so instead we called it a "monorail". After a series of "North Haverbrook" jokes we arrived at McDonalds for some lunch. Amanda gained an upset tummy at this point and didn't eat too much.


Dermott, Jack, Blinky, Paige, myself and Jade

After a quick meal, we marched across the street to Science World. Right at the start, Amanda and Jack were fascinated by the displays outside (like the giant Goldberg Machine). I had to say "These are just the teasers - all the good stuff's inside!" Seriously - Science World is a great place and anyone with kids should go there as often as they can.


Jade and Paige

As we had four adults and four children, each of us siblings was assigned one child to keep an eye on. I lucked into the assignment of Jade who is very easy to handle in the sense that she's likely to come looking for you in the event of separation, whereas Amanda could disappear in an instant and find something fascinating to watch for hours. Kids are great - they're all so different.


Jenny

We went through most of the exhibits - which had cool stuff with light, sound, and animals - and then went to a magic show where we watched a local magician perform his illusions with a "Harry Potter" theme. It was entertaining - though Jade was very disappointed not to be picked out as a volunteer.

And then just like that - it was time to go home. They went back on the 5PM ferry and all agreed that they should have stayed longer. Will they stay overnight next time? All signs point to yes!


Paige is a cutie

Day 158: Million Dollar Mistake

I went out to Silvercity Riverport tonight with Peter and Ana to see the highly-heralded Oscar-nominated film "Million Dollar Baby". I cannot go into the details without unduly discussing the twists and turns of its plot, but I will say that I hated this film. Angrily, passionately, and unreservedly hated it, and I must advise this blog's readers not to see it at all costs.

This was the closest I've come to walking out on a film in some time and I regret not following through on my instincts. Please do yourself a favour and see something else, because this movie does not deserve your time.

Day 157: Slippers vs. Gilman

Gilman came over this evening to watch the premiere of Survivor:Palau and an episode of The Apprentice. Survivor was interesting for a premiere - and they did a good job of voting out the stupid people. There's a prevalent myth on the show that you have to "be strong". Strong is OK - but it's far more important not to be an idiot. As for the Apprentice, book smarts lost again - did I waste my time at University?

Anyways, Gilman shot his mouth off praising Chance for his friendly, purring demeanor - while dismissing Slippers as an aloof malcontent. Now Slippers is a proud cat and did not take to Gilman's attitude, so when Gilman overstayed his welcome and was asked to leave, Slippers challenged him to a quick match of wits at his favourite new game, Texas Hold'Em Poker. Gilman accepted with a derisive snort.

On the first hand, Gilman folded a 6-3 offsuit. A smart play from Gilman.

But on the second hand, Slippers quickly raised to All-In, hoping Gilman would slink away quietly - but Gilman looked down at his hand and saw the gleaming faces of pocket kings! He called the bet with a smile. Slippers turned over his mediocre 9-6 offsuit hand and Gilman turned to collect the chips. "Not so fast!" says I, "we must play out the hand - there is a chance you could lose!"

And lose he did when two 9's came on the flop. "Nice hand," says Gilman.

Day 156: Golf's Golden Age

Golf is experiencing a Golden Age right now, and we golf nuts have never been as excited about every meaningless tournament in February as this year. The Big Four (Vijay, Tiger, Ernie, Phil) are firing on all cylinders right now and it is shaping up to be a simply amazing year. All we can do is watch it unfold in shock and awe.

Vijay	Tiger	Ernie	Phil

The biggest golf story remains Tiger Woods. Tiger is #2 in the world but can retake his throne this very week in L.A. with but a top 4 finish. And he's going to do it. When this happens, people are going to throw up their hands and say "See? The World Rankings are stupid! Vijay wins 9 times in a year and he still can't stay ahead of Tiger." But these people are stupid. Tiger played in 19 tournaments in 2004, and came in the top 25 in 18 of them: he never really slumped - and now he's charging. Tiger wins the Masters this year by 4 shots: you heard it here first. And a resurgent Tiger is good for golf. But my dream? Tiger comes down the stretch leading in a major and gets beaten by someone else. This has never happened yet - but look for it to happen this July.

But what about the others? Vijay will resent being mentioned second, not only because of his enormous ego - but because he's still on top of the rankings. Yes - the pride of Fiji won an amazing 9 times last year including the PGA Championship and though he turns 42 next week still rules the roost. The most tireless practicer in golf, Vijay is a perfect anti-Tiger. I won't so much say he lacks charisma - but he clearly does not have star power. He's a perfect villain for Tiger. But my forecast? I think that Vijay will fade slightly this year - though this says more about his last two years than any failings this year. He'll end the year ranked #4 - but will have one last hoorah with a one-shot triumph at the U.S. Open over Ernie Els.

