Day 421: Country #25: Spain

Spain

Spain seem to always have a good team at the World Cup - but they always underachieve. Is it because the Spanish somehow lack grit? Or is Spain cursed?

No - I think they have simply been unlucky over a small sample size. Sports followers are way too results oriented and don't accept that "Things just didn't work out this time."

Many of the Spanish players have had great success with their home clubs in the Spanish League, and no one who watches Spain play feel they are a bad squad. I thought they looked like the better team against France for the most part - but they lost. Why? There was no reason. They just lost. It happens.

Spain has a few regions with nationalist tendencies: Catalonia, The Basque Country, and Andalusia. I spent a small amount of time in Barcelona but didn't pick up much Catalan. I remember that Catalan is like Spanish with the odd word that sounds French thrown in. The Basques (who are nestled in the Pyrenees between France and Spain) have an odd claim to fame - their language "euskara" is not Indo-European like most other European languages. It is a "language isolate" with no known relatives. And you thought learning Finnish was difficult!

Andalusia is also interesting because it was here that existed the last Moslem outpost in Western Europe during the Middle Ages. Islam had stormed into Europe in the early 8th century before being stopped at the Battle of Tours. The Islamic caliphate of Al-Andalus existed for quite some time (711-1492) but was finally destroyed the very year that Columbus sailed to America. 1492 - quite an eventful year. After the Spanish had taken the land back, they decided not to make nice with their former master, but instead chose to kick out all the Moslems - and the Jews too for good measure. Those who wanted to stay had to convert to Christianity which led to many Jews pretending to convert but continuing to follow their old ways. This led to religious investigations of the "conversos" which came to called the Spanish Inquisition. The Spanish Inquisition, being mainly about absolute obedience to religious dogma and the bizarre torturing of those who did not follow said dogma, was not a particularly enlightened movement and was villified (and exaggerated) by Protestant nations in later centuries as an example of Catholic idiocy.

Day 420: Country #24: Holland

Holland

It has been a strange thing these past two days with there being no soccer to watch in the morning! It is good when tournaments wind down and you approach the winner, but there is something to be said for those early days when there are games on constantly. I did fill my time OK by sleeping in.

This is also my last day of relative quiet at my house here in Vancouver before "The Great Trek", for I will not be home very often in these next three weeks. This weekend I am playing in the Ledgeview Amateur in Abbotsford. It is a fun tournament with a lot of good prizes if one plays well. I once won a nice Ping golf bag in this tourney (which was subsequently stolen unfortunately).

After Ledgeview, Chance, Slippers, and I are going back to my parents' house in Victoria for about 10 days. I will be golfing at Uplands and trying to assist with child-minding while both my dad and sister go through their hip replacements. The highlight of my golf will be Uplands Day on July 8th. And after my time in Victoria, I immediately head out for the Kootenays with my fellow brethren in the Joe Louis Society for the Balfour Invitational, where I will try to defend my crown against a motley assortment of challengers. It will be a great month.

But the first item of business is a visit with Peter to stay at his parents' house in Abbotsford for easy commute to the Ledgeview tournament (and fine BBQs). Interestingly, his grandparents were Dutch and emmigrated to Prince George via France shortly before WWII, so that's my Dutch angle in this story.

I refer to the country as "Holland" and not "The Netherlands" simply because Holland sounds better. I visited Amsterdam many years ago with TinFoiled, and quite enjoyed it - although I'm not sure if we were even there for 48 hours. Holland is home to a small Frisian minority in the north-east and Frisian is notable as the language that is most similar to English.

Day 419: Country #23: Ghana

Ghana

Ghana is a country of 22m in West Africa, and recently celebrated their first World Cup by reaching the round-of-16, where they were bested 3-0 by Brazil. Did you know that of the eight nations remaining, six are past champions? Only one past champion is not still playing, and that would be two-time champ Uruguay - who failed to qualify after they lost out to Australia.

Ghana was the first sub-Saharan African country to achieve independence, on March 6, 1957. The 50th anniversary of this milestone is next year - and Ghana is gearing up for a lot of commemoration. The end of the colonial period brought many changes to Africa, which are only now being sorted out. It takes time for countries to develop a good political culture where none previously existed, but I am bullish that Africa can figure things out in time.

Like many African countries, there are many different tribes in Ghana - over 60 - and this can make governing tricky. My experiences are that tribal issues are hugely important when times are bad, whereas when times are good no one much cares about tribal identification. A good example of this is Scotland, a home nation in Ghana's former colonial overseer. When the British Empire ruled the waves in the 19th century, there wasn't much talk of Scottish independence, but since Britain's post-industrial decline kicked in (and they closed the shipyards on the Clyde), Scottish nationalism has become more assertive. I'm sure that when African countries see more economic growth, most tribal concerns will diminish.

A key component of Ghanaian culture is the drum, which could be seen being banged at this World Cup. SteelCurtain came up with a good rule for knowing which countries to root for: "If their fans consist of shirtless fat guys banging drums". It was easy to cheer for Ghana as they played a solid up-tempo game and were unlucky to run into Brazil and not have an easier opponent (e.g. Italy).


SECOND ROUND STATUS
1. Steel Curtain 25 = 13 + 12
(Y: ENG, BRA, GER, ARG, ITA, FRA), (N: HOL, SPA)
T2. CA 24 = 12 + 12
(Y: GER, ARG, ITA, FRA, ENG, BRA), (N: IVO, SPA)
T2. BigJ 24 = 12 + 12
(Y: GER, ENG, POR, ARG, BRA, FRA) (N: CZE, SPA)
4. Snowy 20 = 10 + 10
(Y: GER, ARG, FRA, ENG, BRA), (N: JAP, NET, SPA)
5. Glenn 18 = 12 + 6
(Y: GER, BRA, UKR), (N: NET, JAP, SPA, SWE, ANG)
6. BumblyB 17 = 9 + 8
(Y: ENG, GER, ARG, BRA), (N: MEX, CRO, KOR, SPA)

