Day 235: Victoria City Amateur 2005 - Day Two

First read Victoria City Amateur 2005 - Day One

I awaken on Sunday morning, calm and at peace with my dismal Saturday performance - ready to have a good game and see what happens. I can control only myself - I cannot control the fates of others.

My brother has helpfully printed out the Day One standings - and I am shocked to discover that I am in a tie for 29th despite my disastrous 79 (the top 25 advance). In reality, I can't blame the weather or conditions for my score and probably would have had a rotten result in almost any weather - but this is evidently not the case for the rest of the field. My experience tells me that the long high-ball hitting juniors who make up the bulk of the field do not enjoy windy days and are capable of posting almost any number. I realize that I don't need to go really low - just reasonably low should be enough. With today's round at the equally difficult Royal Colwood Golf Club, I figure a 74 will definitely get me in, a 75 should get me in, and a 76 probably won't get me in (and I don't want to think about what happens after a 77).

I have a comfortable waffle breakfast (avoiding the traditional Sunday Uplands breakfast) and watch the reasonably entertaining "Meet the Fockers" as Dermott and I enjoy a lazy morning. Before heading to the course, we stop in at the George Pearkes Rec Centre (at Tillicum Mall) and watch Jade, Amanda, Paige, and Jack do their weekly gymnastics. Jack is at the tail end of a ghost fixation (the airplane/helicopter interest being long since forgotten) but has recently become obsessed with Star Wars - and particularly Darth Vader. When Dave (Jack's dad) arrived for a brief visit, we were treated to hearing the two of them recite lines from "The Empire Strikes Back" resolving to "Rule the galaxy as Father and Son". Very cute - although slightly evil. The gymnastics were also disturbing as you are reminded of your imminent mortality when you observe the extreme flexibility of a 4-year old. Jade is disappointed that I can't join them at The Old Spaghetti Factory for lunch - a lunch paid for because Paige won a draw prize in a raffle at Amanda's school - but I have to be on my way, and so I depart.

Dermott dropped me off at the course, planning to come pick me up later when I finished - so that I could race off to catch the 9PM ferry - as things might not be wrapped up until 8PM.

Victoria City Amateur: Day Two - Royal Colwood
1. 4-Par; 397 Yards: I hit a beautiful drive smack down the middle of the fairway, leaving only 125 yards in. Unfortunately, I am playing with 3 juniors - and I am the shortest in my group by over 20 yards - and one of the kids is almost 40 yards past me. Hmmmm. I think I'm downwind and hit a GW - but it spins off the front left of the green leaving an easy 55 foot uphill chip. I hit it online but it stays 6 feet short. I camly stroke in the save for a nice Par 4. EVEN through 1.
2. 4-Par; 408 Yards: I realize now that I'm actually into the wind - not downwind - I must have been confused on the first hole. I hit a slight hook which lands in the trap on the left but bounces through safely. From 165 yards, I hit a punch 6-iron to about 15 feet past the hole. I run the first putt 3 feet past and safely putt in for my Par 4. EVEN through 2.
3. 4-Par; 420 Yards: This is a famously difficult hole with a creek running in front of the green. I boom a great tee shot right down the middle leaving only 130 yards in. I hit a simple PW to 15 feet right of the hole. Faced with a treacherous downhill putt I leave the approach putt 3 feet short. Ooops - I'm not at Victoria anymore - these greens are much slower. But I make the save for another Par 4. EVEN through 3.
4. 3-Par; 175 Yards: We are faced with a brand new tee box a little further back. I hit a beautiful 6-iron that lands 3 inches from the hole, but rolls 30 feet past. I leave the putt 3-feet short, but make the save for a Par 3. EVEN through 4.
5. 5-Par; 515 Yards: The suggested tee shot on this reachable par five is a slight cut - not my favourite shot. I hit a slight draw into the left trees instead. I try to hit a recovery shot back into the fairway - but my 8-iron plops straight into a fairway bunker instead - leaving me 130 yards to the hole. From there, I splice a PW just right of the right greenside bunker into some heavy rough. Since the pin is also on the right, I am dead. I punch it to 35 feet and two-putt for a disappointing Bogey 6. 1-OVER through 5.
6. 4-Par; 429 Yards: I hit a safe shot just into the right rough, leaving 165 yards in. Although I am downwind, I remember coming up short here many times (it is uphill), so I decide to hit a 7-iron. This is a mistake and I end up all the way over the green and facing a 90 foot chip. I hit an indifferent shot 8-feet short and miss the par save. Bogey 5. 2-OVER through 6.
7. 3-Par; 160 Yards: This is an interesting downhill par-3, now playing into the strong wind. I stand on the tee with a 6-iron, but feel the wind seem to die. I consider changing clubs, but then feel the wind freshen and stick to my original plan - I just need to hit a gentle punch. Ooops - the wind stops as I hit, and my ball goes 20 yards over the back of the green and nestles down in the rough. I hit an iffy shot to 20 feet, but somehow make the long putt to save my Par 3. 2-OVER through 7.
8. 4-Par; 327 Yards: This easy hole is the last of the reasonable holes at Colwood - as things will soon get tricky as we move into the back nine. I hit a thin driver down the right side of the fairway and am flirting with the trees on the right. But I ignore them, and hit a nice LW to 12 feet. But my putt isn't even close and I settle for a Par 4. 2-OVER through 8.
9. 4-Par; 425 Yards: This is another new tee that's set way back of the old tee box. I hit a huge booming drive right down the middle, leaving only 145 in. From there, my 9-iron finishes just short and left - leaving a reasonable 20 foot putt from the fringe. But I miss it (announcing "You have to make those!" for some reason) and settle for a Par 4. 2-OVER through 9.
FRONT NINE: 2-OVER 37
10. 4-Par; 430 Yards: I hit a reasonable drive right down the middle, leaving 145 yards in. From here, I hit a 9-iron right at - but it comes up 20 feet short and I miss the birdie bid. Par 4. 2-OVER through 10.
11. 3-Par; 200 Yards: They have us at a slightly forward tee - but the pin is at the back, making this still a very tough par 3. I hit a hook 4-iron left of the green (avoiding the trees) but into a sketchy lie. I fluff the chip and do not reach the green. My next chip is almost perfect and nearly goes in resulting in a bogey 4. 3-OVER through 11.
12. 4-Par; 423 Yards: This is a brutal hole. You have to hit a straight drive uphill between a chute of trees, and even if you do that - the green has a huge slope from back left to front right. I hit a decent shot into the right rough, then punch a perfect 7-iron to the front right of the green. I am delighted - it is far better to be in the rough to the right of this green than 20 feet above the hole. I hit a good putt from 30 feet but it stays short and I settle for a Par 4. 3-OVER through 12.
Note: I decide that I am in good shape right now. Keep playing well!
13. 4-Par; 386 Yards: I hit a great drive down the middle into the wind on this downhill par 4, leaving a precarious 130 yards to this massively slope green with water in front. But I then make the cardinal sin - I miss my 9-iron to the short side left - leaving an impossible downhill chip from heavy rough. I half-skull the chip 60 feet past the hole into the front fringe, but hit a good long putt and am able to save a Bogey 5. 4-OVER through 13.
14. 5-Par; 467 Yards: This hole is really short and is playing downwind to boot. I should note that my 3 playing partners all hit it to around the 150s. I, on the other hand, clipped the trees on the right - but kicked back into the fairway, leaving 245 yards in to a back pin. I consider laying up (like a wuss), but decide to go for it. Just hit one good shot here and I am in good shape! And I do it - hitting a perfect cut 5-wood that rolls across the green just into the back fringe. But when I get to my ball, I realize it's actually sitting down a bit in the rough. I chip it out to 6-feet but miss the putt on the high side, powering it 2-feet past. I add insult to injury by also missing the 2-footer. "Wha'happened?" I think. 5-OVER through 14.
15. 3-Par; 157 Yards: I hit a gentle block 7-iron into the front right bunker. I hit a reasonable bunker shot to 20 feet in the fringe, and hit a great putt which lips out hard. I swear at the hole but settle for a Bogey 4. My good round is going south quickly! 6-OVER through 15.
16. 4-Par: 385 Yards: I hit a good drive down the right side but catch the rough. With the trees in play on my GW second shot, I aim 20 feet left of the pin and hit it exactly there. My birdie putt does not come close and I settle for a Par 4. 6-OVER through 16.
17. 4-Par: 400 Yards: I hit my drive and ask "Where'd that go?" as we are now playing into the sinking sun. But I am OK down the right side. I hit a 9-iron from 130 but it powers long and left into the heavy rough. I then blade my chip but it is slowed by the heavy rough and trickles to only 8 feet. I miss the putt and settle for a Bogey 5. I am now one shot higher than I would ever like to be and want to birdie the last. 7-OVER through 17.
18. 4-Par: 414 Yards: I hit my drive and again have no idea where it is - but it felt good. My playing partners all start enthusing over the tee shot - which may be the first time all day they have done this (they were all much longer than me). I get up the hill and realize that I have cut the corner slightly and am only 130 yards. I hit a good PW at the stick, but it comes up just short in the fringe. I have only 20 feet to the pin, but my putt slides 4-feet past and to the right. I make the save for a Par 4, but feel that I have missed by 1 or possibly 2 shots. I am despondent. 7-OVER through 18.
BACK NINE: 5-OVER 40
SECOND ROUND: 7-OVER 77
Stats:Greens=7/18, Fairways=8/14, Putts=29, Birdies=0