But with Vijay falling out of the picture, who will challenge Tiger? Could it be the man from South Africa - "The Big Easy" - Ernie Els? Quite possibly it will be. Blessed with the most perfect swing amongst modern golfers (and second only to Sam Snead all time), Ernie is big, tall, laconic, and blessed with an embarassment of talent. His major disappointments of 2004 may be eased if he can make a move this year. And he will - I see him winning the PGA this year in an exciting playoff with none other than Tiger Woods!

But the true challenger to Tiger's throne is the man now ranked #4 in the world - Phil "Hefty" Mickelson. Just when people were starting to forget how amazing a run he had in the Majors last year (he was 5 shots from a Grand Slam), Phil goes out and wins in back to back weeks. Phil has arrived and he's got all the shots now. Some of those knockdown shots he played last week made me think: "This is a man who could win at St. Andrews" - cause that's where the British Open is this year - and who doesn't love St. Andrews? So Phil wins the British in a playoff over Tiger after Tiger bogeys 17 following an adventure in the Road Bunker. Now that's drama.

But what about the rest? There's plenty of other second-tier golfers who can entertain in short dosages, starting with Retief Goosen, Mike Weir, and Sergio Garcia. But this year belongs to the Big Four - let's sit back and enjoy the show.

Day 155: Super Size Che

Tuesday was a good day to rent a movie, seeing as the new releases come out on that particular day - so I waved goodbye to my cats, left the comfort of my apartment, and began the short walk to the local video store. The wind was cold and biting, but I braved it stoically.

I had recently seen the rising Mexican actor Gael Garcia Bernal (whom all the ladies inform me is dreamy) in Pedro Aldomovar's "Bad Education", so I decided to check out his previous film about the legendary Che Guevara's early days called "The Motorcycle Diaries". I knew only a little about Che, despite owning both a tacky T-Shirt from my 1997 Cuba trip and a Havana-bought copy of his book "Educacion y Hombre Nuevo" but I resolved to learn more. But on the other hand, what I do know a thing or two about is McDonald's - so I also rented "Super Size Me". It seemed only appropriate to buy some McDonald's to eat while I watched this film - so I bought a Double Quarter Pounder without cheese meal with fries and coke. And yes - I had them large size it.



I thought "Super Size Me" was quite sobering - and some of those Americans sure are fat. But I did pause for thought as I munched on the last of my fries, for what is happening to my wretched fast-food fueled body? Could these empty calories be contributing to my periodic feelings of mental and physical wretchedness? Undoubtedly yes - I think that is clear - if you eat nonsense, then you won't always feel good. Fair enough - more fresh fruit is in my future. But I did note that whereas I am the same height as the film's narrator - I already weigh less than he did before his diet, whereas I eat at McDonald's all the time. But I never "Super Size", and never eat breakfast or dinner there - so am I safe? Will I have a heart attack and die tragically young? I hope not.

After this sobering look at our fast food nation, I moved on to view Che's travels through Latin America with his good buddy Alberto aboard their decrepit motorcyle "The Mighty One". I loved this film. In an earlier post I said that I didn't like Ray Charles - so in contrast let me say that I like Che. As portrayed in the film he is a paragon of moral virtue: an honest, passionate, intelligent man with a clearly bright future. It's easy to dismiss Fidel Castro as a corrupt tinpot dictator and point out that Cuba is a colossal mess - but we should not forget that what Fidel replaced was worse and besides it's not Che's fault - but I digress (Perhaps I can give my thoughts on Cuba in a future blog).

"The Motorcycle Diaries" did a good job of showing the maturing of two young Argentinian preppies into proto-revolutionaries. I wanted to throw a brick at a mining company's truck while I watched. Capitalist bastards! Also the mountains and rivers of South America from Chile to Venezuela are beautiful and unique - it looked like a fascinating journey to make - or at least to watch (for those lazy of us who like to sleep in our comfortable beds).

My recommendation? See both these films - but do your body a favour and cook some chicken and rice to eat with them instead.

Day 154: I Didn't Get Fired Today

Hooray! I still have a job!

Now normally this wouldn't qualify as news - but today was different. Everyone in the building received a troubling email to go to an All-Hands Meeting by the main stairwell at 2PM - and that this meeting took precedence over all previous meetings. Those who have been around the block (such as I) will realize that good news (except perhaps for people who love bad news) is not announced in random meetings at random stairwells. I would have earlier described my thoughts in the doom-laden excitement of this morning, but I was prohibited by Glenn from alarming his girlfriend, Nutmilk.