Going Forward
SteelCurtain picks 3:NET, BRA, ARG, ITA. 5:BRA, ARG. 8:BRAZIL
CA picks 3:ARG, FRA, ENG, BRA. 5: ARG, ENG. 8: ENGLAND
BigJ picks 3:GER, ARG, CZE, BRA. 5: GER, CZE. 8: GERMANY
Snowy picks 3:ARG, FRA, ENG, BRA. 5: ARG, ENG. 8: ENGLAND
Glenn picks 3:NET, ANG, SPA, BRA. 5: NET, BRA. 8: BRAZIL
BumblyB picks 3:GER, MEX, KOR, BRA. 5: MEX, BRA. 8: BRAZIL

Day 418: Country #22: Mexico

Mexico

Mexico is one of the few World Cup countries that I have visited. I spent 35 minutes in Heroica Nogales, Sonora when I visited Nogales, Arizona in 2003. Among the highlights of that Arizona trip was journeying to Tombstone and visiting the Boot Hill graveyard. I tried to drive to New Mexico at one point, but I got tired and was afraid of nightfall, so I turned back before the border.

Mexico has a population of 107 million, over 50% of Brazil's (186m) - so the notion that there are more Portuguese speakers than Spanish speakers as suggested by the Brazil-focused SteelCurtain is simply laughable. Fact: There are 390 million native Spanish speakers (410m total) and only 240 million Portuguese speakers.

Relations between Mexico and the USA are relatively frought because of issues with immigration. Some estimates give up to 6m Mexicans living illegally in the USA. I don't know much about how things work on the southern side of their border, but I do know that our border with Washington State is becoming much more of a hassle to cross than ever before. It adds to the stress of a trip southward - now going to the USA feels like going to another country! I even get nervous at the Point Roberts crossing. One day, I will probably panic and get out of my car for no reason and just start running until I am shot in the back.

I have been almost learning Spanish for many years know, and it was one of my many failings that I haven't done better at it. I'm not completely terrible at reading Spanish - but if a Spanish speaker speaks to me, it sounds mostly incomprehensible. The problem is that I usually have a hard time even understanding English speakers in difficult situations (e.g. bars, boats) - so I must admit that I am just not gifted with an ear for language. My stategy may be to simply learn the written Spanish language - then I wouldn't have to deal with people at all! There may be great merit in this.

Or maybe I should simply take another language course. I haven't taken a class of anything in far too long.

Day 417: Country #21: Ecuador

Ecuador

Ecuador is a smallish country in South America that straddles the equator, which gives the country its name. The capital of Ecuador is Quito, but its largest city is Guayaquil. Guayaquil is a seaport, whereas Quito is in the Andes and sits at 9200 feet - making it the second highest capital city in the world (La Paz, Bolivia is 11800 feet). Ecuador had a good World Cup, but was unable to beat an uninspired English team in the round of 16. Their strong performance helped silence the critics who felt that Ecuador only did well in South American qualifying because of altitude.

A well-known Ecuadorian is Gerardo, who is notorious for that 1991 hit that everyone now hates "Rico Suave". He later became an A&R man with Interscope and helped bring Enrique Iglesias to the USA in 1998. So he may be mocked by peasants such as you or I, but he is smoothly rich today.

Day 416: Country #20: Croatia

Croatia

Today was a rare day indeed. For the first time this year I went for my lunchtime walk not only without the pouch, but without a sweater! It is truly warm in Vancouver right now (though the Caramilk McFlurry helped cool things down).

The World Cup Round of 16 is well under way and the carnage is coming fast and furious with two more sides eliminated today. Despite looking uninspired, England bested Ecuador and have gotten through to the quarters where they will play a depleted Portugal, stung by red cards and a thigh injury to Cristiano Ronaldo in their violent victory over Holland.

But enough nonsense, let's talk Croatia. Croatia (or Hrvatska as they call it) is one of the former Yugoslav republics which became independent in 1991. Primarily Catholic, Croatia was part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire for many years, which accounts for some of the differences with Serbia (which spent many years as an Ottoman province). The best known soccer player from Croatia is Davor Šuker, who won the Golden Boot at the 1998 World Cup where Croatia finished 3rd. But Croatia did poorly at this current World Cup and were knocked out after losing a crucial first-round match to those impressive Australians.

Croatia is now trying to join the European Union, which would be an important step forward for a country that was still imbroiled in the Balkan Wars but 10 years ago.

Vancouver has a large Croatian community: I know this because the Croatian Cultural Centre often hosts shows, so it must be relatively large. I almost went there once.

I am glad that summer is here. Summers in Croatia on the Dalmatian Coast near Dubrovnik are probably quite nice as well. The Dalmatian dog hails from Dalmatia, but the region's coat-of-arms is three lions and not three dalmatians. Dalmatia was part of the Roman province of Illyria, which was also the name of a character in the final season of Angel.

Dalmatia's Coat-of-Arms	Dalmatian

Day 415: Country #19: South Korea

South Korea

Like West Germany before it, South Korea is the last of the big divided nations due to the Cold War. But unlike Germany, Korea is not yet united and remains divided by two contrasting countries. But just because this hasn't happened yet, there is no reason to think that unification won't happen soon. And when it does happen, the resulting situation will be more difficult for Korea to deal with than it was for Germany because North Korea is half of South Korea's size whereas East Germany was 1/5th the size of West Germany - and North Korea is proportionally much poorer than East Germany was.

The other danger with an imminent North Korean implosion is that the South Korean capital, Seoul, is only 45km from the border. Any North Korean missile attack would destroy Seoul before anyone had time to respond. Although North Korea is a backward nation devoted to a strange ideology called "Juche" (self-reliance) which is closely related to Stalinism, its military is surprisingly competent and could inflict a deadly blow on South Korea or Japan before it is inevitably wiped out.

So is a military showdown inevitable - a conclusion to the long-running Korean War (which is only on a "time out" as there was never a peace treaty)? Probably not. But the problems on the Korean peninsula must be considered the greatest security concern at the moment.

Another interesting thing about South Korea is the popularity of video gaming there - specifically StarCraft, which is almost the national sport of South Korea (with apologies to soccer). Some of the successful Starcraft players even play in lucrative competitive leagues. Another popular Korean sport is kite flying.