I get to the clubhouse, phone my brother and father, announcing sadly that I think I have just missed out. I hang my head in shame and trudge down to see how the dew sweepers have done. To my surprise, the scores are quite high! People haven't played well again! I do the math and instantly realize that it is very likely that I will wind up in a playoff - if I don't make it in outright. My mood picks up.

Dermott eventually arrives at the clubhouse to pick me up, and I have to announce that our departure must be delayed until all the scores are in. As the scores continue to mount, we reach the point where I realize that a playoff is now the worst outcome - and that I am assured of a chance of advancing - the only question being how many people will be in the playoff - and how many spots they will be fighting for.

After a long delay, the details of the playoff are finally decided. There are 6 of us finished at 156 - and we will be playing for 5 spots. These are excellent odds. Only one of us will not qualify. My goal is to par the first hole, and let the unlucky people who bogey trudge on to the second tee. It is a good plan.

Victoria City Amateur: Sudden Death Playoff
1. 4-Par; 397 Yards: The six of us draw lots to see who goes first. I draw number "5" - which pleases me (I did not want #1). The first guy hits a hook into the fairway bunker. The second guy hits the trees overhanging the tee box and winds up in the fairway but 240 yards from the green. The third guy splits the fairway, and the fourth guy also hits it into the fairway bunker. I hit my drive and have no idea where it is. The marshall says "It's OK - you should be left of the bunker." I ask if I need to hit a provisional but am told that I do not. The last guy hits a booming drive down the middle - the best of the bunch.

The guy who hit the trees now hits his second, and hits it well, but winds up in the greenside bunker to the right of the green. "That's a bogey," I somehow think - though I try to stay focused on my shot. I am next to go, and am faced with 168 from the left rough - no trees to worry about. I was lucky. Although we are into the wind, I decide to hit a 7-iron, as a shot from short of the green is easy, while shots from over the green are not (and there is a road there too). My shot is perfectly struck, and rolls up onto the green about 40 feet below the hole. I am well pleased. One guy in the bunker leaves it 40 yards short, while the other bunkerman hits it onto the green - a nice shot! One fairway guy hits a poor shot into the leftside bunker, and the other fairwayguy hits the green. Three of us are on the green, two are in the bunker, and one is well short in the fairway.

The guy who was 40 yards short in the fairway hits a wonderful chip to about two feet. A clutch shot under the circumstances. Rightbunkerguy is next and he leaves it in the bunker - and now up against the lip. He is lucky to blast his next one out to the fringe - leaving a 30 footer for bogey. I am starting to feel relieved.

Leftbunkerguy now hits a good shot to about 20 feet above the hole. I am next. I line up my 40 foot putt - which is on about the same line as my chip from earlier. I know that it's a slow putt, so I give it some speed and it starts rolling nicely - it looks pretty good - and it goes in! I make a completely unnecessary but clutch birdie and am officially through to the BC Amateur!

The other guys who hit the green both easily two-putt, and the guy who chipped it close makes his par save. This leaves it down to the two guys who found the bunker. The one who had the long bogey putt hits a poor putt, and leaves it 6-feet below the hole. The other guy has a chance to advance with a two-putt but he also hits a poor putt and runs it 5 feet past. Not clutch. But the first guy misses his double bogey and is eliminated with a triple-bogey 7. The second guy now misses his bogey putt and advances with a double-bogey 6.

I head back to the car where is Dermott is waiting - but I no longer have time to catch the ferry, and I have to go home to spend another night in Victoria - and then proceed to the ungodly 7AM ferry (and still arrive at work on time). The complication? I only set out enough food to get Chance and Slippers through the weekend - and am certain they will be most unhappy not to see me till Monday evening. I solve this dilemma by taking a long break at lunch to "meet with two old friends" and go home and fill up their food bowl. Though terribly upset with me, they come around and purr their feline hearts out - happy to have me back in Vancouver.

Victoria City Amateur: Final Reflections
I did not play particularly well, but managed to gut it out in difficult conditions. But I know I was lucky and it just as easily could have gone the other way - with me missing by one shot and whinging and moaning about how a missed 1-footer cost me a spot. But I don't care now. I'm through - and I'm happy. Now I must find a golf game that will allow me to make the cut - or heaven forbid - contend for the BC Amateur Championship.

Final results are posted here.

Day 234: Victoria City Amateur 2005 - Day One

Some days are about striving for success, while some days are about just hanging on for dear life until everyone else is dead. You never know which day you're going to get.

Victoria City Amateur: Introduction

For the third successive year, I chose to spend the last weekend in May golfing in the Zone 5 Amateur, which I will hereafter refer to by its more traditional name of "Victoria City Amateur". This is the qualifier for the BC Amateur, which is to be held in mid-July at the Gorge Vale Golf Club right here in Victoria. As the tournament will be in Victoria, a strong field is expected. But the good news is that the host zone for the BCs is always awarded additional spots - so we were playing for 25 places - and not the more traditional 17 or 18.

A cagey old veteran, I have played in the 2002 Amateur in Richmond (qualifying through the Vancouver Zone that year for some reason), the 2003 Amateur in Fort St. John, but not the 2004 tournament in Vernon. I hoped to erase the bad memories of a year before with a convincingly low and easy qualification. And once at the BCs - I plan to actually, finally, and convincingly make the cut.

The weather on Saturday May 28th was sunny and warm as we neared the end of a record-breaking May heat wave. But as we felt the change in the weather (as more seasonably mild weather rolled in), the winds began to pick up - which is a serious menace at the exposed Victoria Golf Club. I may be a low-ball player with a crafty knack around the greens - but I too feared the effects of the deadly wind and knew that low scores would be a rarity today.

In a break with tradition, my dad was unable to caddy for me due to his recent surgeries - and I trudged the long fairways all by my lonesome. But enough of the buildup - let's take a hole-by-hole look at how I did.