But they did not hand out pink slips to anyone: rather they announced that our main product (just nearing completion) has been cancelled because no one wants to buy it. Rats. So a lot of our activities will need to ramp down in the next couple of weeks as we figure out what to do. As a result, a lot of people wandered around afterwards wondering "What next?" But I actually am so important and useful that I have work to do on another product (which hasn't been cancelled yet) - so I should be able to manage fine.

I am happy not to get the boot today for a couple of reasons:
1) I don't have much money saved up. I spend too much.
2) Unemployment is overrated - I didn't really enjoy it or get anything much done last time.

So I'm happy to be still working. Work is fun - it keeps me busy and pays my bills - and people see me as a productive member of society. There's plenty of smart people here - some of them friendly - and many of them know what they're doing. Things could be a lot worse.

Workers of the world unite!

Day 153: A Cat's Life Wishes You A Happy Valentine's Day

Day 152: Seventeen Thoughts About Seventeen Girls

This is a commentary on Gned's recent compilation "Seventeen Songs About A Girl" - which can be found here.

Some of these songs I know, some I don't - but it looks promising, so we'll go through them all and then see what we think. I should note that Gned's album cover is super-duper-great (and there's a cat on it!) - this puts me to considerable shame. Let's begin.


1. Pixies - "Cecilia Ann" from "Bossanova" (1990)
A quick start to the album with some classic Pixies surf rock. Energetic and propulsive - Bossanova is a great album! OK. This isn't Bossanova - but Gned has selected two songs from that album (and additional songs Alison and Ana could have been used): Gned has chosen well.

2. Elf Power - "Jane" from "A Dream In Sound" (1999)
I like this one. Did you know that Jane is my mum's name? This is impossibly sweet and lovely - a charming song - I should listen to more Elf Power. So far, so good!

3. Damien Rice - "Amie" from "O" (2003)
A little slower and "singer/songwritery" - this will take a couple of listens to figure out. "The Story of O" is a famous 50-year old French erotic novel (published anonymously). This is reminiscent of David Gray or Ed Harcourt. Surprisingly - I like this: hopeful yet bittersweet - perfect for this sort of compilation.

4. Elliott Smith - "Pisteleh" from "XO" (1998)
Ironically, this is the first of two songs(!) that Gned has taken from the same album that I used on my previous compilation ("Mary Jo" is the other). This is classic Elliott Smith: fragile, beautiful - and if you look at the lyrics quite depressing.

5. The Pogues - "Lorelei" from "Peace and Love" (1989)
Most people think The Pogues are Irish when they are from London - but that's a minor point - why did I bother to mention that? Anyways - this isn't Shane MacGowan singing - but that other guy. This is an underrated song. Yes I like this one. Did you know that the "Lorelei" he's singing about is a Rhine Maiden who lures sailors to their deaths?

6. Scissor Sisters - "Mary" from "Scissor Sisters" (2004)
We used to have a Siamese Cat named Mary. Meow! Anyways - I don't like this very much... but we'll give it a chance. Let's come back to this. No - still don't like it. Do other people like this? It seems phoney. It's fake camp retro - I just don't get it.

7. Weezer - "Suzanne" from "Mallrats Soundtrack" (1995)
A straight-ahead stomp from Weezer. I do like Weezer but this song is relatively generic.

8. Björk - "Isobel" from "Post" (1996)
An excellent song! I remember an interview with Björk in AP where she discussed what this song is about - and I recall it had forest creatures transforming into points of light and other bizarre things. A great jungly atmospheric vibe here. The best song on her otherwise disappointing followup to "Debut".

9. Pinback - "Penelope" from "Blue Screen Life" (2001)
MuppetGirl famously got us all interested in Pinback by including 3 different Pinback songs on her last compilation. At the time, they were some of my least favourite songs on her album - but now they are amongst my favourites. I don't know why my tastes changed like that - probably because Pinback are not simple musically so they stand up well to repeated listenings. But this is now my favourite Pinback song - wonderful. You know - I think he's singing about a fish? Does everyone else love Pinback?

10. Jack Johnson - "Taylor" from "On And On" (2003)
Ouch! A real stinker. This is terrible. I hate the way that Jack sings here. The music annoys me. OK Gned - I'll give this a chance - but only for you. Taylor was my grandmother's maiden name - it's not a first name! Hmmm.. Oh - please make this stop. He just said "finger-lickin". I don't like this at all. Gned - why did you include this? Please re-evaluate your tastes.