A popular Korean film was Oldboy, which Gilman greatly enjoys. The greatest Korean golfer of all time is definitely K.J. Choi, always a good late-round pick in your golf pool. K.J. currently sits in T13 through three rounds at the Booz Allen classic, and looks forward to another nice payday on the PGA tour.

Day 414: Country #18: Saudi Arabia

Saudi Arabia

Saudi Arabia is unique in that it is named after a family - the Sauds. This is silly, so we really should just call the country "Arabia". The country is very wealthy due to oil money, but there are many challenges ahead. The Islamic movement is quite strong there, which is primarily due to the government's close ties with the USA. It is probably not an accident that anti-American popular sentiment follows an inverse correlation with pro-American government policy. The US does not know this as Bush's recent surprise visit to Iraq and a befuddled Nouri al-Maliki showed. "Yeah - great to have you here, George - no I'm not a puppet... oh rats. I'm dead."

Saudi Arabia is particularly backwards in its treatment of women, even by the low standards of the Arab World. Women can't drive cars or even bicycles on public roads. Apart from being ridiculous in the 21st century, this stifling of 50% of the population does not bode well for a country's general economic development. I do not believe in the equality of different cultures. Some cultures are better than others. No - the Saudi culture is broken and should be fixed by the people on the inside. Good luck to them in sorting this out.

The Saudis have had a good run in qualifying for the last 4 World Cups as Asia is not yet a soccer power. But they didn't do well this year and are heading home where it is undoubtedly very hot - far hotter than here in Vancouver. But I'm sure they'll be back in 4 years time, ready to give it another shot.


WORLD CUP POOL STANDINGS AFTER ROUND ONE:
1. Steel Curtain: 13 (Czech, Japan, Korea)
T2. Glenn: 12 (Poland, Angola, Japan, Czech)
T2. CA: 12 (Côte d'Ivoire, USA, Croatia, Togo)
T2. Big J: 12 (Czech, Croatia, Korea, Tunisia)
5. Snowy: 10 (Poland, Paraguay, USA, Czech, Japan, Korea)
6. Bumbly Bee: 9 (Poland, Parguay, Serbia, Croatia, Korea, BLANK, BLANK)
T7. Gned, Roggles, et al: 0

Note: BB would probably be ahead of me but missed sending one of the groups in her email (which I didn't notice until now). Interestingly, I managed to get both of these picks wrong anyways. We can assume that she "meant to pick" Italy as only an idiot wouldn't have picked them, so she probably should have 10 points.

HOLY CRAP: BREAKING NEWS - Canucks trade Bertuzzi/Auld/Allen for Luongo/Krajicek. Go surf the internet to learn more about this. This is FANTASTIC news.

Day 413: Country #17: Trinidad and Tobago

Trinidad and Tobago

Finally having tired of the tyranny of Grouse Mountain, three climbers appeared at the base of El Cerro del Aripo for an assault on the 940m mountain. They were to have been joined by Stephen Ames - but he was too busy drowning his sorrows after the Soca Warriors were knocked out in the group stage at the 2006 World Cup.

"I ran here from Port of Spain," said Gned, "but now my ass is sore!"

Roggles, who had hang glided from nearby Venezuela, set down his flurry/frosty next to his glider by the base of a coconut tree. "I hope that doesn't melt during the climb."

"It will if you have to wait for me!" said Snowy Cat. No one laughed.

"Before we begin, let us warm up in true Trinbagonian style." Gned pulled the hack out of his pouch and gave Roggles a quick downward-slicing knee pass which plunged down a mighty cliff and into the Aripo River. Although the current was strong, Gned was a trained triathlon swimmer and was able to retrieve the hack in his teeth after a 25 minute swim.

"Sorry about that lads," he said. The three hackers gave the sack a few inside right foot shots and recorded a two - which is zero.

"Enough warm up - let's tackle this mountain!"

"If it's just as well with you lot, I'll wait in the car drinking slightly-alcoholic fruity drinks," offered Snowy. Snowy had gained twenty pounds since 2000, and was reduced to ceremonial grinding. "Nonsense! I think you'll break an hour today," replied Roggles as he suppressed a wry chuckle.

Snowy's head hung low, but the three quickly began their ascent. Gned charged forward and was nicely away. Roggles and Snowy were a little further behind, and Snowy even maintained touch with Roggles for the first five minutes. "Perhaps I am cured!"

But it was not to be, as Snowy's health failed leading to frequent stops and the imminent threat of grinder-death. Snowy's time was an atrocious 63:12 - which although the best of three times recorded in 2006 was still the third-worst time ever recorded by the ceremonial grinder. "I could have done well if my legs weren't so weak and I didn't feel like vomiting."

Roggles did much better, finishing in a solid 41:34. "I'll break 40 minutes this year, if I can better avoid the Uncle Willy's buffet table," he mused. Roggles did not realize it then, but he had already beaten his best time from 2005, a lost season for all concerned. But although Roggles achieved great things, Gned achieved far greater things, finishing in an astounding 37:25 - a full minute better than the previous week and his best time since 2004, when he was but 31 years old. "Heaven help me, but I may grind my age this year!"

After reviving Snowy, the three grinders watched some exciting World Cup action from a hut on the beach. Just as Snowy was observing that Ronaldo was as fat as him, Ronaldo piped in with two goals in a crushing defeat of Japan. But Roggles was more excited by cheering on his beloved Socceroos as they earned a spot in the second round by tying a constantly-fouling dirty Croatian squad. "Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!" he shouted as he downed another VB. "Australia - why did I leave thee?"

As the day wrapped up with a beautiful Caribbean sunset, Roggles was introspective. "Do we have to leave this island paradise? I want to see Toco! I want to sell some homemade dreamcatchers at Point Lisas. There is so much to see - can we stay another day?"

"Sorry Roggles - but I'm afraid I have a 14 hour day to work tomorrow at the salt mines," said Gned. "I will be horse-whipped if I am 15 seconds late! We must leave immediately!"

So the three grinders left, safe in the knowledge that they would take a little bit of Trinidad and Tobago with them always.