Victoria City Amateur: Day One - Victoria
1. 5-Par; 502 Yards: Into a howling gale, I hit a nice driver down the right side which drew slightly but stayed in the right rough. So far so good! Rather than risk a preposterous 5-wood second shot, I hit a nice 6-iron down the fairway leaving myself 75 yards. I hit an indifferent LW to 25 feet. The greens were very slick, and I foolishly ran my first putt a full 10 feet past the hole and missed the comebacker. Bogey 6. 1-OVER through 1.
2. 3-Par; 145 Yards: The wind was blowing into us and right to left. I hit a nice 8-iron to the back fringe - leaving but 25 feet. I hit a nice lag to a foot and tapped in for a Par 3. 1-OVER through 2.
3. 4-Par; 402 Yards: This is a highly treacherous hole with Beach Drive running down the left side - a hook is no good! And the green slopes massively from back to front - you must leave an uphill putt. I hit a beautiful downwind drive that started down the right side but drew back into the fairway - leaving only 115 yards in. I hit a poor GW to a good spot 35 feet below the hole but again on the fringe. I almost holed the putt and tapped in for a Par 4. 1-OVER through 3.
4. 4-Par; 362 Yards: Into the wind, I hit an OK drive safely down the rough between the 3rd and 4th holes. For my second shot, I punched an 8-iron from 140 just through the back fringe leaving but 20 feet. After a good lag, it was an easy Par 4. 1-OVER through 4.
5. 4-Par; 324 Yards: A fiendish short hole with water all down the right. But that is not the real hazard on the hole. The true danger of this hole is the green which has a serious slope from back to front. It is not uncommon to see people putt right off the green here. I hit a simple 4-iron down the fairway leaving 115 to the hole. I hit a good GW to 15 feet. Playing almost 10-feet of break, my birdie putt did not scare the hole and I made a nice 4-foot save for a Par 4. 1-OVER through 5.
6. 4-Par; 341 Yards: I hit a nice 3-iron up the hill to the centre of the fairway. From there I hit a 95 yard LW to just short of the green. My birdie putt from the fringe came up a full 6-feet short - but I made a good save and put it in for a Par 4. 1-OVER through 6.
7. 4-Par; 369 Yards: This is the signature hole at Victoria - water all down the left side - and another fiendishly diabolical green. I hit a good 3-iron down the middle, but hooked my PW approach from 130, leaving a treacherous 40 foot uphill putt. But I hit a good putt to 2-feet and tapped in for a Par 4. 1-OVER through 7.
8. 3-Par; 115 Yards: This short hole is anything but a pushover as the sea winds blowing from right to left whip the exposed golfers. I hit a punch PW at the right edge of the green and watch the ball sail all the way across the green towards the left tucked pin - almost into the bunker. I hit the 20 footer from the fringe only inches short of the cup for a tap-in Par 3. 1-OVER through 8.
9. 3-Par; 194 Yards: We watch in horror as a golfer in the group ahead spends a full five-minutes searching for his ball in the weeds to the right, then marches back to the tee and hits a companion ball right back at the same weeds. Fortunately he finds this second ball and we are eventually able to proceed. I hit a reaction 5-iron shot short and left into the large protecting bunker, a full 40 yards from the hole. From there I skull a GW over the green and watch it bounce down towards the edge of the wood. I am able to hack the ball out to the back rough, and then chip it a full 10-feet past the hole. Fortunately, I make the uphill putt for a fortunate Double Bogey 5. 3-OVER through 9.
FRONT NINE: 3-OVER 37
10. 4-Par; 350 Yards: Cursing myself for ruining a good front nine, I proceed to hit a gentle duff 3-iron barely 40 yards into a bush in front of the tenth tee. My jaw drops as I wonder what on earth I have just done. I am forced to retee (now hitting 3) and pipe it down the right side just into the rough. From there, I hit a beautiful PW over a protecting tree to about 20 feet from the pin. I leave the bogey bid just shy and settle for another Double-Bogey 6. 5-OVER through 10.
11. 4-Par; 438 Yards: Playing directly into the wind, this is a long and difficult par-4. I hit a good drive down the right side of the fairway - but still have 200 yards to the middle of the green - but the pin is all the way at the back of the green. I hit a hard hooking 3-iron that takes a hard bounce left towards the road. Oh no! I hit my provisional ball into the green side bunker on the left side. I reach the green and discover my ball right on the OB line - but we are able to determine that it is in bounds - by about 2 inches. I have to stand on the other side of the OB wire (so I have a backswing) and face a 20 yard lob shot over a bunker from heavy rough. I somehow hit the shot to 8 feet and make the putt for an improbable Par 4! 5-OVER through 11.
12. 5-Par; 521 Yards: I belt a great tee shot right down the middle of this downwind reachable par five, leaving only 234 yards. For some reason I decide to hit a 3-iron, and again it lets me down - bounding through the left hand bunker - but safely into the rough 10 yards short and left of the green. I hit an indifferent lob shot that catches the hill on the green and sticks 25 feet short of the pin. My birdie putt does not fall and I settle for a disappointing Par 5. 5-OVER through 12.
13. 3-Par; 158 Yards: I hit a thin blocked 7-iron over the right hand bunker into the rough. From here I hit a great running chip shot to 4-feet and make the putt for a Par 3. 5-OVER through 13.
14. 3-Par; 194 Yards: This downhill par-three gives you a great view of the parking lot which you can easily reach with an ambitious hook. I hit another thin blocked 6-iron just over the right hand bunker into the rough. I almost hole out the chip shot but it keeps running a full 6-feet past the hole. But I calmly putt it in for another Par 3. 5-OVER through 14.
15. 4-Par; 404 Yards: Perhaps out of pity, I decide to give the 3-iron another chance. This is a mistake as a driver should have been the club on this extreme dogleg left into the wind. I hit another hard hook into the trees protecting the corner of the dogleg. Without a shot forward, I punch it into the fairway leaving only 150 to the pin. I then hit a brutally long/left hook/punch 7-iron into some patchy rough. Faced with a difficult lie, I blade a SW into the back of a bunker - leaving an impossible shot. I am already lying 4 and am staring triple bogey in the face! I hit a decent shot but leave it on the front fringe. After watching my playing partner hole a shot from the fringe, I resolve to do the same - but run it six feet past the hole and miss the comeback putt - resulting in a horrendous QUADRUPLE BOGEY 8. 9-OVER through 15.
16. 4-Par; 356 Yards: A little steamed at ruining my round in such a ridiculous fashion, I go and hit a weakly blocked driver and am lucky not to be in one of the bunkers on the right. I hit a punch PW to the back fringe - only 30 feet from the hole. I hit a great chip to just over 1 foot. After calmly waiting for my playing partners to finish, I replace my ball, line it up, step up and miss the 1-foot putt weakly to the right. Hmmmmm. I look to the skies - but there is no answer for my ridiculous Bogey 5. 10-OVER through 16.
17. 5-Par; 450 Yards: A very short par-five, made more difficult because it plays into the wind. I hit a hooky decent shot down the middle, leaving 208 to the pin. From there I hit a cut 3-iron to just short of the green. Not bad - maybe I should try to cut all my long irons! I hit a great chip that mysteriously checks up 6-feet short of the pin, but ram in the birdie putt for my first tweeter of the day. Birdie 4. 9-OVER through 17.
18. 4-Par; 390 Yards: I hit a solid if unspectacular hook drive down the left hand side, leaving but a GW in. But my wedge is woeful - and finishes 50 feet right of the pin in the fringe. I charge the birdie bid 6 feet past the hole, but calmly make the putt for a nice save of a Par 4. 9-OVER through 18.
BACK NINE: 6-OVER 42
FIRST ROUND: 9-OVER 79
Stats:Greens=5/18, Fairways=7/13, Putts=26, Birdies=1

Disappointed with my performance, I head home with nary a glance at the leaderboard, knowing that my Sunday time will be too early on the morrow. Dermott and I then proceed to SilverCity where we enjoy a late showing of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. I found the movie very good - far better than I expected - and it made me want to quickly watch Episode IV (which I will always call simply "Star Wars" - and never "A New Hope"). Hayden Christensen did a much better job, methinks, and there were definitely fewer children seen (except for the unfortunate Jedi Younglings).

Now read Victoria City Amateur 2005 - Day Two

Day 233: Summer Sun

Today is a good day.

The sun shines brightly with highs of 29 degrees inland expected. All is right with the world. Summer is here: are you ready?

We are only at the end of May, but my summer is pretty solidly booked. Most/all of it is due to golf trips of various forms. Here is the complete schedule, at which you may look and shake your head dismissively.

May 28/29: Victoria City Amateur
This coming weekend I play in the Victoria City Amateur - Saturday 2:28 at Victoria, followed by a second round on Sunday at Royal Colwood. This is the qualifier for the BC Amateur which is July 12-15 at Gorge Vale in Victoria. It will be a bit tougher to make it this year - because normally many Victoria golfers don't like to leave the island; they play in the City Amateur with no intention of going on to the BCs. But this year they will all be gunning for the spots - so I will need my A-Game.