11. Yo La Tengo - "Andalucia" from "Fakebook" (1990)
This is a John Cale cover, and it's pretty good. There's a double meaning here in that Andalusia is a region of Spain: the last reconquered from the Moors in 1492. I don't know - this is slow and smooth like most Yo La Tengo. I like this better the second time through - nice to sit very deep into the couch to listen to this.

12. Franz Ferdinand - "Jacqueline" from "Franz Ferdinand" (2004)
I should like this more than I do. It's OK. The kids like these guys - and I should too. I don't know what's wrong with me.

13. Lamb - "Angelica" from "Between Darkness and Wonder" (2003)
An electronica number - albeit a slow one - a good change of pace. OK - instrumental so far... is there singing? I hope not. A little too "boingy" for me. But it's nice. I uses "nice" all the time in writing this - I had to remove 90% of them and there's still too many.

14. Belle and Sebastian - "Mary Jo" from "Tigermilk" (1996)
The great closer to "Tigermilk" (which references "The State I Am In" in the lyrics). For some reason, this one is underrated amongst the B&S fanbase. I love this character portrait of a woman much like "Margaret" in "Searching for Boris". OK - I admit that I love B&S and am not giving objective commentary here. Interestingly - the background vocals are sung by a girl named "Isobel" - is that a coincidence? Probably. Note at the end that he says "The men you left for dead" not "dad".

15. Pixies - "Velouria" from "Bossanova" (1990)
One of the best Pixies songs ever! The lyrics are typically nonsensical, of course. If you don't already own "Bossanova", "Doolittle", and "Trompe Le Monde", then get thee to a record store. I do wish that Black Francis had let Kim Deal sing more.

16. Smashing Pumpkins - "Luna" from "Siamese Dream" (1993)
The closer from the much-maligned Smashing Pumpkins. People have forgotten that this is a great album - and I really like this song. Well resurrected! "I'm in love with you" - a sweet message. Inspired choice, Gned!

17. Sinead O'Connor - "Peggy Gordon" (traditional) from "Sean-Nós Nua" (2002)
Like most people, I am unfamiliar with Sinead's later works. This is my fault. Anyways - it is interesting that she was so huge and mainstream (circa 1990) and now no one knows even if she's alive. This is excellent. It sounds like we're in Ireland and I'm shedding a tear as I can smell the streets of Roscommon. O Ireland, I will return to you soon. A great closer to a fine CD.


OK - so those were the songs.

But a compilation is not about the individual songs - it's about the flow and the mood. Has Gned succeeded? Yes. Yes he has. This is good actually. There was only one song I really hated, a couple of poor songs, with the rest being great. A wonderful compilation from Gned.

Note: You can comment directly on Gned's compilation here. Let's stop using my Ray entry for Gned comments. Cheers!

Day 151: On Ray Charles Robinson

My annual quest to win the Oscar Pool continued yesterday as I watched "Ray" (which is already out on DVD) with Rubia, Chance, and Slippers. Jamie Foxx does an amazing job which is why he is the odds-on "Best Actor" favourite, and there are some other good performances in it as well. I thought the early scenes and early music were quite good and I found myself enjoying things as it went along. Unfortunately, my enjoyment of the film started to slide as I realized how selfish and thoroughly unlikable Ray Charles is.

I know, I know - you don't have to like a character to enjoy a film, but the movie is an homage to him and even ends with a happy ceremony and Ray on top of creation lording it over his enemies. Are we supposed to cheer? Because I found it hard to care that he beat his demons (especially heroin addiction).

Why is he so rotten you ask? Because he is a cheating, lying scumbag who sleeps around with countless women while he has a pregnant wife at home. I'm sorry - but this is beyond contempt. He's also a controlling, manipulative person, a lousy father, and an untrusting ogre who betrays his friends throughout. He never seems particularly embarrassed or ashamed of any of his behaviour - and I don't think he learns any lessons whatsoever. Time eventually mellows him and he becomes a genial old man - but so what?

The movie ends with a montage of his heroic last 40 years - years of triumph and glory. But I had to think: Was that another 40 years of cheating on your wife? Assuredly yes: because once a cheat - always a cheat.

Ray Charles. Asshole.

Day 150: Ten Things I Hate About My Cats

This blog can read like a hagiography of Chance and Slippers - but don't be fooled - for they are not perfect cats. Let's discuss some quirky things they do that bug me...

Chance and Slippers face the music.

10) Slippers always barfs on my rug.
- I'm sorry I don't brush you enough, Slippers - but when you do barf - why is it always on my rug? Slippers has a catbox for bathroom issues, and a barf rug for hairballs - nowhere else will do.