Gned: 37:25
Roggles: 41:34
Snowy: 63:12

Day 412: Country #16: Côte d'Ivoire

Côte d'Ivoire

I am enjoying the final game of the group stage at this year's World Cup as there are four games played per day - more than enough soccer for everyone to watch. Unfortunately each group's final game is played simultaneously (to avoid boring 0-0 games when both teams realize they need a tie), so decisions must be made by the viewer on which game to watch. Today I made the wrong decision and watched a dull Argentina-Holland game instead of Ivory Coast's scintillating come from behind win over a demoralized Serbia.

I don't think that I am the only one who enjoys the African style of football and is rooting for an African winner here or sometime soon (this year's candidate has to be Ghana by elimination). Ivory Coast played well in all their games and were simply unlucky to be in such a tough group.

But what about that name? Why do they insist on calling themselves Côte d'Ivoire? It dates back to 1985 when the Ivorian government insisted that everyone use the French name instead of any translation. This is silly, but what makes it darned silly is that I suspect the Ivorians refer to "Les Etats-Unis" when talking of the USA. So I am going to insist on calling them "Ivory Coast".

I have noticed that my blog's "ratings" have gone down considerably since I started this World Cup challenge. It is tempting to fault the readership, but I blame myself for not being consistently entertaining. I do draw the parallel with American news programs not covering foreign affairs in depth and preferring to focus on soft news. So will I switch to "soft blog" topics like the state of the Canucks and the hiring of Alain Vigneault? Or should I give my thoughts on the summer movie season? No, although it is doubtful that the quality will pick up in the second half to salvage this project, I will proceed because I am stubborn.

OK - what about our Vancouver Canucks? I am in full despair mode. I think they'll lose Jovo and I doubt they make the playoffs next year. I also expect they'll sign some overrated aged free agent who will stink. Dave Nonis - you are being watched.

Day 411: Country #15: Costa Rica

Costa Rica

Unfortunately, Costa Rica played its final game at the World Cup today and were one of the first teams eliminated from the competition. Costa Rica is apparently an excellent vacation spot: many of the people I met in Cuba raved about Costa Rica (in contrast to "overrated" Mexico). Costa Rica is also the home of Rational Enterprises, which owns PokerStars.com, one of the two large online poker companies.

Costa Rica is near to the southern end of Central America, which is occasionally considered part of North America. But unlike North America, which combined into a small number of countries, Central America consists of seven different countries! I never understood why this happened, because with the exception of Belize (which was British), they were all Spanish colonies. What genius decided that Central America should not be united?

But this is not the full story, of course. Indeed - my knowledge of Central America was simply a bit spotty because these nations (except Panama and Belize) did confederate in the model of the U.S.A. as the "United Provinces of Central America" which lasted from 1823-1840. But the state didn't last, as it degenerated into civil war and broke up. The reasons were poor government, poor transportation, and little public enthusiasm for the project. There were attempts to revive the idea in later years, which were unsuccessful. But to this day, you can see the original dream represented in the flags of the region which share the original flag's two blue horizontal bars representing the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, obviously.

Day 410: Country #14: Italy

Italy

Perfumed eurotrash
Diving when they should stand tall
Italian weasels

Day 409: Country #13: Iran

Iran

"Quick! Come help me write this blog entry, Slippers!"

Slippers sat silently in his chair, ignoring the narrator and offering no insights into Iran, its Zoarastrian past, or its Shi`ite present.

"Chance - looks like it's down to you. Come here and help me write a trenchant analysis of the conflict between the extremist religious authorities and the more laid-back cultured Persian people."

But Chance lay dreaming in his hut, thoughts far from Iran and its mountainous terrain.

"Sigh. Slippers - what should I say about the Iranian quest for an atomic bomb and the folly of US Policy in enhancing the nationalist credibility of the extremist mullahs by trying to be the 'Great Satan' they are always called. Did you know that Iran is the 17th largest country in the world, and that its population dwarfs its troubled neighbour, Iraq?"

But Slippers continued his silence. "Will no one help me write this blog entry?"

At that moment Snowy looked to the window. There was no one there but a solitary pigeon. And the pigeon spoke.

"Snowy, if you want something done, you must do it yourself. Do not rely on your cats to get you through."

"I suppose you're right, Mr. Pigeon... so will you help me write this blog entry?"

"No," said the pigeon.

Day 408: Country #12: Switzerland

Switzerland

I journeyed to Switzerland for only a few days during my last European trip and never left Geneva, which was an enjoyable town. I enjoyed the "Walk of Peace" showcasing the peace-related landmarks in Geneva, which was a nice contrast to the war-glorifying landmarks visible in Paris and London. Another fun thing about Switzerland was the TV. There were channels in 5 different languages: French, German, Italian, Spanish, and English (though no Romansch channel). I love languages, studying languages, researching languages, but have somehow never become close to fluent in another language. This is the curse of growing up English-speaking in an English-speaking country in today's world. It is an empty gesture to learn another language when everyone else is desperately learning yours.

Still, I do wish I had properly learned French in my youth, or Spanish in my young adulthood. You will never be considered a genius if you are a monoglot.

The other thing I noticed was how wealthy Switzerland is. Those Swiss certainly do well for themselves! By my measure, Switzerland had the single most expensive McDonalds I have been to. But thankfully, the hamburgers were still delicious.

Day 407: Country #11: Japan

Japan

"Ghost Slippers and Ghost Chance Go To The World Cup"

"Gee Slippers, one of the best things about being a ghost cat from the future has to be our ability to travel back and forth through time."

"Agreed Chance - now let us journey to Japan for the 2002 World Cup Final!"

So the two spectral felines left Gilman to his Cheerios, and journeyed four years back in time to June 30, 2002 and the World Cup Final at the International Stadium in Yokohoma. There they enjoyed seeing a younger, fitter Ronaldo score two goals in the second half for a dominant Brazil team. "Germany never had a chance," observed Ghost Slippers.

After watching the game, the two ghost cats journeyed to the Grand Shrine of Ise in Mie prefecture. There they sat with a couple of the elders who graciously offered them some delicious green tea. "That is a very nice chabana," observed Ghost Slippers.

After enjoying their spectral tea, the two ghost cats journeyed to downtown Tokyo where they rode the Yamanote Loop for two hours, reading manga comics over the shoulder of big-eyed young Japanese girls. "I like this one about the ghost cat," said Ghost Chance.