June 3-5: Golf Road Trip to the Okanagan
I will be journeying to Vernon again this year with some colleagues from work (but mainly from my old workplace). There are three games scheduled at Predator Ridge, Gallagher's Canyon, and the nearby Spallumcheen - the first two of which are excellent courses. The downside? Sleeping on an air mattress in a room where people are likely to be eating at odd hours.

June 11-12: Free Weekend #1

June 14: Uplands Pro-Am
I journey back to Uplands for a Tuesday offday to play in the Times-Colonist Open Pro-Am. As the reigning club champion, they graciously gave me a free spot in the pro-am - and I hope to use this opportunity to beat my professional playing partner.

June 18-25: Canadian Club Champions Championship
I journey to Sault Ste. Marie for an entire week to play in the Canadian Club Champions Championship. This trip is paid for by Uplands and should be a lot of fun. I hope to contend - and if things go well - hoist the cup high with tears in my eyes on a warm Ontario afternoon.

July 2-8: Balfour Open
I take another week's holiday to journey up to Balfour, BC for the Balfour Open (aka Kootenay Loop). This should be a fun road trip with Jeff, Peter, Kevin, and other ne'er-do-wells (Kevin's brother is the local pro at the course). Though this will be purely R&R - I do expect to win (if I am deemed eligible...).

July 9-10: Ledgeview Amateur, Abbotsford
We return from Balfour a little older and a little wiser to contest the Ledgeview Amateur in Abbotsford. This is a great course with tough greens. I just hope that no one has the shakes from excessive drinking. A great tournament.

July 11-15: BC Amateur, Gorge Vale - Victoria, BC
Depending on the results of this weekend's qualifier, I journey to Victoria for the BC Amateur. I've played in the BCs twice (2002, 2003) but have yet to make the cut - missing by 3 shots in 2002, and only 2 shots in 2003. Will this be the year? Yes.

July 23-24: Free Weekend #2. BBQ!

July 30-August 1: Rivershore Amateur, Kamloops BC
This is a fun tournament where I have tradtionally had success (two top-tens in my career). I love the course and it suits my game.

August 6-7: Salt Spring Invitational, Ganges BC
A highlight of the year. I get to play a tournament on the course my dad grew up on and that my grandfather helped to build. I contended last year but finished a few shots shy.

August 13-14, 20-21, 27-28: Uplands Club Championship, Victoria BC
The summer finishes with a successful defence of my hard-earned Club Championship.

September 3-6: Free Weekend #3 - Labour Day!

Have a great summer! I'll see you in the fall when I will once again have every weekend free.

Day 232: Taking Care Of Myself

I've not always had a positive relationship with my body - living primarily in my mind and letting the body atrophy through poor diet and a lack of exercise. But I have lately decided to take better care of myself - because no one is going to do it for me. This body is the only one I have, so I may as well make it livable.

The first item on my list is to deal with the unsightly moles on my back. Now most of you don't get to see these beauties because, unlike James Marsters, I rarely take off my shirt. But they are noticable and annoying - and I have been lately suspecting that they are budding little melanomas which could give me cancer (as my brother helpfully pointed out this weekend). But I will go see a doctor and get an actual medical opinion before I jump to conclusions.

In looking at various mole removal techniques through a google search (and trying to determine rates), I stumbled into the fascinating world of cosmetic surgery. Laser hair removal, breast augmentation, botox treatments - they seem to be performed frequently in our fair city. A conservative by nature, I despair that women (primarily) feel the need to have these sorts of things done. I think you are all looking good exactly as you are! But then again, I can see these lines on my face getting clearer every day - so perhaps I too should fight back against Father Time and get a healthy injection of botox? Then perhaps people would stop telling me how tired I look. Well - either that or I could try getting a good night's sleep.

Day 231: That's Party Poker!

I have played a bit of online poker these last few months (I'm dead even in my limited May play, in case you are wondering) and there is one repeated event that amuses me greatly.

The beauty of poker (specifically Texas Hold'Em) is that the best hand does not always win and frequently the inferior hand "draws out" over the better hand. Both bad and good players love to complain about these "bad beats" especially when they happen on the last card (or river) - but the fact that they happen injects a nice element of randomness into the game and keeps stupid people from properly evaluating their mathematical chances at any time. And this is why like the oceans, online poker tables are full of fish.

Example 1: You have a pair of 5's, I have 9/10 suited. If we consider the hand strengths before the flop, we can see the following:
1) You are winning right now. You have a pair. I don't.
2) I have a lot of "outs" or cards that will improve my hand. I could hit a straight, a flush, or even just a pair of 9s or 10s. In reality, my hand is a slight favourite and has a touch better than 50% chance of beating your hand once all the cards are out.

Example 2: You have the same pair of 5's - but I have a pair of 9's.
1) Now I am a huge favourite against your 5's and should win about 80% of the time. You need to hit a 5 and hope I don't hit a 9, or else hit some sort of miracle straight or flush.

Just because I should win in Example 2, it does not mean that I will win. The odds show that a full 20% of the time, I will not win. I accept these odds and understand that when it happens, the world is not conspiring to defeat me and that the game and website I am playing at are not crooked. These sorts of beats happen in casinos, at home games, online, and probably in outer space too. I accept this.

This is not the position taken by many players on PartyPoker.com.

Frequently when there is a bad beat - or sometimes even after a coin flip like Example 1, the loser will feel the need to type something in like "That's Party Poker for you." The implication is that the conspiratorial geniuses behind the website are manipulating the cards to favour one player over another and that random chance is not occurring. This notion is completely laughable.

Aside from the question of what sort of complicated algorithm they would need to employ to create a non-random game, the question must be asked "Why would they want to do this?" A poker website makes its money from a "rake" on each game regardless of who wins. As such, they do not care who takes the pots, as long as people play. To ensure many people play, they have a strong incentive not to fix the games - because who would want to play at a crooked website?

But the conspiracy theorists persist in complaining that the site is fixed. They are crazy. They are stupid. They are amusing. I hope they continue to play against me because it is fun to play against people unconstrained by logic and reason.

Day 230: The Folly of Libertarianism

Like many socially-progressive conservatives, I went through a libertarian phase as a free-spirited young adult. I listened extensively to Rush and actually read the first 150 pages of "Atlas Shrugged" (Ayn Rand's objectivism is strongly related to libertarianism). The libertarian philosophy can best be summarized as "Hands off! I'm free to do what I please!" Now on some level this seems fair and proper (especially to a rule-disliking college kid) - but is it really the best way to structure society? I think not and will try to argue why.

I do think that most - if not all - governments could stand to be more libertarian. I don't have a problem with low taxes and my support for drug legalization on the grounds that "individuals should decide" falls within the libertarian philosophy. But I also have strains of paternalism in my make-up, and can't really believe that libertarianism would work for all citizens. I think it would primarily help high-achieving smart people: those at the top who don't need helping. I think that governments exist to help all people - even those who can't or won't help themselves.

So what is libertarianism? It holds that individuals should have complete freedom of action so long as they don't infringe on the rights of others. Economically they dislike taxation and have no problem with the unequal distributions of wealth that may result. They resist most government efforts to "redistribute wealth" through progressive taxation policies and the welfare state. They generally own guns (in case the government tries to take away their liberty), they like Milton Friedman, and many want to move to New Hampshire. They think that Democrats are cry-babies and Republicans are religious freaks. They think that governments are almost always a force of darkness and evil and should be grudgingly tolerated at best. Is this you? You might be a libertarian!

It may be wrong to generalize, but since this is my blog I can do what I please! The typical libertarian is an intelligent, successful, well-educated person who has a lot going for them - great folks those libertarians. Since they're so self-reliant and sucessful, they don't need or want anyone's help to get ahead - thank you very much. But they make the mistake of thinking that everyone else is like them. They aren't - which is why libertarianism has never been more than a fringe philosophy and is not taking the world by storm.

