A Cat's Life

Friday, February 29, 2008

Entry 51: Happy Leap Year

Date: Feb 29, 2008
Weight: 199 pounds
Song: Billy Bragg - Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards

I've think that Feb. 29th should be a holiday as it isn't a real day, it's a "make up" day for the sins of the last three years. And since my salary is annual, in reality I'm working for free today - or I would be working for free if I was working instead of blogging.

Either way, this is a day to celebrate the wonders of the cosmos - not a day to stare at a blue computer screen.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Entry 50: Candle

Date: Feb 28, 2008
Weight: 200 pounds
Song: Vampire Weekend - The Kids Don't Stand a Chance

I like burning things. I light my candle and admire the flame. Then I put bits of paper in the candle. Then bigger bits of paper. And then I spill wax on my shirt. Fire is fun.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Entry 49: Don't Wake Me I Plan On Sleeping In

Date: Feb 27, 2008
Weight: 199 pounds
Song: XTC - Dear God

We went to Dix for a couple of drinks after a Canuck game which sadly ended in a heartbreaking shootout loss. After several IPAs, I realized that I still can't answer that eternal question of "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Well, I could say that I'll probably be about 220 and hunting through the want-ads for my fifth high-tech job.

So maybe I can't answer that question but I can answer this one: "Where do I see myself in 3 months?" Holding the SWMP trophy, that's where!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Entry 48: Scotland Forever

Date: Feb 26, 2008
Weight: 198 pounds
Song: My Latest Novel - The Reputation of Ross Francis

Today's song is for BigJ, who should get used to hearing those indecipherable Scottish accents if he hopes to survive the St. Andrews gig (which I am assuming he gets, of course). My experience with the Scots is they're not a superficial or gregarious lot, and we got along famously.

I look forward to visiting Scotland again soon. Golfing until 11pm on a clear and cool summer's day, marching across the windswept links calling "Golf ball! Golf ball! Wherefore art thou golf ball?", a well-worn flask at your side, bagpipes in the air, 1-up with one to play.

I can't imagine anything finer.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Entry 47: It Could Have Been a Brilliant Career

Date: Feb 25, 2008
Weight: 198 pounds
Song: Cheap Trick - Surrender

This is entry #47, so it is a good day. 47 is my number! Heck - my favourite poker hand is 47 of clubs, although it generally gets me into trouble more than it ever helps me. Originally I recall that my lucky number was #7 and Gary Lupul was my favourite Canuck. Well that's not totally true because I preferred Tony Tanti as he was our answer to Wayne Gretzky.

Anyways, I played baseball back in Victoria for five years from ages 9-13. Prior to that would have been my illustrious field hockey career, but we won't speak of that here. In my final year of Babe Ruth, I was selected to the Gordon Head All Star team as one of our community's best and brightest. We played against some of the other leagues but never advanced out of the city. I was randomly assigned #47, and this is when I switched my allegiance from plain old #7 to the majestic #47.

I was pretty slight and weak at that age and had almost no power to speak of (Batting Average = Slugging Average). Still, I always had surprisingly good hand-eye coordination and hit for a respectable average. I mostly played second base, but don't really remember being a particularly good fielder.

My most embarassing memory from my baseball career was when I struck out on a pitch that hit me. It wasn't like it was a vicious curve or something, I just panicked and swung at something awful. That was a lonely walk back to the bench, and I doubt I played more than a couple more games after that one.

I have only played softball maybe 5 times in the 20-odd years since then and I always assume that I will pick up right where I left off, but then I miss the pitcher's lob completely with my furious swings and eventually hit a pathetic ground ball, and mutter as I walk back to the dugout to put an ice pack on my ailing shoulder.

So I'll admit that my baseball days are behind me, but I think I would like to play softball again sometime. It's a beautiful day today, let's play two.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Entry 46: No Trade For Old Men

Date: Feb 24, 2008
Weight: 200 pounds
Song: Radiohead - All I Need

The big news today is that Mats Sundin has decided not to waive his no-trade clause and leave the Toronto Maple Leafs for a contender. Instead he's going to play out the season with the sad-sack Leafs as his contract dictates. I say "Good for him!"

Now this may upset many of the Leaf faithful who would prefer to see Mats go "for the good of the team". If you want to read one journalist at his most retarded, check out this link.

Anyways, Sundin has a no-trade clause in his contract, wants to stay in Toronto, so is choosing to exercise it. This seems perfectly fine and is pretty much the whole point of such a contract. If my employer asked me to accept a trade to Finland for "the good of the company" even though I had specifically negotitated that they couldn't do this, what would I think? I'd think my company were scumbags, refuse, and then tell them where to put it.