From the heart of the city, the two cats decided to hike Mount Fuji and fish in the waters of Lake Kawaguchi. "Thankfully we are but spirits and cannot feel the icy waters of this lake!" After dining on ghost sushi, they laid down in the sun and rested.

"It has been a good day!"

At that very moment, Ghost Gilman materialized on the shores of the lake, carrying a large pocket watch.

"There you are ghost kitties - it is time for your baths!"

Ghost Slippers turned to run into a blossoming cherry grove, but Ghost Gilman was far too quick and corralled them both into their ghost cages.

"I will outrun you next time, Ghost Gilman!" said Ghost Slippers.

"Highly unlikely."

Day 406: Country #10: USA

The United States of America

I have been a bit behind in posting my World Cup blogs these last few days, but I have a had good reason - I was travelling through the USA! SteelCurtain (hereafter referred to as "Peter") and I took a quick trip down to Washington State for a three day golf trip. The plan was to play a gruelling 5 rounds in 5 cities in 3 days. We called it the "Bob Hope Classic" because that is also a 90 hole event. Peter has been killing me all year for some reason, but I hoped to do a little better - and maybe even win!

I went over to Peter's house on Monday morning only to discover that we could not leave right away as he had some errands to run. The first was that we had to go get flowers for his lovely wife as it was Brazilian Valentine's Day (Dia dos Namorados). This may not seem like an important day to you or me, but when your wife is Brazilian and you are leaving on a 3-day trip, it is assuredly a very big deal. So he went and got some lovely flowers (which smelled very nice) and also some new contacts (as his eyes keep getting worse) and also did some other things that I don't recall. With all this hubbub of activity, we were destined to be late for our first tee time in Port Orchard at Trophy Lake.

Even though we took my car on the trip, Peter and I negotiated a deal wherein he would drive, especially in the States where I have never driven before and don't really know my way around. I don't recall whether I asked him or whether he simply insisted (as I am not famously a particularly good driver). Anyways, it was a long drive with a 45-minute wait at the border. I really hate border crossings - I'm always convinced that they're going to arrest me for some reason. And I never get the impression that any US border guard in history has ever been happy to see anyone.

Although we were late, we were able to delay our tee-off at Trophy Lake because the weather didn't look good and the course wasn't busy. Since we had been having good weather here, it didn't occur to me that we might run into rain - and I was fully prepared for a summer trip only. Anyways, the first round at Trophy Lake was difficult. We played from the back tees (7100 yards) with wet conditions - the course was very long - and I know people who would have trouble reaching the fairway on some holes! But I was doing great for a long stretch and was 1-under through 8 holes - absolutely slaughtering Peter who was struggling. But it didn't last and I made a couple of dumb double-bogeys and finished with 78. But Peter ended up 82, so I had built up a 4-shot lead.

The second round of our trip was at the nearby Gold Mountain in Bremerton, the upcoming site of the 2006 US Amateur Public Links Championship. This course was slightly longer (7200 yards) and the greens were slick (the greens at Trophy Lake were not as fast as they usually are). Even putts uphill kept rolling. This was great for me, as I always tend to lag my putts - I wish every round was played on lightning fast greens. After a slow start, Peter played well shooting 78. I had a horrible start (6-over through 5 holes), but came on nicely to finish with 80. My lead was cut to two shots through two rounds. We then quickly drove to our next course near Seattle and sat down for lunch and watched Brazil beat Croatia 1-0.

The third round of our trip was in Auburn, at Washington National, the home course for the Washington Huskies. The back tees at Washington National: the "Huskie" tees were 7300 yards with a rating of 75 (the first two courses had ratings around 74). But we were not able to play these tees as the scorecard stated that you needed special permission (and the tees were not even set up). Peter still wanted to tee up from the Huskie teebox anyway, but I hate breaking rules (especially for no gain), so we played the normal 6700-yard tees. We both had early birdies and were under-par early in the round. Unfortunately, my wheels came off in a flurry of missed 3-footers, and I limped home in 76 (despite almost acing #16). Despite feeling weary, Peter managed to make a bunch of birdies and shot a 3-under 69 to take a commanding 5-shot lead in the Bob Hope. I confess that he didn't even seem to be playing his best, yet he shot 69 on a very difficult course. It's frightening.

Our next two rounds were to be in Bellingham and Blaine: at North Bellingham and Loomis Trail. We drove up to Bellingham and tried to stay at a couple of hotels there. But for some reason they were both booked up solid and we started to panic (or at least I did). Peter then suggested that we stay at his parents' house in Abbotsford, which seemed very reasonable (and quite a bit cheaper). Now I know his parents - and they are like my parents. 6am is the heart of the day, but 10pm is a late ungodly hour. Since it was almost 10pm and we were still in Bellingham, I worried that we would be inconveniencing them by showing up uninvited. Well I'm sure that we did inconvenience them, but he phoned them and worked it out, and we did it anyway. What parent doesn't welcome the return of a prodigal son, I figured. Since we were in a hurry to get there before his parents fell asleep, we didn't have time to stop for dinner and dined on cheese and salami from the fridge instead. I don't know if it was just because I was hungry - but it was delicious.

After a nice sleep, we both realized that we had no interest in heading back across the border to golf, so we settled for a round at Ledgeview instead. The rain had been very heavy that morning and the course was soaked. I jumped out to a quick start with two early birdies - and with Peter bogeying 1&2, I was only 1-shot down in the Bob Hope! But this didn't last as I started shanking my driver dead right at inopportune moments (e.g. #5, #10, #12). Peter recovered from some early eye issues and finished at 1-over 71, easily besting my 74.

After the round, we enjoyed some Boston Pizza, tried to solve all of our problems, and concluded that there was no need to play another round (as it looked like it was going to rain). So the 5-round tournament was shortened to 4-rounds. This seemed fine to both of us as we discovered that we are both in horrific mental and physical condition. I have never been so tired in my life - and that is sad. I need to get in better shape in every sense - and am going to simply do it rather than talk endlessly about it.