The libertarian is selfish. Some libertarians might embrace the word - but some will no doubt take issue. I see the libertarian as a book-smart college kid with a bit of money and a successful future ahead of him but lacking street-smart experiences. He likes his money, he's read some economics and philosophy, until one day it hits him - libertarianism is for me! So he says to his old man, a noble paternal sort trying to help him out by giving him guidance, "Hey - get off my back man - I'm a libertarian now!"

Thankfully, my libertarian phase has ended; I have somehow acquired a social conscience, and better respect the role of governments and organizations and no longer worship at the altar of the individual. I pay my taxes happily, and am happy to support our bloated bureaucracies - because it is the best and fairest way to run things. Though I respect some libertarian ideals and goals, I feel that they did not get the balance right - and are missing a heart.

Day 229: BC Election Aftermath

Gordon Campbell has been returned as premier of British Columbia with a reduced majority of 46-33. Considering that BC has not reelected a premier since Bill Bennett in 1983, this is an impressive achievement that should not be minimized.


Gordon Campbell Wins

The Liberals control 46 seats and the NDP 33 - pending the recount in Cariboo South where the NDP lead the Liberals by a single vote. Let this close result serve as another in the long list of arguments of why every vote counts and why you should vote. The new legislature will be more interesting than the last where the Liberals held a 77-2 majority.

The STV proposal has been narrowly defeated as it did not achieve the needed 60% support rate. But hey - a significant majority of you (57%) voted for it - so I think this means that we have not seen the last of STV, and may yet see this system make its way into the North American political landscape. But BC will not be the guinea pig - which is probably just as well.

The NDP have returned from the wilderness of the last 4 years with a respectable showing. They didn't form a government - but they look like they could next time - so they will happy with that. Carole James is safe in her job and will probably get a chance to contest the election of 2009 - which I am already declaring too close to call.


Carole James Loses

So the NDP are happy; the Liberals are happy; I am happy; everyone is happy.

Everyone except for Roggles and the STV crowd that is. Better luck next time boys!

Day 228: Noon is for eating

If you insist on eating lunch at your desk, then please do it only at noon. Nothing compares to the sadness and shock I experienced as I returned from a lunch break at 1PM to see a smiling co-worker happily bringing a fresh bag of slop to their desk. Now I have to experience the noises and smells of someone else's food until well past 1PM. This is not fair.

Please eat lunches only at noon so that your co-workers can avoid you.


A disgusting sandwich

Day 227: The Courage of Belinda Stronach

Profiles in Courage: Belinda Stronach

Belinda Stronach has made the courageous and probably politically fatal decision to abandon a Conservative party she has done so much to revitalize to join the last days of a flagging Liberal regime. She has forsaken her backroom backers, her frontbench colleagues, and her (presumably ex by now) boyfriend Peter MacKay. Such a drastic decision cannot be taken lightly, so we must consider why Ms. Stronach has made the move, and will see that other like-minded moderate Tories should follow.

Belinda Stronach has been a most prominent member of that formerly largest faction of the old Progressive Conservative party known popularly as the "Red Tories". Like Joe Clark, John A. MacDonald, and many others, I am proud to call myself a Red Tory. We used to have it good - we controlled the PC party and many Liberals (like Paul Martin) look and smell like us. Some elections have really been a choice between two Red Tories!

Now I may like it if all the candidates fundamentally agree with me, but others certainly do not. The Red Tory tradition is especially strong in Ontario but has never been large in Western Canada, which is more traditionally socially conservative and does not understand the more moderate Red Tory support for "red-meat" issues like gay rights and abortion. Now with the increasing dominance of western-based social conservatives in the new Conservative party, the Red Tory movement is on its last legs and this loss of Belinda Stronach may spell the death knell of a once proud movement, and see the last remaining Red Tories join the Liberal party.

Belinda Stronach is in a difficult situation. Political turncoats and traitors are rarely popular on either side of the divide - so she probably has a short and frustrating future ahead of her - never fully accepted as a Liberal and hated by the Tories, doomed to walk the earth like a latter-day Cain. She now has a small amount of power as Minister of Human Resources - but the question remains: Do turncoats ever prosper? Generally no - but an example of someone who managed to leave not one but two parties (which seems like carelessness) is my old cousin Winston who abandoned the Tories for the Liberals and then switched back, only to become PM and the greatest Briton of all time.

But the Conservatives should not let personal animosities rule the day - they do need moderates like Belinda Stronach if they ever hope to win an election. Her departure must be seen as an indictment of Stephen Harper's unpopular leadership. It may be good and feel nice to be a strong principled gentleman - but one must be prepared to compromise and unite different factions if one wants to be PM. You don't win an election by simply appealing to your base. No - what is important for Stephen Harper is the same thing that it has always been - convincing moderate Ontario voters that the Tories are not nutters, and to vote for him. This defection does not help.

Day 226: If

"If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;"
Rudyard Kipling - "If"

I think of these lines when I reflect on my online poker performance yesterday. Yowzers!

Day 225: Do You Eat At Your Desk?

I've now moved to my new location here at work. For the most part it's OK, although strangers can now creep up on me more easily - and no one likes surprises or interruptions.

But the biggest issue? Two of my new neighbours like to "save time" and eat lunch at their desk. It is disgusting to have to listen to them slowly munch on their apples and sandwiches. A plea to everyone: Use a lunchroom or car like you're supposed to and don't inflict your messy food eating on innocent neighbours.


An image of someone who eats at their desk.

Day 224: Sundays With Robidoux

Robidoux!

It's a fascinating fact: blog entries where I clinically describe my exciting weekend golf and poker activities receive less traffic than "op-ed" pieces on politics and other matters. So be warned now - this entry is of the first variety, so you may want to skip it and tune back in tomorrow.

With the Victoria City Amateur qualifier looming in but two short weeks (the weekend of May 27th), I have decided to ramp up my golfing efforts in a doomed effort to qualify for the BC Amateur - conveniently to be held July 12-15 in Victoria at the Gorge Vale Golf Club. As such, I played golf on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday: three days in a row! So this is as sharp as I will get - and I can only hope it's good enough.

And my game was certainly good enough on Friday. Peter and I played Mayfair Lakes at a twilight time of 4:39 and I had my best round of the year (in fact my best round ever - according to the good folks at butlercabin.com). It was a 69 from the back tees - a round in which I had but 25 putts, drained 4 putts longer than 10 feet, made 8 1-putts in a row at one point, and did not miss a putt inside 10 feet. I was very encouraged by this - and my mind issues seemed to resolve themselves suddenly and unexpectedly - probably due to the arrival of good play. I am continuing to drive the ball very well (my fairways hit has improved from 46% to 54%) - and with my putting coming around? I could soon be down to a scratch player, able to scare the lesser lights of the local amateur circuit.

Encouraged by my success on Friday, Peter and I journeyed out to play Point Roberts just south of the border on Saturday. Peter had optimistically booked two full times (accomodating 8 golfers), but due to apathy, possible miscommunication, and the threat of rain (which did not materialize), we ended up going off as just a twosome. I built up an early lead but squandered it with some loose shots to lose the match 2&1. We both fired 77 - which isn't a rotten score, considering the difficutly of the course and the fact that we played from the tips - something Peter insists on as he continues to baffle me with his length despite his rapidly failing health.

We had originally planned to have an outdoor BBQ on Saturday night, but the threat of rain (which did materialize) forced Peter to cancel it for another day. I hope a PWes BBQ happens soon, because a BBQ and a cooler of cold beer on Peter's upper patio is time well spent - there are great views of the city if you can withstand the windstorms.

Sunday morning saw me play at Riverway with the always reliable Jeff Robidoux. Dave Tsuyuki had cancelled, presumably due to the ridiculous rain coming down at 8am, and Jeff himself had to be lured away from his bacon and waffles to attend. But he was glad he came, because the weather eventually cleared up and we had a reasonably nice day. It was a seesaw match between the two of us (with me giving him 5 shots). Jeff hit the ball decently and putted well all day - and barring two extreme disaster holes (7,13) would have had a good round (he ended up 81). I had a Nick Faldo-esque round of 74 which consisted of 0 birdies, 16 pars, and but 2 bogeys - with all pars on the back nine. The match ended all square, and we avoided the heist of the Riverway Clubhouse to enjoy Fajitas at the Marine Pub just north of Byrne and Marine. We have come to the conclusion that Fajitas at this pub are the single best deal on food in the city. You get a huge amount of meat and vegetables for the great price of $8.95! An unbelievable deal - do try it out next time you golf Riverway.