9) They don't let me sleep in when it's time for breakfast.
- When my alarm rings, this means it's time for Friskies! Well - I like to snooze a few times - partly because I don't always sleep well because of #8 and #7...

8) Chance likes to lick my face when I sleep.
- Yes this sounds cute - but I don't always enjoy waking up to a cat licking my face.

7) They like to get under the blinds while I sleep.
- Both of them love to sit by the window at all times and will rattle the blinds above me while I sleep. I am just not a fan of noise and this always wakes me up. I have been stern with them, but they still persist. This morning, I opened up another window for them - but since they like to follow me around, they prefer to rattle the blinds near where I am sleeping. Well I guess that is cute.

6) Chance loves to hide in my closet.
- Everytime I open a door, Chance is in there - and I have to fish him out. There's nothing exciting in there Chance - why don't you wait outside.

5) They always lose their catnip mouses under the furniture.
- If I put out their toys in the morning, they will have all disappeared by nightfall.

4) Chance will bite Slippers all the time
- Chance will walk up to Slippers when he's sleeping and start licking him. Very cute. But inevitably it switches to Chance furiously biting Slippers on the neck and them both running off in a fury of meowing. This often happens on my bed in the middle of the night.

3) Slippers steals my food
- You can give Slippers the best cat meal imaginable - but if you sit down to eat, Slippers lurks behind you like a barbarian waiting for the right opportunity to steal your food. Sometimes, he'll covet the food but when you give it to him, he realizes he doesn't like it (e.g. cake).

2) Chance tries to eat weird things
- Chance won't touch a fresh chicken breast, but he is fascinated by bags and loves to lick them. I fear that one day I'll come home and the end of a Safeway bag will be sticking out of his mouth as he meows quietly on the carpet. Oh that Chance.

1) Chance will forget that he's hungry
- Chancey, Chancey - you are an enigma. Chance and Slippers will always rattle me out of bed to feed them. Once this starts, Slippers knows what's coming and will stay close by me rubbing my legs and meowing. He can't wait! Chance will be initally excited about all the commotion, but I guess it can take a while to get their dishes ready - so by the time I'm done, Chance is often sitting on a couch in the other room looking about aimlessly. Since Slippers will eat his food if unwatched, I have to drag Chance back into the kitchen to feast. Crazy cat!

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OK - that's the end - and I can stop pretending I hate anything about my cats. Even their quirky traits are endearing and adorable.

Day 149: The Big One

Vancouver is in the heart of Cascadia, a vibrant and fascinating region - with plenty of good coffee and lovely mountains. But it is not all wine and roses here - for this is earthquake country. Bah! What? Me worry? What earthquake? Few of us have ever experienced even a minor quake, so it is easy to devalue the risk of a large quake. We may have all seen the nasty tsunami of South-East Asia, but this was seen as an aid issue and humanitarian tragedy: nothing to do with us.

Chances are that a hypothetical 100 year old grandfather, born and raised on Saltspring, will have lived a happy productive life without witnessing any earthquake activity whatsoever. He would be rightly skeptical of the extreme alarmists and would die peacefully in his sleep a happy man. So it's settled then - for what has happened in the recent past is a great clue to reading the future - right? I imagine a Turkish sultan in 1913 saying "The Ottoman Empire has lasted for 460 years - we are doing just fine!" Well not so fast, Mehmed V, things can change.

For the historical record shows the following facts:
1) Cascadia is one big subduction zone - prone to the largest and most violent quakes imaginable: upwards of 9.0 on the Richter Scale (similar to the largest experienced anywhere in the last century). This is not a theory, but a matter of scientific record.
2) There have been approximately 18 such earthquakes in the last 12,000 years.
3) The last one was on January 26, 1700 (Glenn's birthday!). It caused a 9-foot tsunami in Japan.

So what does this mean?

First off - the question is not "Will we get a massively destructive earthquake" - but "When we will we get the massively destructive earthquake that is going to come". Let's compute realistic odds. How likely is it to happen soon? According to Wikipedia, a Cascadia subduction zone earthquake (where the whole plate shakes) happens on average every 590 years - so the odds of seeing one in the next 59 years (likely all you have left...) is about 10%. But since there hasn't been a quake in the last 305 years the odds are a bit higher... probably more like 15%.

But what exactly would happen in such an earthquake? Will you survive? Probably you'll live (but your car might get squished) - but if you live in an old building (like I do) - or if you live in Richmond - you will probably die.

Something to think about on a cold February evening.

Day 148: My Childhood Inspection

Who here likes music?