Final Results
1. Steel Curtain 300 (+14)
2. Snowy P. Cat 308 (+22)

So that was my trip through the USA. Now, I had pledged to do nothing other than watch soccer and golf for the next four days, but have impulsively agreed to do a grind tomorrow. This is probably a mistake.

Day 405: Country #9: Sweden

Sweden

While watching the World Cup, I find that there are some countries which I like and can easily root for. Apart from England, the Dutch are OK to back, and I have an good time rooting for those underdog African countries like the Ivory Coast who play an exciting style of play. I don't cheer for Brazil per se, but they are undoubtedly the greatest soccer power and it is good for the interest level of the matches to see them do well. I am also impressed with Ecuador!

The countries that I cannot support include France - Britain's eternal rival, and Argentina, as no England supporter can have a soft spot for Argentina. The other nation that I cannot back is Sweden - and this stems from my time in Finland working for a Finnish company. As an honourary Finn, I gleaned insights into the underlying evilness of Sweden that have persisted even after I was cut loose. It probably also comes from hockey, as Sweden is one of Canada's great rivals.

So anyways, I was watching the Sweden game, only to realize to my horror that I was wearing a yellow shirt - their national colors! I tried to tell myself that I was really wearing Ukranian yellow and was a neutral in the match, but I felt dirty from my mistake and won't let it happen again.

Remember - Sweden is evil!

Day 404: Country #8: Tunisia

Tunisia

Tunisia is one of my favourite places in the world - I almost took a side trip there during my last visit to Europe in order to see it. Why you ask? Well - it's because Tunisia is the location of my all-time favourite ancient civilization: Carthage!


Carthage

Originally a Phoenician colony, Carthage became a major power in the 2nd and 3rd centuries BC. Carthage fought three ultimately unsuccessful wars against Rome (then an emerging regional power) for dominance of the Mediterranean. These wars were known as the Punic Wars and are well worth studying if you are a fan of warfare. The most famous Carthaginian was Hannibal Barca who crossed the Alps with his elephants and during an exciting campaign administered a defeat ofRome at Cannae, a classic encirclement that is undoubtedly still studied in military schools today. Interestingly, Hannibal's family name provides the source for that old Carthaginian city of Barcelona.

A morose and dark soul, I am fascinated by death - and the death of nations and civilizations most of all. The demise of ancient civilizations is always interesting and should be studied by those surveying contemporary American politics. Yes - even today's great powers will eventually fail - let us never forget that. I wish that those names from the past persisted into modern times and today we saw the likes of Carthage battling Persia in the World Cup, with the winner taking on the Byzantine Empire. Wouldn't that be interesting to everyone? I'd certainly love to see the Hittites, Assyrians, and Parthians get another crack at it. "We won't mess it up this time, we promise!"

When we first brought Snowy home to our household (in 1984/85), my brother and I called the conflicts between young Snowy-kitten and our old cats (Polly and Mary) the "Puma Wars", in tribute on the Punic Wars. Snowy was a very active and intense young cat and she never shied away from conflict with Polly and Mary, though she was much smaller. Though these conflicts were initially acrimonious (as Polly and Mary wondered what this "thing" was doing in their house), they grudgingly came to accept young Snowy, and relative peace reigned for many years.

But Rome never accepted Carthage, and after the 3rd Punic War in 146BC, the Romans burned the city and supposedly sowed the land with salt to prevent their great rival from rising again. Of course, The Roman Empire went from strength to strength, and lasted for many more centuries before it collapsed as well, joining Carthage in the pantheon of ex-nations on the sidelines during this World Cup.

Day 403: Country #7: Angola

Angola

Angola, How I Miss You

Oh! When we left Havana back in 1975
I was full of strength and hope, so glad to be alive
Bringing revolution to the peoples of the world
It never seemed to unfold quite like Marx said it should

The Portuguese went running so Angolans could be free
But it was never clear just who the chief would be
UNITA stood on their side, MPLA on ours
And we could not be sure which forces really had the power

For fourteen blody years we fought; we really served them well
Appreciate us they did not - although we'd been through hell
They sent us back to Cuba, where the power's never on
Angola's now so far away, I wonder what went wrong

From Cabinda to Cunene, Moxico to Tombua
You are all I want to see; you are my Angola!
I love your dry savannah, I love Tala Mugongo
But now it's been so very long - Angola, how I miss you!

Day 402: Country #6: Australia

Australia

"Good day, mates!"

"Oh great. Roggles is in Australian mode," sighed Slippers from his hiding spot behind the couch. Snowy was away again for unknown reasons, and this time Roggles had been appointed cat-minder. Roggles had just experienced another life-changing moment of clarity and had decided to reacquaint himself with his time spent down under.

"Let's listen to a touch of the Powderfinger - or do you want to blast some Triple-J instead? I'm baking m'self a meat pie, d'you fancy one?"

"I'd prefer some tuna," said Slippers.

"No worries, I'll make ya a sanger - care for some beetroot, lots of beetroot, or only beetroot?"

Slippers looked askance at Chance. He could put up with Roggles and his all-Aussie, all the time show, but only if they got proper food out of the deal.

"Please feed us, Roggles," said Chance, meowing plaintively.

"Holy dooley - look at that size of that billabong!" and Roggles was away.

"Oh Slippers - now we'll never get fed."

"It's OK Chance, I know where Snowy hides the extra bag." Roggles had left the closet door open so the two cats ventured in. Slippers had ripped a small hole in it, and the dry food spilled out onto the floor.

"Amazing - an all you can eat buffet!" Chance was beside himself with delight.

"As god is my witness, I'll never be hungry again!"

Day 401: Country #5: Czech Republic

Czech Republic

Are you enjoying the World Cup so far? I enjoyed today's play - that was a nice result today from Ecuador. Silly Poland - why did I pick you to get through the group stage? I am certainly looking forward to tomorrow's soccer action. But what I am not looking forward to is my current decision to go do the grynde with Gned. I am feeling nervous about this and will probably back out claiming phantom injuries or conflicting appointments. Doesn't someone have a 4:30pm tee time somewhere that they desperately need me to make?