After the round, Jeff and I discussed some of my recent political blogs. I enjoyed discussing the election landscape with him, and encouraged him to post his opinions, because my readership could certainly stand to hear his reasonable, thought-out, left wing perspective, to balance the right-wing reactionary comments I get from my usual readership. As a "Red Tory", I do support the welfare state, the rights of the poor, but believe that a pro-business agenda is the best way to achieve overall prosperity for all citizens. This distinguishes me from paleo-conservatives who simply want to slash taxes and let the poor starve in overcrowded gutters.

Far later on that fateful Sunday, I attended a country music show sponsored by JR-FM featuring "Curtis Lane and the Legends at the Roxy. I may not be a country fanatic, but in a former life I was regularly exposed to the latest country sounds on JR-FM and can appreciate a well crafted country tune. Curtis (who is normally known as Dave) was impressive to watch with a full band consisting of a fiddler, drummer, and funky full base. I'd seen Dave perform acoustic solo at a coffee shop before, but the sound certainly sounded better with the full band supporting. Their closing number of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" was great.

Unfortunately, they were not the only act, and were followed by another bigger band. Now I didn't have problems with the second band per se, but took issue with the extreme volume they chose to play at. As is well known, I am quite hard of hearing, and didn't need to add to my ear woes any further (attempts to communicate with me during the production were predictably laughable). After the show, the ringing in my ears would not subside and I thought "There goes another 2% of my failing hearing." I probably should start shopping for a hearing aid soon - they must have some funky "This ain't your grandfather's hearing aid!" models by now!

I attended the show with Bumbly Bee and some of her many friends and was even lured out onto the dance floor with the merry gang to shake my impressive country moves. My history with dancing is long, traumatic, and tortured. Though I have taken dance classes in several techniques on multiple occasions, I am generally singled out as the newcomer who requires special attention by any instructor. And my tall gangly awkward "calling attention to myself with lame movements" certainly doesn't help. Of course, I understand that the trick is to have fun and "sell it" with a confident strut - but I have to think that both me and the dance world would be better off if I stuck to remaining a wallflower.

Day 223: Winning Isn't Everything

"Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."
- Vince Lombardi



In reading a Roger Ebert review of the latest Will Ferrell comedy vehicle "Kicking & Screaming", I see that it relates to the topic of "Aggressively competitive dads watching their kids play sports and ruining things through insane pressure.". Roger Ebert suggests that if the kids ran things, then it would be more like a game and less like a sporting event. Freed from the craziness of weird dads reliving their sporting youth through abuse of the kids, then sport could be fun for everyone - some sort of imagined utopia of sharing and togetherness.

First off - I will grant that many parents cross the line and inflict emotional harm on the kids (especially fat kids like Roger Ebert probably was :). OK. Some people are insane and shouldn't be permitted to have children. But I take issue with this romantic notion of childhood innocence. Kids are not innocent - they like to compete too - well certainly most boys do. No - kids don't like losing, and may well cry or threaten to quit when they do lose - but they will grow out of this if they are exposed to losing. It is a valuable life lesson to learn to try hard, try to win, be a good loser if you lose, and a good winner if you win (which you will - because you practiced harder than the other guy!). And I wager that for those of you who harbour team-sports-related trauma from your childhood, the trauma was probably inflicted on you by other kids - not the adults - because who cares what adults think when you're a kid? But hey - I could be wrong about this and shouldn't try to speak for others.

I recall competing in sports at recess or on weekends with other kids when I was in elementary school. There was nothing non-competitive about the games of soccer, floor hockey, football, or baseball that we played. We kept score - and it was definitely about who won or lost, how many goals you got, and who was clearly the best player. If you lost, you were disappointed and resolved to do better next time. If you won, you smiled and people congratulated you - but pointed out that you were probably lucky and that it wouldn't happen again. Then 15 minutes later, you'd forgotten all about it and were playing math games on your Dataman. This is how things should be. Winning isn't everything: it is fine to lose - but losing shouldn't feel good.

We should not allow those non-sporting academic types who were traumatized at team sports as children to dictate how tomorrow's children must operate. Let the kids decide! Their answers may surprise you. No - they won't be super-crazy, but they will keep score and set up games and rules not dissimilar to the ones that already exist. Well - the boys will anyway...

As an "expert golfer", I've occasionally played in fun scamble tournaments with new players "just having fun" - and without much in the way of skill prizes. Sometimes they just will do random draw prizes so that no one's feelings are hurt and everyone's a winner baby. How nice. But what I will see at these events may surprise you. Inevitably, a complete newbie amateur will play hard for 18 holes and their team will do pretty well (despite them), and when they come in to the clubhouse - what's their first question? "How did our team do? Did we win?" Everybody likes to win - especially when you've put a good effort into something.

Sports and competition are on balance a good thing and teach valuable lessons which are directly translatable into the real world. Life isn't fair. Sports aren't fair. Nothing is fair. You compete, you try, you win, you lose. But at the end of the day, you all share a beer or pop and talk about how it will be better next time. You'll be a better, stronger, happier person. And you will achieve great things.

Day 222: Our Dysfunctional Parliament

Paul Martin wonders how it all went wrong.

Things are going badly for Paul Martin's federal government these days. From the continuing revelations of the Gomery inquiry, to the latest polls showing the BQ sweeping Quebec, with the Conservatives outpolling the Liberals elswehere, it seems like we will soon have a new election - with a likely Conservative Minority as a result. This election could happen at any time as the House of Commons is quickly degenerating into farce, but may well happen sooner than most Canadians would like because Conservative Leader Stephen Harper and BQ Leader Gilles Duceppe don't want to wait through the summer for their currently high poll numbers to sink.

On May 9th, the Conservatives and BQ won a house vote (153-150) calling for the government to resign. But the Liberals vow to ignore this vote, seeing it as a "procedural matter" and not a confidence vote. But make no mistake - it does not seem as though Paul Martin can hold out for much longer.

I think that Stephen Harper is making a mistake in being seen to be pushing for this early unwanted election. A far better model for what he should do can be seen in the last minority situation of 1979/1980, when Joe Clark's bungling led to a snap Liberal majority in an unexpected election. Did the Liberals engineer that? Of course they did. But they were seen to be taking advantage of Conservative mistakes, rather than actively bringing down the government through their own efforts. Pierre Trudeau had resigned as Liberal leader and was "reluctantly" called back to fight one more election for the good of the party (and the nation - given the impending threat of Quebec Separation in that first referendum at the time). People loved the notion of the aging hero coming out of retirement for one last fight, and Trudeau won a comfortable majority in the 1980 election.

Yes - Trudeau's performance in 1980 was classic. The "reluctant" politician (however disingenuous) is a vote-winner because people hate politicians - and love politicians who act like non-politicians. Most politicians love politics (of course) - but those who appear to disdain it (e.g. G.W. Bush, R. Reagan) are usually enhanced in the popular perception - even though this is always a transparent act. And Harper's happy dealings with Duceppe will not be quickly forgotten when by-then Premier Duceppe turns the subject to another go at Quebec Independence (perhaps in 2008 or 2009). I know that lots of BCers don't care a fig if Quebec leaves, but I do - and I'd prefer that we can get things to work properly in Ottawa.

No - Harper is playing a dangerous game and should call off the dogs. By all means he may still have his desired election - but he must be seen to be doing it reluctantly as the last option. This reluctance makes him look distinguished, enhanced, and prime ministerial. If he can do this, then he may achieve his dream and become PM.

Day 221: Reconsidering STV

As the days draw closer to the provincial election, I have done additional research to take a further look at the proposed STV system. As I understand the system more and more, I have to reconsider my earlier assessment of BC-STV.

The STV system is not merely stupid - it is really really stupid. I emphatically dislike this notion of "pruning" excess votes from the victorious candidates, transferring them to other candidates, then eliminating candidates who don't meet the threshold, and then awarding multiple seats in a single riding. I had originally assumed the STV system was sensible (and still rejected it) - but this system is truly bizarre.