In honour of digitally ripping all my CDs to my computer, I have posted the complete list of my CDs at my website here. There are 459 CDs listed, but I do have other bizarre compilations and such that I didn't include (though some I did include). My next item of business is to get proper speakers - because my computer has old tinny ones that sound less than awful. Granted, I do have nice headphones - but the speakers stink.

You'll note the following in my list:
1) I don't have much "classic rock". The long story here is that the "Classic Rock" CDs were all originally owned by my older brother. And those that weren't owned by him, he thought were owned by him, and sold them when he was short of money! He even sold my copy of "The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway" barely 6 months after I bought it - but that is an old issue that doesn't need to be rehashed here. But suffice to say that I used to listen to more stuff like Led Zeppelin, Rush, Jethro Tull, Moody Blues, EL&P, Jimi Hendrix, The Animals, Rolling Stones, Doors, Beatles, etc. - so I am familiar with the standard canon of modern rock'n'roll, even if it doesn't appear so from my list.

Hey: it used to be that you could hear old 60s stuff all the time on the radio - but let me ask you his. When did you last hear "The Animals" on the radio? They've become an oldies band! Classic Rock now consists of crap from the 70's. And I'm sorry to offend, but the 70s was inferior to the 60s. But all radio is terrible generally, of course.

2) I bought an awful lot of "modern rock" in the mid to late 90's (e.g. Gene? Tad?). Not all of this stuff is good. So don't comment on one or two albums and point out that they're terrible. Chances are that I already know this.

3) I don't listen to dance music. The CDs I have that are pseudo-dance are probably the ones I never ever listen to.

4) I don't really listen to classical music, jazz music, or blues. Perhaps one day I'll grow up and listen to more adult music - but not yet.

5) I haven't bought too many new CDs since 2000. So sad.

So what's the best album?
The Cure - "Disintegration"!

Day 147: The Shining

Another Monday, another workday. More of the same? No - not exactly - for today was our big move day. On Friday, we packed up our things and put them away, and now Monday finds us all in new cubicles (all within the same building - this was just a random restructuring - not a real move). Some cubicles are better and some are worse - that's the luck of the draw.

Early indications are that my new area is better than the old one. The old spot was nice and quiet - but lifeless and sunless. My new cubicle has a strange big shining yellow orb pointing straight at me. An old fudder-dudder might complain about the glare (and I fear it's only a matter of time before someone shuts the blinds) - but not me. Who loves the sun? Everyone - especially me.

It makes me think: I should buy one of those "all-spectrum lights", because I really do feel better in every way when the sun is shining on me. Winters are tough but they end. I can't wait for summer.

Day 146: An Afternoon With Bing and Sherman

Being the first Saturday in some time where I wasn't busy and the weather was nice and sunny, I decided to play a round of golf at McCleery, a local public course. I hadn't booked a tee time, so I couldn't be too sure when I would get off - but it turned out that I only had to wait 30 minutes. Here's a secret: The wait times for singles/twosomes at Vancouver public courses are very low. Why? Vancouver forces your to book your time by phone a full 5 days in advance (Burnaby is only 2 days). The result? It's hard to get a time, but once you get there, there are always lots of cancellations and you get off no problem. In Burnaby by comparison, because it's only a 2-day booking window, people usually show up for their times.

My usual playing partner is Peter, but he had an afternoon ice hockey game (Go Arrows!), so I was on my own. Golf matches during busy times are always foursomes (no more, no less), so I had an opportunity to again play with Bing and Sherman.

Bing and Sherman are fictional names that Peter and I have coined for our usual public golf companions. Random public players are usually terrible - but this in itself is not an impediment to enjoying a game - I don't want to come off like a golf snob. The problem is ettiquette. Bing&Sherman are usually uncouth. Much of their uncouthness is not golf ettiquette so much as life ettiquette.

Here are some typical Bing&Sherman-isms:

1) Hitting your shot while someone else is hitting their shot.
In darts - it's one person at a time. Same principle applies to golf. You really should go in the right order (farthest goes first), but I'll let you go first if you're ready - this is good for fast play. Heck - I'll even forgive two people hitting simultaneously if they're far apart - but this brings us to rule #2.

2) Hitting your putt while someone else is hitting their putt.
I mean - come on. This is ridiculously distracting. You really don't need to be a golfer to realize that this is bad ettiquette. You are shaking your head - "Does this really happen?" Yes it does.

3) Having your cell phone ring - and then loudly having a conversation.
Please! No cell phones. Or at least turn off the ringer. Bing and Sherman usually have them on their belt and they'll ring constantly. I hate cell phones, but I've completely given up on educating the rest of the planet on their heinousness. Just leave it in your car. You're not that important.