And this is what Sundin has done. Good for him.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Entry 45: Tax Time

Date: Feb 23, 2008
Weight: 199 pounds
Song: Frou Frou - Let Go

I just did my taxes online. It took 21 minutes from start to finish. I don't understand why more people don't do their taxes earlier in the year if they are getting money back. I'm a big fan of money and I look forward to receiving my refund!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Entry 44: A Canadian Girl

Date: Feb 22, 2008
Weight: 199 pounds
Song: Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers - American Girl

I'm not sure how this year is going to go, but I know it will be a good one.

Man this weight is just not coming down! I'm starting to get a little embarrassed by my poor progress. But I'm not giving up and once the frequent golf games get going I'm sure it will come right down to where it should be. And it starts tomorrow.

I'm predicting 73.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Entry 43: Eggs is Eggs

Date: Feb 21, 2008
Weight: 198 pounds
Song: Genesis - Supper's Ready

Inspired by reading my cousin's facebook status of "listening to Genesis", I'm going with one of my alltime favourites today. I've never really understood why progressive rock gets such a bad rap. Give me 23-minute epics about the Apocalypse over "Sussudio" any day. This is not to say that I don't also like punk, for I'm nothing if not inconsistent.

I think there's a great wheel in the sky governing popular music. When things get too bloated and talentless and formulaic (which I see represented by the rise of American Idol, a show I enjoy), it's good for the kids to come in and change it all up in ways that we won't understand. I believe we're at one of those inflection points now. But where will the next change come from? Has it already happened and I'm too old to notice?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Entry 42: What is Life?

Date: Feb 20, 2008
Weight: 198 pounds
Song: George Harrison - What is Life

As I was writing this blog, I received a phone call from Brother Vlad wondering if by chance I had a day off tomorrow to play golf. I do not. But rather than bemoan my endentured fate, I will simply count my blessings and quietly wait for springtime.

The Match Play started today, and this always one of my favourite events. There's nothing to compare with the purity of match play to settle a golf match. Two men enter, one man leaves. How about that Tiger, 3-down with 5 to play and he wins 1-up. He may lose tomorrow, but that was surely an impressive feat. That man will win the Grand Slam this year and we are blessed to be alive to bear witness.

I look forward to playing golf both Saturday and Sunday this coming weekend. It is time to ramp up the practice schedule, remove the rust, and silence the critics.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Entry 41: An Empty Call for Improvement

Date: Feb 19, 2008
Weight: 199 pounds
Song: Feist - 1234

A very happy 9th Birthday to my niece, Amanda.

I have a sore back today and I fear that it might be from the "exertions" of my Saturday game of golf. Wow - I am seriously getting old. But I must fight against this remorseless march of father time! Don't get too comfortable in that corner, gym bag as there may yet be a use for you.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Entry 40: I Enjoy Playing Cards

Date: Feb 18, 2008
Weight: 199 pounds
Song: The Clash - The Card Cheat

I like playing cards but wish I had the discipline to be better at it. I have been a rank novice for far too long.

My speakers are crackling horribly. Stupid computer.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Entry 39: Beautiful Day

Date: Feb 17, 2008
Weight: 199 pounds
Song: U2 - Beautiful Day

It really is a beautiful day today. I am glad that spring is here.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Entry 38: Life is Good

Date: Feb 16, 2008
Weight: 199 pounds
Song: Rufus Wainwright - Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk

I played golf today at UBC with the Champ vs. Big J. and PW. Despite struggling to an 83, we were victorious. PW had a putt to tie for the win on 18 but he came up short as one would expect. My results this year haven't been particularly impressive, but every signal I'm reading indicates that this will soon turn around and that we should see a run towards the Kootenay Loop crown, or possibly a second Uplands Club Championship.

I've started playing Gilman at "Scramble" on Facebook and am utterly annihilating him. That is a fun game.

The Canucks are 5-8 in the shootout by the way. Did anyone ever have any doubt? I should be more forceful in these sorts of situations and not pretend that it is an item for discussion. For the far more important thing than knowing what you know is knowing what you don't know, and having the wisdom to tell the difference.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Entry 37: For the Love of Money

Date: Feb 15, 2008
Weight: 198 pounds
Song: New Radicals - You Get What You Give

Money is great.