To those of you who support this burdensome and quixotic process (e.g. Roggles) I will need to see a further defence of it in light of the new evidence. Don't bother simply defending PropRep as I will concede that we have a legitimate difference of opinion over that - rather please try to defend this particular STV method. I would like to be fair and reasonable about this and will give my readers a chance to see both sides of the story.

I have been called a "conservative" by my critics - which is "someone who resists change". I take this as a compliment. I believe that to change something like an electoral system this drastically - the new model has to be clearly and unequivocably better than what was there before. Since the STV system fails that test, it should be rejected. Vote "No" on May 17th.

To understand STV, please view the shockwave flash file at this link which I believe nicely demonstrates its idiocy. (A shout out to the anonymous source known only as "The Seahawk" who sent me this link. He has gone on the record also declaring this "a stupid system").

Click here to read what a blogger-defender of STV has to say.

Better still, I suggest reading the always-reliable wikipedia article.

But don't take my word for it on why STV is rotten, also check out this article.

Day 220: Enjoying the Workplace

Getting successfully through each day at work comes down to finding your happy space. If you're enjoying things and feeling productive, then the hours fly by and sooner rather than later you're home again, feeling good about yourself. That's the theory.

But a new seemingly minor hiccup has reared its head this week. Due to the recent cutbacks, they are moving us all to tighter quarters, and I will officially have the worst cubicle of all: no real walls, right in the middle of everything. It's nice to have a good cubicle and I will miss my current place. I like being isolated, and I like having privacy to get work done without interruptions. I don't think it's so much to ask? What happened to the good old days where even we lowly peons had our own offices and felt like respected human beings? But I will adjust.

OK - here's what I see if I stare blankly forward for too long and both my computers switch to their backgrounds...


Slippers and Chance are great cats.

Day 219: The Call of Grouse - Part Three

As the world wearily awaits the first grind of the 2005 season on this, the most prolific grinder of all time's 32nd birthday, I have noticed a lot of traffic on my website of people anxiously checking the grynde pages. They are all no doubt disappointed to see no updates whatsoever and must be wondering "Will this year ever get started?"

Well - it is scheduled to start today! Will it? Let's see who's out and who's in.

Roggles says:
No can-do today gents. I will make it next week!

Gilman says:
This is horrible of me, but I think I will have to skip the Grynde tonight as I still have a lingering sore throat from Saturday's debacle at Bimini's, and last night's Ultimate practice didn't improve it. I may actually be coming down with something, and I don't want to make things worse for Ultimate on Thursday. Never fear though, at some point this season Mother Grouse will feel my wrath.

Glenn says:
You have to go - I will be going. Damn the rest of them!

Snowy says:
Hmmm... now I need to go buy a watch before I grind today. Perhaps I should just go home and watch old Buffy episodes with Chance and Slippers? Yes - that does make more sense.

Gned and Renato say:
You must go! If only we were not in Europe, then we would go for sure!

Tin Foiled says:
I may be in Europe too - but I would not attend if I could, which I can't.

Snowy says:
OK - I will go. I will buy a watch at the WalMart by the Queensborough bridge and from there proceed to the mountain - this is way quicker than going through Kitsilano anyways. This is for the best. But my time will be abyssmal.

(Everyone nods silently)

Slippers says:
But what about my dinner? Is it not to be Whitefish&Tuna tonight?

Snowy says:
Dinner will be late - I'm sorry Slippers.

Slippers says:
I don't think I care much for this "Grouse Grind".

Please continue on to this companion blog for a description of the unofficial training grind that allegedly took place on May 10, 2005.

Day 218: What's Wrong With Our Electoral System?

There's always a lot of talk about the fascinating subject of "Electoral Reform". In fact, our province recently had a Citizens' Assembly make some interesting suggestions. Unfortunately, for the most part their suggestions are rubbish and should be ignored. Since most people voting in the May 17th provincial election are not even aware that there is also a referendum on the bizarre electoral reforms suggested by the Citizens' Assembly, I am afraid that they will get passed due to apathy or confusion. This should not be allowed to happen. Our system is already as close to perfect as it gets, and it would be a shame if things became worse for no reason.

Whenever there is an election, there are winners and there are losers. A simple fact of life obviously. Generally after an election, the losers feel the need to point out the obvious unfairness of the system, and to blame the electoral method for their defeat, or more often for the size of their defeat. An example of this phenomenon can now be seen in Britain where after the May 5th poll people are upset that Tony Blair has a 3rd majority government despite receiving 37% of the votes. To some people, this seems unfair and they wish it were not so.

Why do results like this happen? Is this not a tragedy? It's because here in Canada (as in Britain), we use the traditional "First Past The Post" parliamentary model. The country (or province) is divided into equal ridings based on population. In each of these ridings, you vote for a local politician who represents a national party, and the winner of the election is whoever wins the most ridings - not the most votes.

There are many advantages to the First-Past-The-Post system.
1) Local issues become important
- Some ridings are decided by national issues, and some by local issues. Witness the election of Chuck Cadman in the last federal election - or Respect Party candidate George Galloway in the UK. This wouldn't really happen in a system of PropRep.
2) Good local candidates are rewarded, bad local candidates are defeated
- In PropRep, if you're high on your party list - you're going to get into the Parliament, even if your constituents hate you. And a good MP, popular with his constituents, but unpopular with his party (such as Burnaby's Svend Robinson) would have a much tougher time in PropRep.
3) Elections are more interesting
- As a fan of theatre, the current election system is much more fun to watch. An election decided strictly on PropRep would be dull. Add up the votes, divvy up the seats. Boring.

So you've gone and read the Assembly's proposals - and you realize they're talking about a system of "Single Transferrable Votes" (which I haven't addressed)? Isn't this a good idea?

No - this isn't a good idea either. You should get one vote for one candidate. It's simple, honest, and fair. Anything more complicated than that is silly. And let me don my elitist hat for a moment: Do we really want a political system defined by a random selection of ordinary British Columbians? I don't.

So let us embrace our electoral system, warts and all. It may not be perfect - but it is as close as we're going to get. Say no to the referendum on May 17th, 2005.

Click here to read a different opinion.

Day 217: Controlling My Emotions

In a previous post, I made some ill-chosen quips about "cracking heads" and "laying a beating" on cyclists. I will be the first to admit that this language is inappropriate and I apologize to the cyclists of our city. Chances are that if I tried out my newfound fondness for violence, the cyclist would have the upper hand and I would get a bloody nose and face. For I have to admit that I am not a violent person, would be considered "classically cowardly" and am not much of a streetfighter.

But all excuses aside, I have been having a tough time with my temper and emotions lately. Whether it's throwing golf clubs childishly en route to disappointing scores, wallowing in endless self-pity, or having imaginary rants against poor defenceless cyclists - I have been feeling helpless to deal with work, life, and things lately. This sucks and I need to take power back, so that I can deal with simple life situations with a gallic shrug, wan smile, and a reasonable/measured response.

Does anyone have any tricks they use for controlling their darker emotions? I'm keen to learn.

Day 216: The Divas of the Road

If you've ever driven around the crowded streets of our city, then you know of a constant problem facing the ordinary motorist: cyclists. Menacing, rule-disobeying, self-absorbed, diva cyclists. These cyclists are a danger to our streets and they do it with a "holier-than-thou look at me I'm on a bike" grin that just makes you want to punch them out and watch their head crack open on the pavement.


When a cyclist crashes, it is not much fun

Of course, I don't want to tar all cyclists with my broad brush here. Many cyclists are good people, obey the rules of the road, and don't drive unsafely. But I rarely see these cyclists.

Have you ever seen a cyclist run a red light? They do it all the time. Have you ever seen a cylist weave between cars in traffic trying to get ahead. Yep - they do this too. Do you see cyclists signal when they turn? Ha! So most cyclists consider themselves "above the rules of the road" and march to their own selfish drummer. But then they want to have it both ways and expect you "the car" to treat them like another moving vehicle. I agree - they should be treated this way - hence my anger and annoyance at the fact that they cheat so flagrantly!