Anyways, one of the tracks that I recently downloaded and enjoy is a British Sea Power song "A Lovely Day Tomorrow", in a version being covered by The Magic Numbers. I heard both versions of the song (the original and the cover) but found that the cover was significantly superior. This troubled me because I had previously concluded that the Magic Numbers weren't particularly original or good, so it concerned me to discover that I was wrong - as I am seldom wrong. So I dutifully went back and listened to some of their other songs to recant my mistake, only to find that I still didn't think much of them. Perplexed, I listened further to the song and decided that the similarities with the Magic Numbers were not obvious. Was this what it claimed to be? I searched the internet and discovered nothing substantive about a Magic Numbers association with this song, but found that British Sea Power had released a special Czech Republic-only version of the song in 2004 with a guest lead vocal from the singer from The Ecstasy of St. Theresa. Was this the version I was listening to? Yes! The track listing of 5:01 matched. Obviously some stupid people on the internet couldn't figure out why British Sea Power had a female vocalist and lazily mislabelled it, and the error propagated.

The lesson? I hate it when songs are mislabelled on the internet. The other lesson? I am clever enough to detect this sort of thing. (But if I had read the file info rather than just the file name, I would have spotted the mistake earlier - so perhaps I am not that clever after all.)

For what it's worth, the song is about the assassination of Reinhard Heydrich by two Czech agents during WW2 - so that is the connection to Czechia and this blog.

Day 400: Country #4: Paraguay

Paraguay

Water to water
Landlocked dreams of lost glory
Viva Paraguay!

Day 399: Country #3: Serbia&Montenegro

Serbia


Montenegro

Gilman sat on his couch consuming potato chips - chips that his lucrative screenwriting job had bought and paid for. He smacked his lips as he tasted the salt and chip bits on his fingers. "Delicious!" Silently he flipped the channels on his mammoth TV (also paid for with his lucrative screenwriting winnings), wondering what might be on (for there was always something). When he turned it past Sportsnet, he realized that the World Cup was on. He yelped in delight, spilling some of his potato chips, which led to an impromptu cursing. Quickly cleaning up the mess, he was relieved that neither Chance nor Slippers (temporary houseguests) had stirred. "These cats need their sleep," he reflected.

"Has it been four years?" he mused at the TV as he donned his "Cameroon 90" hat. After catching a quick sniff of it, he whimpered "I should have washed this hat with bleach four years ago. It smells worse than Roger Milla doing the grynde!" Gilman laughed.

As he tuned into the game he saw that Serbia&Montenegro were battling the Netherlands. "What's the deal with Serbia AND Montenegro? A country with two names?"

He looked to Chance for an answer, but the cat was asleep, dreaming of trout fishing on Trophy Lake. But at that very moment a spectral shape floated in through the window.

"My word - it's Ghost Chance! You have returned!"

"Indeed I have, Gilman," said Ghost Chance. The spectre smiled at the well-fed live Chance sleeping on the carpet. "Gilman - I have come from the future to discuss the Balkans - for you have much to learn!"

"Hooray for Ghost Chance! So why did Yugoslavia fall apart?"

"Yes. Well - the reasons why Yugoslavia fell apart are complicated. Far too complicated for the short discussion that I have time for."

Gilman looked crestfallen. Ghost Chance detected his worry and changed his tune. "OK - I'll sum it up in one paragraph." Gilman smiled.

"The collapse of the federation of Yugoslavia was due to the long-simmering 'ethnic tensions' between the Serbs and Croats, who had fought on opposite sides as recently as WWII. During the time of economic uncertainty before and after the collapse of the Soviet Union's power in Eastern Europe, there was a resurgence in nationalism, led by opportunistic politicans like the Serbian Milosevic and the Croatian Tudjman. Everyone had a grievance, and since things were already in flux, it was a time for war to settle things. This was despite the fact that prior to the breakup, most Yugoslavs would not have wanted it. But wars do happen when economic uncertainty reigns - and economic uncertainty certainly causes war. It is a standard chicken and egg thing." Chance smacked his lips at the thought of chicken.

"But what about Montenegro?" asked Gilman.

"Well - after Croatia, Slovenia, etc. left, Montenegro stayed with Serbia in a rump Yugoslavia. I suppose they were just too lazy to become independent, didn't see a problem with Serbia, or just realized how small they are - Montenegro has less than a million people. But I guess with all the troubles Serbia has had in the last 15 years with Bosnia, Kosovo, etc - they eventually decided to vote in a referendum on May 21st, 2006 which needed a 55% positive vote. It passed barely, and independence was formally declared on June 3rd. So this a rare event: we are watching the defunct country of Serbia&Montenegro compete for soccer's greatest prize!"

"Ha! This is only fitting, since I am watching with a defunct cat!" laughed Gilman.

Ghost Chance laughed, and Gilman smiled.

It had been a very good day. Gilman fed Ghost Chance little bits of tuna.

"I wish I had form and could eat them."

Day 398: Country #2: Togo

Togo! Togo! (Let's Go)

I remember back to that sunny day
When disappointment ebbed away
You were lying on the grass
Carving away at your ibéji mask

The midday sun was scorching down
The kaka-dance went all around
The goliath heron overhead
Echoing the words you said

Togo! Togo!
Come on now, let's go!
Whether Lomé, Kara, or Dapaong
It's Togoland where I belong

And all the year on that plateau
We mined the limestone, high and low
But somehow, someway we grew apart
And granite blocks replaced my heart

So now I sit 'neath western skies
With western thoughts and western pies
But in my heart we'll always be
Together, walking through Lomé

Togo! Togo!
It's not too late, let's go!
The sun is setting in the sky
But there's still hope for you and I

Day 397: Country #1: Poland

To celebrate the upcoming World Cup, I have decided to write 32 blogs in 32 days commemorating some small aspect of each participating nation. This project is insane and is of limited general interest, but somehow struck me as something I should do.

The first nation on our journey is Poland.


Poland

Poland, a nation of 38 million people, is situated in Central Europe just to the east of Germany. It is famously one of the easiest places to invade (along with Germany itself) because it is so flat, with no natural boundaries to the west or east. The capital of Poland is Warsaw, or in Polish Warszawa, which is quite fun to say. Some good Polish names are Stanislaw and Małgorzata. I see Chance as being a Stanislaw if he was a Polish Cat. Poles enjoy their rye bread and pickled vegetables, and they even pickle their herring, which Stanislaw-Chance would enjoy.