If there's anyone who ever tells you about the problems associated with money or informs you that the love of money is the root of all evil, I can tell you one thing about that person: they had money.

Rich people have problems. Poor people have problems. Everyone has problems. This is no surprise and no big deal.

So let's say you have said problems and you're wondering what to do about them. What do you wish you had?

Money.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Entry 36: KFC, RIP

Date: Feb 14, 2008
Weight: 199 pounds
Song: Suede - The Next Life

I attempted to eat some Thursday KFC for dinner tonight, but was shocked to discover that the KFC at Broadway and Larch has permanently closed. A great tragedy to be sure, and I am still in denial. So many great memories, so many wonderful meals.

But we the living must go on and live our lives as the W. Broadway KFC would have wanted. In this way we honour that fine establishment, for there is a little of the W. Broadway KFC inside all of us.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Entry 35: Sailing

Date: Feb 13, 2008
Weight: 199 pounds
Song: David Bowie - The Bewlay Brothers

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. It's pretty fashionable among the uber-hip to bash Valentine's Day and other "greeting card holidays" as overly commercial and such, why one guy at work was even bragging about how he never buys flowers for his wife because she thinks it's a waste of money! What a maroon!

No, I'm a closet romantic and will say nothing bad about February the 14th.

So to celebrate the occasion tomorrow, our company is sending us on a drunken boat cruise to celebrate our annual kickoff. Why on earth did they pick Feb. 14th for this? Conspiracy theorists suppose that they were hoping to reduce the number of people who go and the expense. Anyways, I am going and I will most likely enjoy a beverage or two, but it will not likely be in the running for the best Valentine's Day ever.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Entry 34 - Loveless

Date: Feb 12, 2008
Weight: 200 pounds
Song: Mogwai - Kids Will Be Skeletons

I am worried about tomorrow's weigh-in because it should mark the first that I am over 200, heck I probably will hit 202. Why? Because PW dragged me out for pasta after I drove him to East Jesus to pick up his car. I wasn't particularly hungry but managed to finish the healthily portioned plate anyways. Double sigh.

I went to the dentist today for the first time in five years. I was dreading this, and for good reason because my teeth are not good - it must be my unfettered love of chocolate. Although I have no imminent pain issues, I somehow need all 8 of my fillings replaced as they are starting to decay. As for the other teeth... well they are not in good shape either. The dentist recommended I be more thorough with my flossing and start using an electric toothbrush. She also recommended that I consider an orthodontist as my crooked teeth are causing problems with my jaw, gums, and general cleaning.

I hope the weather cooperates this week because I'm looking forward to golfing again. It was light at 5:30 today! Summer is all but here. Are you prepared?

Monday, February 11, 2008

Entry 33: Full Circle

Date: Feb 11, 2008
Weight: 200 pounds
Song: My Bloody Valentine - Soon

Yesterday I consumed all of the following items:
beer
chocolates
nachos
ice cream
cinnamon bun
pizza
hot dog
coca-cola
large vanilla latte

Surprisingly enough, I am one pound heavier today, and after 33 days of painstakingly noting my weight I find myself exactly where I started.

Clearly it has all been for nought.

To celebrate this discovery, I am eating chocolate and wearing sweat pants.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Entry 32: 2008 Will Be a Good Year

Date: Feb 10, 2008
Weight: 199 pounds
Song: Sigur Rós - Svefn-g-englar

I played golf with BigJ today at Fraserview in my second round of the year. It didn't rain too much and the weather was extremely pleasant.

We had a good back&forth match on the front nine and were all-square through 8, but I then rattled off six straight wins to claim a 6&4 triumph. But perhaps more impressively after the round BigJ managed to win 6 straight quarters from me before I finally got one back. Quarters is a great game to play while enjoying a pint after a round at Fraserview. You sit on the balcony and watch each group play their final shots to the 18th over the large raveen. One player sets the line on the total number of shots that they take (e.g. 15.5), and the other bets OVER or UNDER. I had the misfortune of having the under on an unfortunate foursome, only to see one player hit into the gunk not once but four times before taking a questionable drop (and then making an unlikely up-and-down for 12).

But what did I shoot? Well, I only managed a 79 but I am quite content. I felt the driver rounding into form and I actually made a couple of putts. With just a little elbow grease and improved fitness, I forsee that 2008 will be a very good year.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Entry 31: How I Spent My Saturday

Date: Feb 9, 2008
Weight: 198 pounds
Song: Spiritualized - Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space

Nothing exciting happened today. I'm getting over my cold slowly. I didn't go to the Canuck game which is just as well because they were smoked 6-2 by the Avs.