4) Sherman's Rule: The third putt is always good
Here's a typical Shermanism. Sherman has a 30 footer for bogey. He leaves it 4 feet short. He powers the 4-footer a full 6 feet past the hole and picks up. He feels entitled to no more than a 3-putt. Put Sherman in a tournament and he's surprised to 5-putt occasionally: "Never had one of those before!". Yes you have. Bing&Sherman also shave their score in lots of other ways too - Whatever: I don't care what they shoot - but don't announce you had a 41 when it was a 45. You're cheating. And cheating is wrong. Didn't these people go to Sunday School?

5) Hitting into the people in front of you because they're done.
Bing feels that once you've finished a hole, you're done and he can hit. Wrong. Often times the path to the next tee takes the players through an area Bing is liable to hit (usually short&right, cause Bing is a slicer). In fact, Bing is more likely to hit them there than when they were on the green. Bing: Please wait until they're gone before you hit.


So that's my rant. But I should say that playing with B&S is often fun - you get to meet people from all walks of life - and they often end up thinking you're some sort of god and ask when you're going to join the tour. I also always get mistaken for a university student (when in fact I'm old as borscht - do I look young for my age?). Anyways, they help me handle adversity and to not be a jerk about things all the time. I still freak out sometimes (usually after a 3-putt - I hate 3-putts!) - but I'm getting better.

So how'd I do today? I've been long-winded so far, so I'll be brief:
I boringly parred the first five, then 3-putt bogeyed 6. I went on tilt because Sherman putted his 15-footer while I was about to putt a 30-footer (see Rule #2). He didn't even look at me - so I decided to quickly tap in a 3-footer and missed. Oops. I then bogeyed 7 and plunked it in the water right on 8. Hmmm. Sherman came by to help with his trusty ball retriever. Thanks Sherman! But the ground was very muddy, and Sherman managed to merely push my ball further into the mud and we lost it. Doubled that one.

Anyways, I then birdied 9, bogeyed 13, and finished with birdie-birdie on 17/18 for a 73. Not bad for not having played in 5 weeks. I hope it stays nice again tomorrow.

Bye.

Day 145: Take Me Back To Dear Old Blighty

Chance and Slippers waited at Oxford Train Station for several minutes as a cold English rain pelted their fur. "I can't believe that Gned is late!" observed Slippers, "that's just not like him - he must be hurt."

"I can give you a lift," came a friendly familiar voice. The young man was especially cheerful and happy - and had a big, broad healthy smile.

"Why - it's Thom Yorke from Radiohead - hooray!"

"I'm heading for Gned & MuppetGirl's m'self for tea and crumpets. Hop in!"

"Thanks Thom Yorke!"

"So - how did you come up with the idea for 'Paranoid Android'?" asked Chance.

"That one was easy. We're primarily computer programmers you see - and Arnold the Android started to lose power in his batteries - so that song's what happened next. And 'Everything In Its Right Place' is how we put him back together afterwards."

"Fascinating. Here's our stop! There's MuppetGirl!" MuppetGirl was in the front yard doing jumping jacks with Gaz Coombs from Supergrass and they waved to Thom and the cats.

"Greetings, cats," said Gned as he smoked on his pipe. "I planned to come get you but I completely lost track of time whilst playing Warcraft. I will be more concerned about getting to places on time in the future." Gned paused and scratched his beard thoughtfully, and then continued, "Humans are amphibians - half spirit and half animal. As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time. I must remember that!"

The cats and humans dined on roast beef and Yorkshire pudding (and tuna - by Chance's request), and the conversations were sparkling, witty, and urbane. And when three members of Ride dropped by for the custard, things became even more exciting.

"What a wonderful place Oxford is," said Chance.

"Absolutely!"

Day 144: My Weather Pixie

Have you noticed the weather pixie I've added on the right? It's a wonderful use of computers and the internet. She dresses appropriately for the temperature and conditions currently observed at Vancouver Airport. The outfits vary over time - but won't change too much in a single day. Keep an eye on her and never check a weather website or look out a window again. She is occasionally visited by a couple of cats, whom I've named Chance and Slippers. Is Slippers there now - or has the rain scared him off?

Day 143: Sad songs for sad days

It is one of life's mysteries: Why do miserable sad people listen to miserable sad music? Doesn't it make them feel worse? I guess it's because when you're in a dark sort of mood, happy cheerful music feels "wrong" and doesn't connect emotionally. The best music (or art) comes out of strong emotion and conviction - and an introspective miserable songwriter often understands deep feelings best.