The Warsaw Pact was the common name for the Soviet Bloc during the Cold War and I spent many a night of my youth considering the nuclear conflict between the two powers that would undoubtedly soon happen. We are fortunate that it didn't happen, but I fear that one day something catastrophic will happen with our nuclear arsenals. Empires don't last forever - impermanence is the nature of the universe.

Pope John Paul II was from Krakow, and Poland is still quite a Catholic nation. I received a Pope John Paul II bible from my Granny after my confirmation in Grade 7, and it is a great big old thing. Hmmm - I'm looking at it now. Nice binding. Anways, I am no longer religious (the technical term is "atheist"), but I do enjoy reading from the bible every now and then. But regardless of its literary merits, you have to accept that people have for thousands of years been well-versed in the bible and it has suffused all art of the last millenium (with the exception of some 20th century stuff). You are missing out on a whole layer of meaning if you don't know your bible or your Christianity. I see this when I read discussions of my new musical hero, Sufjan Stevens, and his contemplative folk-pop masterpieces. It is amazing the meanings that non-Christians will erroneously apply to his more Christianity-tinged songs. A good example of this is on "Casimir Pulaski Day", a moving song about loss, grief, and anger at God set on the Illinois State Holiday commemorating Casimir Pulaski, that Polish patriot who fought in the American Revolution (albeit for the bad guys). Non-Christians sometimes don't seem to get it when the "he" that the narrator refers to is actually "He".

Sometimes I think that the quality of today's Sunday School education has declined precipitiously.

Day 396: World Cup Pool 2006

The Stanley Cup Finals start tomorrow, and although I love hockey and will be cheering on the Oilers to their 6th Stanley Cup, it is hard to get too into hockey when the sun is shining on a hot June afternoon. No, I wish the season ended in May, because June is simply not a hockey month.

But enough about hockey. The World Cup begins this week and like billions of others, I am excited. Despite the German time zone, I plan to watch every game at home on my television. During the last World Cup, my brother and I would drink beers from the different nations that were playing each game day, and this is a tradition that will continue. The only decision now is which German beer to buy for Friday?

Unfortunately Canada is not in this year's finals, so I must look elsewhere to determine which side to back. Like many other Canadians, I will pay allegiance to my family's ancestral home - and since the alternative candidates of Scotland, Ireland, and Northern Ireland did not qualify, this leaves only England, a hot-looking squad fresh from an impressive 6-0 win over Jamaica in their last friendly. Hooray for England! I just hope that Rooney's foot is healed in time for the second round, because we will need some decent scoring punch to compete with the elites of the tournament (and because Beckham just isn't Beckham anymore).

But enough boring banter, let's explain how this World Cup Pool will be structured, so that you will know how to pick. Here is the format.

A Cat's Life World Cup Pool

Pick the following things in advance of the tournament:
1) Which 16 teams qualify for the second round? 2 teams from each Group. (1 pt)
2) Which 8 teams make the quarter-finals? (2 pts each)
3) Which 4 teams make the semi-finals? (3 pts each)
4) Which 2 teams make the final? (5 pts each)
5) Which team wins? (8 points)

A total of 62 points are awarded. The importance of each game goes up as the pool progresses (Note: this has been modified since the original posting).

I recommend the FIFA site for more information, but here is a summary of the groups:
Group A: Poland, Germany, Costa Rica, Ecuador
Group B: England, Paraguay, Trinidad and Tobago, Sweden
Group C: Argentina, Côte d'Ivoire, Serbia, Netherlands
Group D: Mexico, Iran, Angola, Portugal
Group E: Italy, Ghana, USA, Czech Republic
Group F: Brazil, Croatia, Australia, Japan
Group G: France, Switzerland, South Korea, Togo
Group H: Spain, Ukraine, Tunisia, Saudi Arabia

Read this to see potential Playoff Matchups:
(((A1 vs B2) vs (C1 vs D2)) vs
((E1 vs F2) vs (G1 vs H2)))
vs
(((A2 vs B1) vs (C2 vs D1)) vs
((E2 vs F1) vs (G2 vs H1)))

Then post your prediction in a comment on this blog. The contest is open to all, and picks are allowed until Opening Kickoff (Fri June 9th at 9AM PDT). Feel free to pick crazily as it is more fun that way - and the early results are always more random than most people expect them to be (though Brazil always seems to have a pretty good chance).

With luck we could have 5 or possibly even 6 entrants! Good luck.

Day 395: A Lovely Day Tomorrow

Summer is starting to arrive - next week's highs may hit the mid 20's! Sadly, today is yet another rainy Sunday, but it should be a lovely day tomorrow.

My golf game has gone from strength to strength recently as the wintery demons are finally being laid to rest. Last week, I posted consecutive rounds of 70-71 at Fraserview (par 72) - which wouldn't have been too bad except that I somehow lost both matches straight up to that medical enigma, Steel Curtain. So this made yesterday a real treat when I defeated him in a match for the first time in over a month - and got my handicap back under 3 where it belongs. This will be a good summer.

My latest project is that I have started listening to music again. I'm not sure why I had stopped for this last year or so - possibly some variation on being stressed and depressed, but I have decided that the time is right to figure out what is good and what is not. I don't have answers yet, but when I sort things out I will certainly let all of you know. General input from this blog's readership is appreciated.

As for the poker? Hmmm. Well - I won't say much except that there are upswings and then there are downswings. The upswings are good (sometimes very good), but the downswings lead to anguish, the kicking of soft cushions, excessive drinking, and impulsive decisions to deinstall demonic poker programs before they do further harm. But it is all good in the end if you can stand the variance. I don't think that there is a more feared word in my vocabulary than that one.

I was slightly sorry that I am not nearly able to compete in yesterday's Kits Triathlon. I wonder how they all did.

Tommorow's post will introduce the "A Cat's Life World Cup Pool", so please get your picks ready. It's almost time for some furious soccer action. I can't wait till Friday.