I'm planning to play golf tomorrow - I hope it does not rain.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Entry 30: Total BS

Date: Feb 8, 2008
Weight: 197 pounds
Song: Joy Division - She's Lost Control

Today's blog entry is about Britney Spears, who I am worried about. In writing this, I'm hoping that this is the first time that Joy Division and Miss Spears have ever been jointly referenced. But I will first note that my illness led me to drop 2 pounds yesterday, putting me at a 2008 record of 197. I'm hopeful that I can build on this small accomplishment if I can stay sick all weekend.

As for Brit, I'll be brief. She is a young insane drug-addled single mom who is probably going to die soon. So let's give her some space and hope she pulls herself together. This is the humanitarian thing to do. I do not understand delighting in the suffering of other humans, celebrity or no.

But of course Brit will never shun the cursed spotlight because she loves the attention even more than she loathes the scrutiny. Much as she no doubt loves and hates herself (like a young Gollum).

Britney, you have this blog's support should you ever actually decide to get better.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Entry 29: Sick Again

Date: Feb 7, 2008
Weight: 199 pounds
Song: Stone Roses - She Bangs the Drums

I'm sick today and I didn't go to work. I don't have any energy at the moment.

I am drinking orange juice and eating chicken.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Entry 28: I Have a Bad Cold Today

Date: Feb 6, 2008
Weight: 200 pounds
Song: Alabama 3 - Connected

Oh, I'm really hoping that I don't hit 201 as that would be embarassing. We're not really going the right way with this thing yet but I remain optimistic.

February is revival month for me. The blahs of winter will soon dissipate as the world is bathed in warm sunlight. I really should move to Australia for six months of the year as I am not psychologically disposed to properly handle the absence of sun.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Entry 27: The Wrong End of the Shootout

Date: Feb 5, 2008
Weight: 200 pounds
Song: Procol Harum - The Wreck of the Hesperus

Why can't the stupid Canucks win in the stupid shootout?

I earlier said that people were wrong to panic about the Canuck's situation. Well now that all of their best defencemen are injured and they've rattled off a series of losses, I will reverse that assessment.

It is now officially time to panic.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Entry 26: A Sense of Adventure

Date: Feb 4, 2008
Weight: 200 pounds
Song: Flaming Lips - Fight Test

I am not motivated by a sense of adventure. The tried, tested, and true are alright by me. I have no further territorial ambitions in Europe.

The big work news is that my protege has decided to quit and go back to her hometown. She didn't really this job nor this city, so I'm glad that she's following her bliss, but I still feel like it's a shame to see her go.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Entry 25 - I believe in football

Date: Feb 3, 2008
Weight: 199 pounds
Song: Pulp - Babies

Well that was an enjoyable Super Bowl - I am still somewhat in shock that the Patriots lost. I just assumed they would pull it out somehow. I wasn't sure what I would think while I watched the game, but I found that in the end I was rooting for the Giants.

I guess it just goes to show that nothing in this world is ever certain and that they still need to play the game and that games aren't won on paper, etc. etc.

Wow.

Before the Super Bowl we played a quick game of 4-on-4 touch football at Doyle Park. This was the first exercise I'd had in a long time, so I didn't expect it go very well. But I think it was better that I expected, and I even caught a few nice long bombs over a sluggish P.W. I hope we play again long before next year's game, because football is fun, and so is exercise. Well - exercise accompanied by a ball or stick (still not sure about the whole running thing...).

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Entry 24: I Have a Sweet Tooth

Date: Feb 2, 2008
Weight: 198 pounds
Song: Björk - I've Seen It All

Some people like chocolate a little. Others like chocolate a lot.

I am in the latter camp.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Entry 23: 19-0?

Date: Feb 1, 2008
Weight: 199 pounds
Song: Metric - Dead Disco

The New England Patriots are going to win the Super Bowl on Sunday.

Most people I know are feverishly rooting against them but I have to admit that I'm not. I guess on balance I'm actually hoping that New England wins and they go 19-0. Hooray for New England. I am not sure why but I don't really hate the Pats.

But in considering the issue further, I realize that I feel if the Seahawks are not involved (which they sadly are not), then I don't particularly care who wins.

I'm not really thinking about Brady and company. I'm wondering if the Seahawks are going to cut Alexander and draft a hot young RB behind a revamped OLine. I think they can make it back to the Super Bowl next year. I mean - Eli Manning and the Giants have done it this year, so how hard can it be?