I have been listening to Elliott Smith's excellent new album a few times recently (best songs are "Coast to Coast" and "King's Crossing"): he had a gift for crafting fragile beautiful melodies - and you beginners shouldn't try to play most of these songs on your guitar - he uses multiple guitars, and plenty of difficult/weird chords (at least to me) - clearly a gifted musician. Anyways, he had a bitter ironic sensibility - and could make even a happy song sound sad (not that he has many happy songs). If you haven't listened to much Elliott Smith - you should find a few songs and start from there. The Audioscrobbler universe suggests "Between the Bars" is his best song - and who am I to disagree?

It's easy to look at an album released posthumously after a suicide (Elliott Smith died in October 2003) and find dark meanings that aren't necessarily there - but not in this case. It's not hidden on this one - listening to it can be awkward and make you wonder why no one in the studio grabbed him and forcibly took him to the hospital until he cheered up. But then you look at the credits: "written, performed, produced, and recorded by elliott smith" - obviously he was a genius, but that is a red flag - this was not a man given to trust others.

Still, it's a tough proposition to "Understand Suicide" - and it's really not possible. I wish that people would think of mental illness like they think of cancer or any other illness. Someone got sick and didn't make it: it doesn't mean they were weak. I also think people should be more comfortable talking about it - it is one of life's great taboos - and I've probably upset some people with this blog posting. But the talk should be ordinary and banal - as suicide is not glamorous.

With last week's anniversary, I was reflecting on my bowling partner Kim - and wondering how I could have helped. I don't have an answer. I suppose there is no answer. All we can do is remember how he lived and enjoy our lives. But I think the longest conversations we ever had was while we were in the background of Roggles's film - and to recently see these preserved on screen really affected me. I miss you, Kim.

Day 142: Una historia idiotica de Chance y Slippers en Texas

"¡Gracias por su apoyo!" dicho Slippers al hombre misterioso y feo con un carro grande. Slippers estaba muy cansado porque del viaje largo a Texas de Vancouver.

"¡Y por su collaboracion!" dicho Chance. Chance tenía hambre, y quiere una comida - preferentemente con los pescados! "Te adoro, pescaditos."

"¡Bienvenidos a Texas!" dicho Shayna, una mujer de gran inteligencia y hechizos. Ella fue una vieja amiga de los gatos, y ahora vive en Austin, Texas. "Está mi amiga, Zahara - ella es una actriz en el novicio teatral de Austin, y será su guía."

"¡Hola gatos! Encantada de conocerlos."

"Perdóneme, Zahara, pero usted aparenta familiar a mí..."

"Yo creo que no, mi nuevo gato amigo," ella respondía con una gran sonrisa.

Shayna continuaba, "Hay varios lugares interesantes en Texas - por ejemplo - El Álamo de San Antonio, o los..."

"¡Es bastante! ¡Cállate! A primero - ¿Dónde están los pescados?" gritaba Chance con un estómago retumbando.

"Están aqui," respondía Shayna. Ella los ofrecía dos tazas de atún.

"¡Comamos!"

"Que gatos raros," dicho Shayna. Zahara reído con otra gran sonrisa.

...

Mientras tanto, un hombre misterioso y feo hablaba a un hombre similar.

"¿Qué es eso, Padre Rojito Manolo?"

"Tenemos una problema nueva - y la problema tiene dos apelidos: ¡Chance y Slippers!"

Day 141: Modify the Seasons

The seasons aren't accurately placed, and everybody knows it. So I'm proposing a swift orderly change.

Why? Consider the following:
Is December 18th really part of fall? Hardly.
Is March 18th really part of winter? I think not!
And June 20th - that must be part of summer.

So my proposal is the following:
Winter = December 1st - February 28th
Spring = March 1st - May 31st
Summer = June 1st - August 31st
Fall = September 1st - November 30th

No change to the solstices or equinoxes (of course). But they no longer signify the start of a new season. This is right and proper.

Day 140: In a White Room

In a recent post, Muppet Girl asked if there were any pictures from the White-Out? Sadly - no - as no one interrupted their merriment to preserve a record of the affair for posterity's sake. We all feel shame.

But with the help of Chance, I went back to the scene (which oddly enough was still decorated...) and took some stationary shots which may give you a feel of how things were. Of course, some vitality is lost, but if in your mind's eye you imagine Dermott, Raj, Cindy, et al shining in glimmering white robes as punch is drunk, and the issues of the day are discussed (like the impact of Paris Hilton on 21st century America), then you will have some idea of what went on.

Note that my white shirt reads "Fancy Feast" - I bought it for $3 at the Salvation Army!