It is a fact that when a car and cyclist collide, the cyclist will be dead and the motorist will be sad. This may be unfair but is reality. You might think that this unbalanced weighting would cause cyclists to take the initiative in self-preservation, and ride in such a way to prevent deadly accidents? No chance! In our city, the cyclist (and the pedestrian) seem to think that just because they have the right of way (or not), they can drive or walk unsafely into traffic! They have a self-righteous belief that they are right and damn the consequences. Those motorists will have to learn!

Well - I have a news flash for you all: At your funeral, no one will note "He had the right of way."

A final message to cyclists:
Please remember that you are putting your lives in danger when you ride crazily through the winding streets of our city. Getting mad at the motorists for their "lapses" won't make you any less dead when your reckless ways inevitably lead to a final fatal conclusion.

Drive safely.

Day 215: Poker Cats

It's a quiet day here at Montrose. But what does a quiet day look like? Well - imagine me sitting at my computer playing and winning at online poker while my two beloved cats sleep restfully nearby. Life is good.


Chance and Slippers advise Snowy at poker strategy.

Day 214: Regarding Anonymous Commenters

There have been questions lately from and about anonymous commenters. I'd like to clear up this blog's position on it.


Anonymous strikes again

Do I like anonymous commenters? No. Do I tolerate it under certain circumstances? Yes.

A faithful reader of my blog commented anonymously about the BC Election with some controversial opinions which generated a heated debate. Before we pillory him for hiding behind the cloak of anonymity, I will say that it was patently obvious to me who it was - and though Glenn didn't recognize him, I suspect many others of you did. Good for you! I won't unmask him now, but will leave it as an exercise to my readers.

So I tolerate anonymous commenters like this when it is obvious to me who they are - or at least possible to deduce. This adds drama and intrigue and makes the blog more fun. If the rest of you can't figure it out, then that's no concern of mine: this is my blog.

Having said that, I hate it when I get anonymous comments that I have no idea where they came from. Commenting in the dark like this is pointless and frustrating. These commenters should know that they are cowards for hiding behind the veil of anonymity. You have nothing to hide - so why don't you let the sun shine on you and your secret world. Sign with your name/nickname and be proud of the views and opinions you hold. It's hard to respond to a shadow.

Or better yet, Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous, you should get a blog of your own. There are not enough blogs to read - some of my current blogging set (e.g. Roggles) post at a glacial pace - so why not add one more to the mix? The world will be better for it.

But you still value your anonymity? In that case, create a clever blog but don't ever sign with your name. No one will know who you are!

With regards to that last note - I remind people not to use my real name in comments - and don't mention the specific name of the company I work for. It's pretty obvious who and what I am - and you will discover it easily enough if you look - but I prefer to make it slightly tricky so that I don't get googled randomly.

Day 213: Thoughts on the BC Election

Correction: This post should be titled "A Lack of Thoughts on the BC Election".

Gordon Campbell

Carole James

Did you realize there's a provincial election coming up? Have you registered to vote? I haven't bothered yet - but I'm sure I will - it is everyone's civic duty to vote and I am no exception. You've probably seen all the yard signs, so you know something's brewing - but there's just not much of a buzz right now. Will this all change if the big debate tonight is entertaining? Will there be a classic gaffe or moment that turns the tide and galvanizes the population? I doubt it. Gordon Campbell and Carole James are not impressive - and no amount of media spin will change this.

This situation is unusual because, love 'em or hate 'em, BC generally has interesting politican characters (Bill Vander Zalm? Glen Clark?) and important elections. But I'm having a hard time caring too much about this election. I think the problem is that I don't like Gordon Campbell as a person or politician - but could never bring myself to consider supporting the trade unionists in the NDP.

So I will vote Liberal. But I'm certainly not voting for Gordon Campbell - I'm voting against the NDP. I still can't believe that the bastard got away with the impaired driving arrest in Maui. He should have resigned over that and we would have been rid of him. Oh well - hopefully we can get a proper Liberal leader for the next election.

One last note before I hear some criticism: Hopefully our provincial fiscal situation can continue to improve and they can eventually raise teacher salaries. I know my many teacher friends all hate the Liberals - and I have to agree with them that it is a travesty that teachers don't get paid more. Teaching kids well is ridiculously important, and pay should reflect that. So I think that teachers should be paid more, but I also think they should break-up that sinister firebreathingly lefty BCTF union and fire the many bad teachers, thereby leaving the many good teachers with good jobs and good salaries, and the full support of their communities.

Day 212: Where is My Mind?

Hello friends - how was your weekend?

This past weekend saw me visit Victoria and post a couple of rounds of golf at Uplands. I am excited that it is May - but this means that it is no longer "pre-season": we are moving into the heart of the tournament season with the City Amateur coming up in 4 short weeks. I was pleased that I got my BCGA card signed weeks before the deadline and with a handicap low enough to get me into the field. This may sound simple - but normally I leave it to the last minute and rely on my dad in Victoria bailing me out by getting cards signed, faxed, etc. Much better to do it myself this year.

But I am not ready for competition. I am not golfing enough and therefore not golfing well enough. I am hitting lots of good shots - especially with my driver which is the best it has ever been; I am having lots of wonderful things happen - and smiling frequently at the beauty of it, but I am all-around "not sharp" and do not sustain success for an entire round. Inevitably some little disaster strikes and my "good round" results in an "average score". The only cure for this is... practice.

This past weekend was typical. I fired two indifferent 76's. On Saturday, I was 3-over through 12. I three-putted 13 from 15 feet, and then made double bogey on the par 5 15th after having a wedge in for my 3rd... awful.

On Sunday I played a round with dad, my brother-in-law Darryl, and his friend Greg. We divided the match into three 6-hole segments (so you each played with each person for a stretch). The other innovation was to play "modified best-ball" (net of course). If the top people tied, then you would go to the "second-best" person. This little change made it quite interesting. But the matches were not very close, as Darryl was on fire all day, won all three matches, shooting a respectable 85 - marred only by an 8 on #14. He was particularly pleased to better Greg's 98 (they are usually very close). He was then heard to ask Greg "Do you think you'll ever beat me again?" to which Greg cursed under his breath. My dad had a couple of scores in the low 90s marred mainly by bad putting - but it was good to see him out as he hasn't played a lot since his surgery (he's doing quite well healthwise).

My Sunday round was more frustrating than the first. I was 1-over through 12 - which is pretty good - a couple birdies coming in for a 69 - right? Wrong.

Number 13 is a drivable par-four when downwind, and since I was driving it so well I went for it. I smashed it nicely, but pulled it slightly left. Should be fine... but it hits the darned cart path and bounded all the way over the 14th tee into the bushes. The next group found it so I managed to save bogey. Then on the difficult 14th, I hit a beautiful drive leaving only a sand wedge in. But I stone shanked it into the bush... and made a double. I then should have birdied both 15/16 (but didn't) before closing with awful bogeys on 17/18. Very disappointing.

Clearly my game is basically fine - but my mind is gone. Where is my mind? How do I get my mind back? Practice.

After golf, I met up with my nieces Jade&Paige at my sister's house. They spent most of the time jumping on Dermott while I took some impromptu naps on the coach (and ate Cheezies). All four of the kids had done gymnastics that morning, so they were showing me some of their stretches: Paige seemed particularly nimble and could bonk her head on the floor while touching her toes.

I then met up with Erika on the 6pm ferry, as she had been visiting a friend who's recently moved back to the island (something we should all do). I take the ferry a lot, so it's always nice to have company (and not have to listen to the voices in my head). It was a particularly beautiful night for sailing: the sun was still out, and the breeze was cool and pleasant. Of course, I can't verify that, as we stayed inside playing cards with a brand new BC Ferries deck. The game of choice was the traditional "Screw Your Neighbour" which Erika remembered under the more family-friendly name "Wizard". I built an impressive early lead through some lucky plays but Erika came storming back. Fortunately I was able to stall on the last hands just long enough for us to reach port with my lead intact. In conversations afterwards, Erika confessed that she had "let me win" because it seemed that I was feeling down and a small victory in cards was needed to soothe my battered ego.